Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: She's easily as pretty as I am. I mean... using me as a standard.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you *are* the standard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Andrew is not as handsome as you. Using you as a standard. He is, however, taller. Catherine isn't as smart as I am.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, I'm not as smart as Hacker.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you once said he's a doofus.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He *is* a doofus, smart doofus.
Clark Edison: Man, you killed the Moroccan Angelfish?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. No, I did not. They died on their own. Only afterwards, did I puree them.
Andrew Hacker: [to Booth] I truly hope that you don't end up getting eaten by sharks, because your successes have done wonders for my career.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins has just performed an experiment] See?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [on phone] No, I don't see. I'm in another place. I'm driving a car.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, if you were here, you'd be very impressed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hit him with the filter, Booth. That's your connection.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [very concerned] Hodgins means metaphorically, Booth. If you hit a Russian mobster with an actual filter, he'd probably just impale you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, well, that's great. Thanks for the tip.
Dr. Catherine Bryar: A season law enforcement agent who still has empathy for victim. I'm glad to know you're out there.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: At your service.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where's the nearest place a tigershark, hammerhead, and red snapper could co-exist?
Andrew Hacker: How about the aquarium?
Andrew Hacker: Hey, you don't get to be Deputy Director of the FBI by just dressing well, and kissing ass. Okay, yeah, that's most of it. But I'm probably right about the aquarium.
Dr. Catherine Bryar: I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?... Maybe this weekend? Unless of course, I'm a suspect, cause I know you can't date me if I'm a suspect, right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I - I can't date anyone who's a suspect.
Dr. Catherine Bryar: I understand.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, right. It's FBI, rules regulations.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [On the phone] Bones says "Hello."
Andrew Hacker: Hello. Tell her, I'm really looking forward to our date.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did you want to speak to each other, or was there something you wanted to tell me, sir?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should take the fish back to the lab.
Marilyn Stoddard: No, you can't! These are gifts from Morrocco.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: They need to be tested for trace evidence in a murder investigation.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We'll get them back to you. Don't worry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I may or may not get them back to you.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, no, it's pretty tough to tell your average 9 year old from your average psychopath.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't say that, all right? I have a kid nearly that age.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Children are still forming their sense of ethics at this age. Like I said, they're basically sociopaths.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [about Angela] She may be in the market for a new Intern.
Clark Edison: Okay, okay, okay. Listen, I'm gonna - I'm gonna break my cardinal rule for you, and offer some good advice. Don't do that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do what?
Clark Edison: Channel your own frustrations in snide allusions.
Grace Redmon: SPOILER I went to nine of his seminars. I have fibromyalgia and that bastard convinced me that if I just faced my fears, that magically all of this pain would just disappear. He lied.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So you brought a group of fourth graders along as an alibi for murder?
Grace Redmon: No, it was a coincidence. He took me back to see this poisonous fish. "Come face your fears," he said. Last thing he should have said to me right then. I'll tell you what, though. He might have been on to something, that bastard. Because ever since I shoved his lying face into that poisonous fish, I haven't felt any pain.