After ISIS loses yet another lucrative contract to rival agency ODIN, Malory assigns Archer and Lana to embarrass ODIN by stealing a priceless diamond from their biggest client.




(creator), | 3 more credits »

Watch Now

From $1.99 on Amazon Video



1 video »


Episode cast overview:
Sterling Archer (voice)
Len Trexler (voice)
Cheryl Tunt (voice)
Pam Poovey (voice)
Cyril Figgis (voice)
Ray Gillette (voice)
Lana Kane (voice)
Malory Archer (voice)
Doctor Krieger (voice)


The Uffizi disaster moved ISIS off the security consultant work for foreign powers and governments, so when ISIS gets a job in San Marino, Malory sends her two best agents. The pair test palace security for the wealthy microstate (or principality, depending on one's view). When mudak, Len Trexler, steals the San Marino contract for ODIN, Malory commits three phrasing errors in a row. Commence "Operation Rub Len Trexler's Big Fat Nose In It!" Days of Oktoberfest with gallons of schuetzie, Jagermeister, beer and absinthe cannot disguise a tiny champagne-colored thingamabob or labor issues at ISIS. Ill-equipped and stranded, Archer and Lana strike forth to make the diamond hot, but it is all bread and roses, entitlement crap and collective bargaining at ISIS. With a finite quantity of gin and Archer's fate in the hands of the drones, will Malory finally crumble to Labor? It may be all muffins and denial, but can you really put a price on good...personnel? Written by LA-Lawyer

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis



Release Date:

4 March 2010 (USA)  »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


See  »

Did You Know?


The security code for the diamond case at the beginning of the episode is part of the serial number for the bomb at the end of Archer: Skytanic (2010). See more »


[first lines]
Sterling Archer: Shh!
See more »


References Gator (1976) See more »


Closing Theme 'The Killer'
Written by Mel Young
See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.

User Reviews

Muffins and Diamonds
30 October 2015 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

If they can steal an enormous diamond, Archer and Lana will embarrass the opposition. It's impossible for either of them to be quiet and they are discovered. Meanwhile, there is unrest in the ranks. Cyril wants to give Lana a diamond and ask her to marry him. The one he buys is microscopic because he, like all the others, are paid terribly. The drones decide to go on strike and disable any effort for the secret agents to get the big rock. Mallory is locked in an elevator as the strikers attempt extortion to get a cost of living raise. Mallory continues to resist, even though her son could be killed. This episode is not as funny as some. There are a series of guesses as they try to remember the name of the captain. Archer chimes in with Crunch and Kangaroo.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

Message Boards

Recent Posts
WTF anon17
Archer renewed for Seasons 8, 9 & 10 vondiesel-1
Pool Archer is Cyborg too! ThatGuy25
Will there be a season 8? jzerba
2000 hours of PI work okagetadaka
Double Indecency deepc185
Discuss The Rock (2010) on the IMDb message boards »

Contribute to This Page