Chon: You're already dead. You're dead from the moment you're born. If you can accept that, you can accept anything.
Elena: [to O about Ben and Chon] There's something wrong with your love story, baby. They may love you, but they will never love you as much as they love each other. Otherwise, they wouldn't share you, would they?
O: [voice-over] I looked up the definition of the word savage. It means cruel, crippled, regressed back to a primal state of being. One day, maybe, we'll be back. For now, we live like savages... beautiful, savages.
O: [voice-over] Just because I'm telling you this story doesn't mean I'm alive at the end of it. This could all be pre-recorded and I could be talking to you from the bottom of the ocean. Yeah, it's that kind of a story. Because things just got so out of control.
Chon: Adrenaline is natures way of telling you 'don't fuck up.'
O: [voice-over, describing sex with Chon] I have orgasms. He has "wargasms."
O: That's how I imagined it went down, but the truth has an imagination of its own.
Elena: I like talking to you Ophelia. But let me remind you that if I had to, I wouldn't have a problem cutting both their throats.
Elena: If the mountain doesn't come to Mohammed, Mohammed comes to California.
Elena: Have you ever really thought about your future?
O: That's a little ironic, considering the situation I'm in.
Lado: [about O] So which cock does she suck?
Esteban: I can't tell. The white guys like each other. Maybe they're faggots.
Lado: Maybe she does them both.
Chon: I think, basically, you want us to eat your shit and call it caviar.
Chon: Grow up Ben. You don't change the world, it changes you.
Chon: Close your legs. It's showing.
O: [uncrossing her ankles and putting her knees together] Oh. Sorry...
Chon: [about Ben] I was talking to him.
Ben: That was Mexico, this is Laguna. The cops wear shorts and ride bicycles.
O: [voice-over] It started here in paradise, Laguna Beach, where they say God parked himself on the seventh day, but they towed him on the eighth.
Elena: They must be taught respect. I found their weakness.
O: [voice-over] Call me O. I was named after Ophelia, the bipolar basket case in Hamlet who committed suicide. So I cut it down to just O.
Elena: May I ask you how long have you been using, Ophelia?
O: Since the eighth grade.
Elena: And you're wondering why you're having concentration problems?
Lado: You think you left the old ways behind? Well, let me tell you something. Tijuana is coming here. It's chasing us.
Lado: [via a Skype video and email to Ben and Chon] These guys were stupid. Be smarter. Don't make us go live! ::frowning-face emoticon:: We need to talk. Time and place coming...!