"Desperate Housewives" - "Chromolume No. 7" - March 14, 2010
Mary Alice tells us that Preston is coming home and his family was wondering what kind of souvenirs he was bringing as they put the finishing touches on his welcome home decorations. Preston comes in sporting a mustache and another surprise. Porter is giggling about it. It's a hot Russian woman named Irina. They're in love. The Scavos are surprised to say the least.
Preston and Irina recount their European trip, they met on a topless beach. Lynette sends veiled barbs. Pulling her aside, Tom wants to know why she's being rude. Lynette tells Tom that she thinks Irina has an alterior motive since Preston is dating out of his league. Tom tells her to be nice. After dinner, Irina thanks them for the food. Lynette tries to be nice saying to Irina that she has beautiful boots. "300 euros" says Irina, Preston bought them for her. Lynette realized this is the emergency money she sent him. He says he'll pay them back out of his college fund. Irina is pleased that Preston is so generous and promised to take her on a shopping spree in a mall. Lynette says here in America people are willing to pay a lot for beautiful things.
Later that night getting ready for bed, Tom thinks Irina's nice, while Lynette thinks she's a golddigger. If she's right, Tom says, Irina will move on soon enough. Preston comes in and tells them he proposed to Irina and she said "yes". Both Lynette and Tom can't believe it. Lynette tells Preston to wake up to the idea that Irina is conning him. Preston is upset they think he is an idiot. Lynette says he is young, which Preston sees as idiot adjacent. Preston says that he doesn't care and he wants Nana's ring which she promised him he could have when he got married. Lynette doesn't want to give it to him. Preston says she doesn't get a say and storms out.
Lynette goes to the jeweler and tells him the story and wants him to make a cheap copy. The jeweler thinks Irina will know the difference. Lynette will hope she does and get mad and leave. "Won't her son be mad", he asks? She rubs her belly and says that's why she keeps having kids so she can replace the ones who hate her.
At dinner, Preston says Irina loved the ring and that's why she went to the jeweler to get it sized right away. Preston says Lynette will see what he sees once she gets to know Irina. Lynette hopes they soon see the same thing. Irina enters and isn't wearing the ring. Preston says Lynette made lentil soup since he said it was Irina's favorite. Irina marvels that Lynette is full of "thoughts." Irina returns the ring saying it is too precious since it is an heirloom and it feels wrong. She tells them to save it for Penny. She tells Preston he can buy a ring for her. Preston says Nana's ring is worth more than anything he can buy. She says she knows exactly what it's worth but wants to everyone, especially Lynette, to know that she is full of thoughts too.
Katherine and Susan and Mike's stories are intertwined:
Mike comes down to find Susan in a sparkly formal gown. He thinks she's overdressed for breakfast. She says it's what she'll wear when they go to Chez Naomi. He wonders why they don't stay home and eat money. She says she finally got the check from her sale of her portion of the strip club and she bought this dress so they can celebrate the fact that she also paid off his business loan off. He's mad, saying the loan was his responsibility. He says in the future to check with him. She is confused but takes out the trash so Lee and Bob can see her dress.
Katherine is lying in bed with Robin and looks dumbstruck.Susan comes over to invite Katherine shoe shopping. She says it's not a good time. Susan says she doesn't want Katherine to shut her out and she wants to get back to a time when they could tell each other anything. Robin comes down and plants one kiss on Katherine and says she'll make the coffee. Susan asks Katherine again if there's anything she wants to tell her.
Susan is telling Mike and he is confused. Katherine is a leprechaun, he asks? "A lesbian", says Susan. Mike can't believe it. Then he starts enjoying picturing it. He thinks it's weird that Katherine transitioned from him to women. Susan says he's so gentle and such a well-balanced man who is in touch with his feminine side she can see it. He say he has no feminine side. She points out his tears at "Brian's Song" and "The Notebook." He doesn't want to talk about it anymore and slams the door. MJ wonders why daddy is yelling. Susan says he may have turned a woman into a leprechaun..
Katherine goes to Bob and Lee and spills her feelings. They are both flabbergasted. Robin is out of town and Katherine wants to know if she's gay now. They ask if she enjoyed it. She says it was different. Lee says she's not, it's not a choice. Katherine wonders how it happened if she isn't. Bob explains he used to sleep with women but once he slept with a man he knew. He figures it was a one time thing. He suggests taking sex out of it and getting to know Robin and seeing if she has feelings for her. Katherine says it's a little late since they already live together. Noting the quickness of that Lee wonders if she isn't a lesbian after all.
Susan comes down and asks Mike to come to bed. He wonders if she wants him to do her hair. She says he's totally macho and manly and all she needs and to come upstairs. He says he doesn't have to go upstairs to prove he's a man. He tries to prove it right there by hoisting her on the counter and trying to take her right there but they knock over MJ's lunch and bump into the chandelier and Mike ends up falling off. Susan can't believe he's taking the Katherine thing so hard. He says it isn't that, it's that Susan paid his loan. She thinks this is a bit retro due to his pride and ego. Mike says that he grew up in a house where his father wasn't a good provider and since he'll never be rich or famous he figured he could at least take care of his family. Susan joins him on the floor and says in that case she'll cancel the check tomorrow. He thanks her.
Meanwhile, Robin returns from her trip and she caught the bouquet. She goes to kiss Katherine who pulls back. Robin wonders if they need to talk since they haven't since it happened. Katherine says Robin's a wonderful, beautiful person but she was drunk and it was a mistake and she's sorry. Robin says it's complete crap and she won't let her blame it on drunkenness. Katherine says okay, Robin knows what she's been through lately and maybe she was trying to forget that but she's not attracted to women so it doesn't count. Robin says she knows how Katherine touched her and she saw the look in Katherine's eyes when she touched her and they connected and it counted. She leans in and kisses Katherine. Katherine says "okay, it counted."
Mary Alice is telling us about the revealing of a person's true colors and Anna is screwing up a fashion shoot in New York. She is wearing a bikini and holding a shovel in front of her face. She keeps trying to show her face. The photographer points out it's for a tool calendar and mechanics aren't interested in her face. She says she didn't come to New York to do crappy jobs like this. The photographer says he came to make art films, everyone compromises. He calls for a break and Danny shows up. He tells her that Gaby broke them up. Anna thinks that's why she's being sent on crappy jobs. She quits, rudely. Danny says they have some catching up to do.
Angie goes to Gaby to get Anna's address in New York. Gaby says Anna wants nothing to do with him. She calls her to prove it and gets a message saying if this Gaby she knows what she did and she wants her to drop dead. Gaby tells Angie to hold the cab, she's coming too.
Danny goes to an apartment and knocks. An older woman opens the door and he asks if she's Rose Deluca, he thinks she's his grandma. She calls him Tyler and hugs him.
On the plane Gaby says she'll track them down through the modeling world. Angie reveals that she didn't know Gaby was a model and wonders what happened. Gaby says she wanted a different life and married Carlos. Gaby asks Angie about her life since she came from New York, but Angie avoids the question by saying that her past isn't that interesting. Gaby she says she shared so Angie shoud too. Saying she was a supermodel isn't sharing it's bragging says Angie. Gaby says it ain't if it's true.
In New York, Angie and Gaby arrive at the modeling agency and run into Heidi Klum, an old frenemy from the model days. Gaby goes to introduce Angie, but Heidi is still holding a grudge. Apparently several years ago, a bitchy Gaby taped toilet paper to the bottom of her Manolo Blahniks and laughted at her as she went down the runway. Because of that, Heidi didn't get to be on the cover of "Sports Illustrated." She stalks off. Gaby's old friend Luke, who runs the agency that Gaby sent Anna too, shows up. He wants to know what's up with Gaby's snotty niece. Luke thinks Anna has a great look but is a pain in the ass to deal with. Gaby asks where she is. He doesn't know and says Danny mentioned relatives in New York. Gaby asks if Angie if she has relatives. Angie says only one.
Angie goes to her house. She hugs her mother and her mother slaps her. They sit at the table and Rose is mad that she finally got to meet Danny/Tyler and now he has to go. Angie says she knows it's not safe in New York. Rose wants to know why since the Feds don't care about him. Angie says it's not the Feds. Rose realizes that it's Angie's old boyfriend and former partner in crime, Patrick Logan, that she's worried about. Angie says that if Patrick if he finds Tyler, he'll find her. Rose says that was 18 years ago and he doesn't care anymore about her or "Danny". She tosses Angie out.
While having dinner, Gaby leaves Anna her 17th message. Angie asks what she's going to do now. Gaby plans to cut the purse strings, ruin Anna's life, and catch a Broadway show. Then Luke walks in with supermodel Paulina Porizkova on his arm. Gaby jumps up and wants a hug. Paulina wonders why since Gaby was so mean to her in their younger days. Angie says she doesn't need to meet anymore of her friends and goes to call Nick. Gaby wonders what that was about. Luke reminds her what a pain in the ass she was to deal with back in the day and that's why her career went down in flames. She protests her career ended because Carlos asked her to marry him. He says he told her to grab that brass ring because he knew it was over for her and he knows she knew it was too or else she never would've left.
Across town, Angie goes back to her mother's house and says she has to tell her something important about Patrick, but she has to promise not to tell Danny. A neighbor notices Angie going into the house. (What do you want to bet that Danny is Patrick's son?)
Outside, Danny and Anna approach and Gaby spots them. Anna says she has nothing to say. Gaby asks to speak and Anna sends Danny inside. Anna says she knows Gaby sent her to New York to get her away from Danny. She admits this and says that Luke was doing her a favor. But it turns out that she was also doing him a favor since he said he loved Anna, except for her petulant whiny attitude. Gaby finally admits that this is what sunk her career also and wants Anna to turn it around and start acting like a professional.
Danny enters and says he knows his mother is trying to protect him but his grandmother wants him to stay. Rose says, in fact, she doesn't and his mother knows best. Rose says they have a relationship now and can talk all the time but as long as he's at her house, neither one of them is safe.
Gaby waits by a taxi as Angie says goodbye to her mom and Anna says goodbye to Danny. The neighbor comes over to ask who that woman talking to Rose is. Gaby says it's her daughter. The neighbor hasn't seen her in years and wonders where she lives. Gaby says Fairview.
On the plane back to Fairview, Angie offers Danny an extra pillow. He heads for extra seats in the back instead. Gaby asks how she is. Angie says she's tired. Gaby says she learned something on this trip and she's going to start working on herself and she's going to start with Angie. Gaby tells Angie that she knows she has a secret and Gaby wants to be let in on it since Angie's carried around secrets and knows how lonely it can feel so if Angie needs a friend. Angie spills: when she was 18, she wanted to save the planet and she organized protests against logging companies and big oil, etc. But then she got involved with a bad guy, (Patrick Logan), and he convinced her to get more aggressive. Long story short: "someone got killed" says Angie, and refuses to go further then that. Gaby asks if Nick is the bad guy. Angie says no, he's the one who helped her run away. Gaby asks who the psycho ex-boyfriend is. "Danny's father", says Angie.
Bree and Sam's Story:
Back in Fairview, Sam is giving Bree ideas for a new cookbook. He leaves as Andrew arrives and Andrew is not happy and mocks him for brown-nosing to Bree. She calls him a hard worker and says she's giving him a promotion to vice president. Andrew says he's vice president. She says there's plenty of work to go around. She says she's doing what's best for both of them. Andrew cyncially tells her to remember that sentence since she'll be hearing it the day he puts her in a nursing home.
Bree announces to her heretofore unseen staff of three that she is promoting Sam. They clap. Andrew enters. As Sam starts talking about how he wants to make the company better. Andrew starts with the slow clap of derision and it turns out he's drunk, in the middle of the day. Bree is aghast. Sam tries to get him to leave. Andrew pushes him to the ground. Bree asks if he's alright. He is but will be taking the rest of the day off. Andrew says this proves he is a slacker.
Bree goes to give Sam an "I'm Sorry" basket. She thinks she's at the wrong apartment/trailer complex but a man watering the grass says she's got the right place and to go ahead and put the basket inside since Sam's door is open. She goes in and drops the basket and looks around a bit. She notices a bunch of family photos on the wall and beams until she sees one of a young Sam with Rex van de Camp. Sam enters and is suprised to find Bree there. She asks Sam why he has a picture of her ex-husband. Sam drops the bomb: Rex was his father. Bree is confused and Sam says this isn't how he wanted her to find out. Distraught, Bree leaves with the photo. Sam calls after her to stop for he can explain.
Back at the Hodge house, Orson notes that Sam is still waiting outside their house and Bree should talk to him. Orson points out that being age 26, Sam was born before Bree and Rex got married. Bree says that's not the point for Rex had a secret life. Orson says to be mad at Rex not Sam. Bree is angry that Sam showed up to work for her and didn't reveal who he was. She wonders what he wants. Orson says to ask him.
Bree goes outside to Sam who explains that Rex and his mother met at a bar. They had a one night stand and Rex didn't hear from her again until she called to say she was pregnant. Rex had just met Bree and said he was in love but offered financial support. Sam's mom turned this down. Rex did visit a few times until Sam's mother asked him to stop because it was too hard on him. Bree wonders if Sam saw him again. He said he saw them all from the curb, when he ride by their house. He often wondered why Rex would choose all of them over him and he figured it out, they were all perfect. Sam's mother died six months ago and he decided he needed to meet Bree. Bree asks him why he wasn't honest and Sam says he wanted her to like him and he wasn't sure she would. She says he looks cold and invites him in for a hot chocolate and more talk. She hugs him. Andrew watches enviously from the window.
Epilogue. Mary Alice returns to talk about people hiding their true nature as we see Susan appreciate Mike as he refinishes a chair; Irina show off her new bling to a happy Scavo family, except Lynette; Bree giving hot chocolate to Sam; and Rose's New York neighbor calling Patrick Logan to inform on Angie, for a $1,000 reward.