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"Community" Modern Warfare (TV Episode 2010) Poster

(TV Series)

(2010)

Quotes

Britta Perry: Oh my God, you've been hit!

Jeff Winger: What? Oh no!

[checks red stain]

Jeff Winger: Wait, wait... it's blood.

[laughs]

Jeff Winger: I thought it was paint but I'm just bleeding. Talk about luck!

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Jeff Winger: *Checkmate Bitches!*

[along with Troy and Abed, shoots Chess Team]

Jeff Winger: And tell the Drama Club their tears will be real today.

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Jeff Winger: Write some original songs!

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Shirley Bennett: They remind me of Sam and Diane. I hated Sam and Diane.

Annie Edison: Who are Sam and Diane?

Shirley Bennett: All right, we get it. You're young.

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Jeff Winger: [after waking from an hour-long nap, he wakes up to the school seemingly empty and paint-splattered. He stumbles upon a paint-splattered guy sitting on the ground] What is going on?

Garrett: The-the paintball game was-was s-starting, and the-the dean, the dean announced the-the prize. *The prize!* We-we turned on each other like-like animals!

Jeff Winger: What was the prize?

Garrett: *Was?* This is not over! This is still happening! *Right now!*

[Get's shot by Leonard]

Jeff Winger: Leonard? Leonard! I'm not playing!

Leonard: *Everyone's playing!*

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[Shirley is "killed" in the paintball battle]

Shirley Bennett: [sadly] I'm going home.

Britta Perry: [sadly] Yes, you are.

Shirley Bennett: No, seriously. I'm going home. Can you help me up?

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Annie Edison: Let's get back to Britta and Jeff.

Jeff Winger: There is no Britta and Jeff!

Pierce Hawthorne: He said, fully erect.

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Troy Barnes: You thinking what I'm thinking?

Shirley Bennett: Mmm-hmm. Our team's walking with God.

Troy Barnes: I'm thinking we may already be the only seven left. In which case, this is a window for the two of us to take out the others.

Shirley Bennett: Real nice, Troy. That would great PR for the black students.

Troy Barnes: I'm not an ambassador. I am a gladiator. Now, do you want to win or not?

[Troy gets shot]

Shirley Bennett: Troy made God mad!

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[the study group is pinned down by the glee club]

Jeff Winger: Pierce! Do NOT come over here!

Pierce Hawthorne: Screw you! I'm coming over there!

[Pierce crawls out from behind cover and gets hit multiple times]

Pierce Hawthorne: Medic!

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Leonard: What it is, Soul Brother!

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Disco Stu: Study group! Come out and play-ee-ay

Jeff Winger: Oh, look! It's post-ironic Disco Stu! You still trying to bring it back?

[Sees more disco-clad people on quad skates roll in]

Jeff Winger: Damn. He brought it back.

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Abed Nadir: [Hears singing in the distance] Glee club.

Britta Perry: How do you know it's the Glee Club?

Abed Nadir: Listen.

Annie Edison: [Hears them sing a rendition of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar] Oh, brother!

[Gets up]

Annie Edison: That is *so* uninspired!

[Gets shot]

Jeff Winger: I'm not so sure...

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Abed Nadir: Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes.

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Pierce Hawthorne: You guys formed an alliance without me?

Jeff Winger: Yeah. You with Star-Burns?

Pierce Hawthorne: Not if I can be with you.

[Shoots Star-Burns]

Star-Burns: Ow!

Pierce Hawthorne: It's okay, it's just Star-Burns.

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Britta Perry: Shirley, I'm gonna win that prize for you and your boys!

Shirley Bennett: That's nice.

Jeff Winger: Shirley, I'm gonna win that prize, but not for you or your boys!

Shirley Bennett: That's less nice.

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Jeff Winger: Don't tell me you had sex with me just to win at paintball.

Britta Perry: No. I had sex with you and I'm going to win at paintball. Don't be gross.

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Dean Pelton: [after Jeff shoots his office] You get it all out of your system?

Jeff Winger: [laughs] Almost.

[Pulls a paintgun from behind his back and shoots Pelton in the forehead]

Dean Pelton: What do you want from me, Jeffrey?

Jeff Winger: Guess.

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Annie Edison: Freeze Mamma-jamma!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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