My Wedding and Other Secrets (2011) User Reviews

Warm but not Hot, Nice but not Nauseating.

[thepoisonedpie · 7/10 · 7 April 2011]

I am a man, and not really into reviewing "Date Movies" but My Wedding and Other secrets is a lovely little film. It's not going to change the world in any way, but it's a diverting and well made bit of cinema.

At the heart of it, MWAOS is simple, personal love story that bridges the race divide in contemporary New Zealand, and let's face it, the major plot line on it's own is no reason to see this film. It's been done a million times before. What makes this more than just a "Bend it Like Beckham" clone is that it's based on the director, Roseanne Liang's, own true story. It gets quite meta at times, as the film heavily references the making of it's own principal source material, a documentary make by Liang about the relationship, upon which the film was based.

The intimacy these links provide brings a definite charismatic warmth into the film. Certainly, the performances of the two leads are OK if not brilliant, but the gentle awkwardness of the two protagonists has a real, personal charisma to it. They are watchable and relatable, although I do wonder why Emily didn't ever invest in a less naff set of eyeglasses.

The supporting cast is filled with interesting characters. In particular Emily's entire family (especially the mincing, gossipy Aunty) and James' super-geeky flatmates grab your attention every chance they get.

In summary, it's a warm and affable love story, told well by a decent cast. But the really memorable thing about this film is the intimacy brought to every level of the production by Liang herself.

charming, quirky and very enjoyable New Zealand romantic comedy

[gregking4 · 7/10 · 9 June 2012]

A cross-cultural Romeo And Juliet, the charming, quirky and very enjoyable New Zealand romantic comedy My Wedding And Other Secrets is based on the filmmaker's own story. While still a student at university, Roseanne Liang, a New Zealand girl of Chinese descent, married her Caucasian boyfriend. But she was forced to keep the marriage a secret from her strict parents because of their traditional beliefs and attitude towards interracial relationships. This subterfuge put additional pressure on both her and her partner. In 2005, Liang made Bananas In A Nutshell, a 50-minute documentary that explored this secret marriage and its ramifications. She has now turned that autobiographical film into a full-length feature film that dramatises her story and it is full of self-referential asides. The film deals with some universal themes like family, trust, love, relationships, the lot of immigrants adjusting to their new country, culture and tradition, and it has broad appeal. Liang's fictional counterpart here is Emily Chu (played by Michelle Ang), a perky but neurotic over achiever who is the youngest of three sisters. Ang (from TV series Neighbours and Outrageous Fortune, etc) brings an endearingly awkward quality to her performance, but she also manages to suggest the guilt and complex emotional journey of her character. Matt Whelan (from the offbeat comedy Eagle Vs Shark, etc) is also solid as James her boyfriend/husband, who disagrees with her hypocrisy. And veteran Chinese actors Pei-pei Cheng and Kenneth Tsang bring gravitas to their roles as her parents, who prove to be far more understanding. The film's first screening at MIFF was well received, and it's to be hoped that a local distributor will pick up My Wedding And Other Secrets, as it deserves to be seen by a wider audience.

"The Asian girl from the show "The tribe"

[gemreviews2 · 5/10 · 7 October 2014]

Yes, Michelle Ang is still a working actress.I wanted to watch this movie because its a New Zealander movie. And im an American that loves foreign films. Im always curious to see how the other side of the world works.

And yes, right before watching the film, i did read the synopsis. And here it is: Its the story about a young Chinese college student (a nerdy Asian girl) that falls in love with a white college student (a very tall, lanky young man that plays videogames)

She goes out with the young man. They have dinner and sex and talk about what they want to be when they graduate. But her Chinese family is still stuck in the dark ages (theyre racist) and Michelle Ang's character keeps the relationship secret....yeah, i rolled my eyes, too.

I personally didn't think that having a relationship and keeping it secret was the big deal of the movie. It was the fact that she proposes marriage to her white boyfriend so she can scam the government for a student grant.

Yes, that happen. Michelle's character wants to make a Kung Fu movie for some film school thesis. And she needs money. In New Zealand,the government offers cash money to newly married college students so that they can have a little bit of extra help.

Ang's character seems to be very self- centered and doesn't consider committing fraud a big deal. Her excuse to her boyfriend is that they are in love and its not defrauding. Its just a way to get money.

My problem with this film is that the writer/director couldn't figure out what plot to use. And tackles all 3 possible plots. Her boyfriend, her racist parents, committing fraud. The director talks about everything, but doesn't finish anything.

I felt it was a relief when Ang's character agrees with her boyfriends wishes to meet her parents. Here, is where we see the boyfriend learning mandarin Chinese.

He gets intense about it, too.

Its a very well shot film with great actors, but lousy characters. And a tired- out "Chinese-culture-shock" movie that doesn't make sense.

The Joy luck club was a better film and i suggest you watch that movie instead. Another good "Chinese-culture" shock movie to watch is "The Wedding banquet."

"The Wedding Banquet." is almost identical to "My wedding and other secrets." But its better.

I enjoyed This movie. But i can make some safe assumptions about the audience that is going to watch this. And i know they wont like it.

Its a movie that wants you to take the side of the main character. But its hard to like her.And its somewhat embarrassing to portray a Chinese family as ignorant racists.

I cant agree with that to be a fact. And if it is, then its pretty sad.

Down to earth romantic comedy

[briancham1994 · 7/10 · 6 August 2020]

This film is a romantic comedy about culture clash and acceptance. At times it feels more genuine than the hyper stylised Hollywood romance films, but at other times it feels more contrived. The most important thing is that the characters all felt real. By the way, it directly featured the exact building in which I was watching the film itself, which was a strange thing to see.

yeah Na

[lisabradley-93301 · 5/10 · 7 February 2016]

I set about this movie because there was nothing better to do, and after around 70 minutes I woke up to the fact I was better doing just about anything else than following this insipid tale to it's end. OK it was an obvious cheese fest, but this is a film I couldn't watch to maturity. It was unbearable watching the main character struggle with the 'I am upsetting my dad' story. How can a woman be so pathetic, and a total contradiction at the same time? Here she is, bending to the will of her dad, but so treating the man she has married with complete disrespect. Go figure. But, then they are Chinese... so that's OK. Forgive my Kiwiness. And that's where the story really starts to grate. The tale had no depth in terms of a story of two cultures divided. I suppose it was trying to win our charms on the 'cute' front. And it failed there. This story was so racist in the way it undermined all things Kiwi. I and everyone I should hope to meet love that Aotearoa is a melting pot of many cultures. However, I shudder that we should be at a stage where being held up as a Kiwi is of lesser value in the land we are raised. We learned about how to be Chinese, but not that living in New Zealand means adopting all that is wonderful about being Kiwi. And there's much to celebrate about that. I would like our film-makers to not make light of our new cultural identity, and to realize at last that it is our Kiwiness that is the forefront of all that our combined cultures are now blending into. Tall poppy syndrome? Let's drop it finally, aye? And accept ownership of what is actually a great identity, albeit it one swamped by a world few of us can now afford! In summary, yeah-Na.

...In a Nutshell

[AsianTalentHollywood · 8/10 · 15 August 2011]

While the movie is billed as a "romance," the fact that it is based on a true story actually gives the film more of a dramatic edge than perhaps the title and the billing of the film fail to alert audiences too, and sadly, may deter those who love a great drama from going to see. So for those who wanna see a romantic film, you'll love this…and for those who love dramas, here is why you should see this film! My Wedding and Other Secrets is based on a documentary by Rosanne Liang called Banana In a Nutshell about her real life experiences; that in and of itself is part of the reasons why the film is so successful. Gone are all the nice ribbons and bows and cute little one-liners you would expect in a "romance" and instead you experience real characters with depth and with real conversation and interactions that are tangible. While in the end the film ends on a happy note as you'd expect from a romance, the journey to that point is littered with the complexities of human emotion, cultural differences, and the loving bond of family. Michelle Ang, who plays Emily Chu, does a wonderful job of creating a character torn between her love of a non-Chinese boyfriend and her family's "Chinese" expectations for their daughter. Emily is then pulled in so many directions in the film while she tries to decide what her life should be, and the best choices to make, and it is her performance that brings this drama to life. Matt Whelan, Pei-Pei Cheng, Kenneth Tsang and Mike Ginn all provide an exceptional supporting cast. Real life "Emily," Rosanne Liang, directed the film and her guidance has created a film with the perfect balance between romance and drama, making a very original "romance" film that is a great drama not to be missed.

Luckily Antiquated

[damlonyc · 1/10 · 25 April 2020]

The whole WMAF movement was probably a trendy topic when this film was made.. luckily this mentality is fading. I just think any form of art that exploits this depiction of making a white man seem superior in interracial relationships is disgusting, especially when you realize this whole union of Asian women becoming submissive to white men was started by war when American and European men were stationed in Asian countries. It's clear the filmmaker was just trying to glorify her own fetish but she should've been smarter about it and at least switched the genders so it would be an Asian man crossing cultures with a white woman.

way better than anticipated - don't be put off by title

[cekadah · 8/10 · 26 December 2012]

i had no idea what to expect from this movie. the title threw me off and i was thinking 'another chick flick' - that is not the case!

what i found was a charming story involving two young adults stumbling into the real world of attraction, love, commitment, and dealing with cultural differences. the director roseanne liang did a marvelous job of pulling these issues together without having one issue overwhelm the others. beautifully acted by the two lead characters and especially michelle ang! her lessons are expressed from the heart - and she learns that the world outside of oneself can appear to be very cold when it is not. it's all in how you perceive it. her boyfriend learns this a bit slower.

my only problem with this movie is the father character. one daughter's love is destroyed by his prejudice but the youngest daughter's love is accepted with little justification. watch the movie and you will understand. the father has no guilt in what he did to the eldest daughter and that point is not addressed in the story. yet, he seems more relaxed with the path the youngest has taken. if he chose to be more 'giving' with his youngest daughter because of the unhappiness suffered by the eldest daughter, then the director failed to clarify that fact.

outside of that conflict i have with this movie, i find it a truly delightful and entertaining film. the ending is a bit 'soft' but i'm willing to overlook that due to the fine and expressive acting by the lead characters.

I am disgusted by this movie. What a distortion of Chinese family values

[mablecheng1981 · 1/10 · 9 August 2011]

Simply awful. I do not think such Chinese family exists. The parents are simply dictators and the daughters almost have no self-respects (in terms of chasing their own happiness). The portrait of the Chinese family is so distorted. The Chinese aren't like this at all. This is just some weird, suppressed, odd and pathetic family that only exists in a screen play.

The costumes are quite awful. How many people dress like Emily nowadays? Unbelievable. And the actress looks like she's 40 years old. Why can't she wear just a bit of make-up to look real everyday people?!

Watch at your own risk.

Not just a love story

[tara-46056 · 8/10 · 7 March 2024]

This movie really moved because their love is so real and I was raised in strict Indian family, she wrote her family so well. My favorite part is with her Mother when she cooks for her. If you liked Eat Drink Man Woman you will get a lot out of this film. A story about fitting in to a the society you raised in and then entering the other world of your family home and all the traditions and communities that entails.

The love story is brilliant if you like crying. James did so well to empress his new family and it shows his side of what he goes through. I was reminded of my first love and how that shaped and changed me. There are not too many coming of age stories based in New Zealand.

What also impressed about this movie was she explores life from her Dad perspective and that is rare.

I recommend this movie for the whole family but especially teenagers.