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This Means War (2012) Poster

Quotes

Trish: Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl.

Agent Bothwick: [to FDR] She texted her friend Trish. She said she need to talk because she was "F-T-F-O," which the cryptography department believes means she was Freaking the Fuck Out, sir! I S-H-I-T you not. I was L-M-F-A-O when I read that.

Karate Dad: You're not listening to me.

Tuck: Mate, can I have a quick word with you?

[sucker punches him in the gut]

Tuck: Okay, that's it, stand up. A brave man once said to me, "Pain is weakness leaving the body."

Karate Dad: [grunting] Yes.

Tuck: Bye, weakness.

Lauren: FDR has these tiny, like, girl hands. Like, little T-Rex hands.

Trish: Ew, gross!

[Tuck laughs]

Trish: That means he's got a Mike and Ike for a penis.

[Tuck laughs out loud]

FDR Foster: You knot that's not true. You've seen it. You've seen it in Bangladesh, you know that's not true.

Lauren: And you look like the kind of guy who's interested in a one-day rental, if you know what I mean.

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FDR Foster: I missed you.

Tuck: I know. I've missed you too.

FDR Foster: I love you, man.

Tuck: I love you, too.

FDR Foster: We're back!

Lauren: Oh, my God. I'm Yoko.

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Lauren: Oh, I think I'm going to hell

Trish: Don't worry. If you're going to hell, I'll just come pick you up.

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FDR Foster: Did he just give our bird the bird?

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Katie: So what brings you to Hong Kong? Business or pleasure?

FDR Foster: Pleasure.

Tuck: Business.

FDR Foster: A little of both.

Katie: What kind of business are you in?

FDR Foster: I am a cruise ship captain of a very large vessel. My small friend here is a kick-ass travel agent.

Katie: Permission to come aboard, captain.

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[last lines]

FDR Foster: You never slept with Lauren?

Tuck: You slept with my wife!

[tackles him out of the airplane]

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Lauren: I'm going out. I'm dating. I'm having fun.

Trish: You date but you're not taking it seriously.

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Lauren: Oh, it was the most humiliating moment ever.

Trish: Well, that's because you have to come up with, like, better excuses. You should have been like, "I have a fiancé, too, but he's actually getting a penile reduction this afternoon because his penis is so big, every time it lands like a poltergeist."

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FDR Foster: I don't believe in mistakes. It's the mistakes that make us who we are.

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Karate Dad: [growls] Pain? That's just weakness leaving the body.

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[first lines]

Man 1: [over comms] All eyes are up.

Man 2: Sat cams are good.

Man 1: Target is inbound.

Man 2: ETA five minutes.

Collins: Mission is a go. Repeat, you are green to go. Intercept and apprehend the Heinrich brothers. Secure the device. And remember, this mission is covert.

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Joe: [watching the news] Mom. Is that dad?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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