How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Rabbit or Duck (2010)
Cobie Smulders: Robin Scherbatsky
Photos
Quotes
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Robin Scherbatsky : So that settles it. Don's a rabbit.
Ted Mosby : I wouldn't be too sure. Don... Donald... Donald Duck? And what, I wonder, does Donald Duck never wear?
Lily Aldrin : Pants!
Ted Mosby : Pants. Don's a duck. Requesting permission to lawyered.
Marshall Eriksen : I'll allow it.
Ted Mosby : Lawyered!
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Marshall Eriksen : I mean, look, when you first met Don, you hated him, you thought "This guy's a duck", but one of these days you're gonna realize "This is actually someone that I love, he's a rabbit".
Ted Mosby : Wow I think you got it backwards there, buddy. The duck is the thing you love, the rabbit is the thing you hate.
Marshall Eriksen : What?
Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah I got to agree. Duck's up, rabbit down.
Lily Aldrin : Definitely. Ducks are better than rabbits.
Marshall Eriksen : I got... ducks are... ducks are... rabbits are adorable. Ducks are aargh. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? I mean, ducks are... jerks.
Narrator : This lead to one of the most intense arguments our group has ever had.
[Flash forward, everyone is yelling]
Ted Mosby : Duck is delicious. Rabbit is all gamey.
Marshall Eriksen : We're not talking about flavour, Ted!
Ted Mosby : Flavour counts!
[Flash forward, yelling]
Marshall Eriksen : Who carries a duck's foot for good luck? Anyone?
Robin Scherbatsky : [Flash forward, yelling] You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I wrap myself in one stuffed with duck feathers. Who's cosier? No, no, no, no, no, no... who's cosier?
Ted Mosby : [Flash forward] Hold on, I've got to get another book.
Ted Mosby : [Flash forward] Then why don't we take, a rabbit, a duck, stick 'em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out?
Marshall Eriksen : Because it's illegal, Ted!
Ted Mosby : Only if we bet on it, Marshall!
Marshall Eriksen : [Flash forward] FINE! I CAN SEE IT! YOU WIN!
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Ted Mosby : [gesturing to Robin's pint glass] That beer looks a little flat.
Robin Scherbatsky : It's Scotch.
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Narrator : Kids, I remember one time we all gathered at my apartment to watch the Superbowl. Well, not all of us...
[Cut to Barney at the stadium holding a sign]
Phil Simms : Welcome back to Superbowl XLIV in Miami. Get a load of that guy! You think that's his real number?
Ted Mosby : Well, that explains where Barney is.
Robin Scherbatsky : Dibs on his wings!
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Marshall Eriksen : Well, dog my cats! I think I know what's going on here. Robin... did you WANT Don to ask out?
Robin Scherbatsky : Whaaat?
[In a high voice; huffs]
Robin Scherbatsky : Nooo, I HATE Don! I-I-I can't stop thinking how much I hate him, it's like, it's like... all the time. I just wanna attack him and rip his stupid clothes off and spank him with his little paddle until his bum's all red. SHUT UP!
[Leaves the table]