Thad Castle: The teacher's become the master.
Harmon Tedesco: What?
Thad Castle: I said the teacher's become the blaster.
Harmon Tedesco: I literally have no idea what you're trying to say me right now, man.
Thad Castle: Come on, guys! We're going to play football! No teams!
Harmon Tedesco: Uh, I'm pretty sure you need two teams to play football, fellas, know what I'm sayin'?
Sammy Cacciatore: I wish I could rip my arms off and give them to you so you can call me sometime.
Monica: My phone voice-dials.
Sammy Cacciatore: Even better!
Coach Jon Jon: I don't like it when you call my house in the middle of the night... tell my wife to wake me up... just so we can talk about stuff that we can talk about tomorrow.
Coach Marty Daniels: I don't do that.
Thad Castle: Yes! Upper class-men win another!
Alex Moran: You didn't even measure that one.
Thad Castle: I measured with my dick!