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"The Simpsons" Stealing First Base (TV Episode 2010) Poster

(TV Series)

(2010)

Quotes

Miss Hoover: There was a mix up with your tests. You actually got an A triple-plus. The F belonged to Ralph.

Ralph Wiggum: I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.

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Principal Skinner: [On a school skit] I'm Bart Simpson, disruptive fourth grader.

Homer Simpson: I've finally caught one of Bart's plays.

Marge Simpson: That's not Bart, that's Principal Skinner. Bart's sitting right next to you.

Homer Simpson: Oh, now that I look closer, that guy can't fool anybody.

Principal Skinner: Shut up, fatso.

Homer Simpson: Why you little...!

[Runs onstage and strangles Skinner]

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Marge Simpson: You told him to kiss her? Why didn't you just tell him to hit her over the head with a club and drag her to a cave?

Grampa Simpson: You mean second base? He's a little young for that.

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Bart Simpson: I need to talk to you about man stuff.

Homer Simpson: Talk to grandpa. He used to be a man.

Bart Simpson: He did?

Grampa Simpson: [Struggling to peel a banana] Come on, give up the goods, you yellow devil!

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Bart Simpson: Where's Mrs. K?

Principal Skinner: Mrs. Krabappel went to Idaho. Turns out the people sent to rescue her sister from a cult turned out to be an even worse cult.

Bart Simpson: So who's taking her place? Me, I hope.

Principal Skinner: No, not you. Never you.

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Kevin the Blind Boy: Nelson, now that the ban has been lifted, let me touch your face so that I can see how you really are.

[Feels Nelson's face]

Kevin the Blind Boy: Hey, I said your face, not your butt.

Nelson Muntz: Aw, you're comfortable enough to mock me.

[Punches Kevin]

Nelson Muntz: That's for mocking me!

Kevin the Blind Boy: Nelson, your punch has restored my vision! I can see again!

Nelson Muntz: Really?

Kevin the Blind Boy: Ha-ha!

Nelson Muntz: The student has become the master.

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Principal Skinner: Mr. and Mrs Simpson, these are Brody and Madison McKenna. Their daughter is on Bart's class.

Brody McKenna: Mr. Simpson, your son engaged in unwanted mouth contact with our daughter.

Marge Simpson: They kissed?

Madison McKenna: On the slide.

Homer Simpson: That's all that happened, and I got to miss a day of work? Thank you!

Madison McKenna: Mr. Simpson, I'm a high-class lawyer, and my husband is a district attorney, and we're not happy.

Homer Simpson: Maybe you should get easier jobs.

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Madison McKenna: Unless you make this school an affection-free environment, we'll sue you to the last dime.

Principal Skinner: [holds up dime] Here it is.

Madison McKenna: And we'll make you wish your son was ever born.

Homer Simpson: Already half way there, lady.

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Nikki McKenna: [after Bart falls off the slide] He's dead! And I loved him! Oh, he's still breathing. Loser!

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Bart Simpson: I don't get you. You're hot, you're cold, you're hot... what is your deal?

Nikki McKenna: You have a lot to learn about women, and I'm not going to tell you.

Bart Simpson: Oh, I give up. Smell you later.

[as he walks away, Nikki runs to him and kisses him on the cheek, then walks away]

Bart Simpson: I love you!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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