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Greystone Park
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Reviews & Ratings for
Greystone Park More at IMDbPro »

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31 out of 38 people found the following review useful:

Awful

1/10
Author: taruv88
31 August 2012

This will sound harsh but "Greystone Park" (or "The Asylum Tapes" if you're outside the US) is comfortably among the worst movies I have ever seen.

No real plot, no thrills, no frights, no nothing.

Bad acting (I mean really, really bad), bad sound, bad camera work and even worse editing. I fully appreciate that the film is supposed to be a "found tapes" film - but that is no excuse to produce a 90+ minute film of which most of it you can't actually see what's going on. Adding loud bangs to the footage you can't see doesn't scare anybody above the age of four - not in the year 2012 anyway.

Sean Stone's father Oliver is a talented movie maker and one of the more important directors of the 20th century. This piece of garbage might be Stone Jr's first, last and only contribution to the annals of cinematic history.

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29 out of 40 people found the following review useful:

One word. Nothing

1/10
Author: spook-19 from United Arab Emirates
25 July 2012

I am an aspiring filmmaker and a fan of 'found footage' films such as 'Chronicle, Cloverfield and The Blair Witch Project'. I went to see this film in Dubai with zero or no expectations at all having not heard any negative or positive reviews.

If I were to give the review in a nutshell, it would be "Nothing". The film makers dwell in to a mental hospital with a hand-held shaky cam trying to film the supernatural in the supposed 'Haunted Hospital'. What we are shown during the length of the film are poorly lit and edited clips coupled with awful sound bytes that do nothing for the film.

I wish Sean Stone the best of luck for the future but in my opinion, this film should have been a short 20 minute submission to perhaps an indie film festival.

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29 out of 40 people found the following review useful:

Only For Die-Hard Fans of Shaky, Hand-held Camera-work Style of Horror Movies

1/10
Author: Kaya Ozkaracalar from Istanbul, Turkey
15 July 2012

I tend to try to find something to enjoy and appreciate in every single horror movie I watch no matter how mediocre it may be and yet I found this obscure film to be very boring most of the time and very frustrating when not boring. It has a somewhat interesting premise, director Sean Stone plays the lead character named Sean and the other cast members also play characters named after themselves; in other words, they all seem to play themselves. Even Oliver Stone also appears as Oliver, Sean's father. The movie starts with a dinner talk about ghosts and then three youths set out to explore an abandoned insane asylum and film their exploit. For about an hour, basically nothing worthwhile happens as they walk around inside the asylum. The setting is actually quite wonderful in itself and yet it simply serves the function of being a background for the three characters to argue among themselves, the line "let's get the hell out of here" is uttered periodically! Some false and some real scares occur in the last 20 minutes or so and yet they are quite mild.

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15 out of 17 people found the following review useful:

Possibly one of the worst things I've ever seen

1/10
Author: Alan Hardman
10 September 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I had to give a 1 because of IMDb but seriously, this movie shouldn't even have that, everything about this movie could have made it a great one, but sadly the idiot who wrote it (sean stone) didn't seem to either understand how to make a decent horror movie, or it was constantly played for $h!its and giggles, which it failed at-abysmally. When watching I constantly got the feel that it was supposed to be the "spirits" or whatever it was, was attempting to drive them insane, and if the movie had been played like that, the whole spiritual power thing was both messing with their minds and the camera as a sort of "its trying to drag the audience in as well" that would have worked out perfectly well, especially with the scenes at the end with 'crazy Kate' (again, as portrayed, doesn't make sense) but we're just supposed to believe that a story told to them at the start just happened to appear at the end? No, it doesn't work like that in storytelling, even if its supposed to be 'inspired by real events' it wouldn't work like that. Ah, getting off topic, this thing just feels draining, you don't like the characters and it never pays off with creepy moments or jump scares, so when you've had the built up feeling of adrenaline in your system flow out of you, you'll feel tired and bored, is that what you want in a movie experience? I just wish people wouldn't make things like this, its insulting, tired, lazy and trotted out, but most of all - a complete waste of money that you could spend on anything else to give you a better experience than this movie will give you.

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19 out of 25 people found the following review useful:

Why, why, why

1/10
Author: cygnusx175 from United States
9 September 2012

I'd call this "movie" crap, but its closer to the twice baked crap you get from crap eating flies. The "movie" starts out slow and gets even slower.The dialogue in this film goes nowhere and explains nothing and jumps from stupid to lame.If you want to get a headache and or have those wonderful seizures Hollywood insists on inflicting upon moviegoers nowadays, watch this film. If you like it when the film is a first person shooter viewpoint, in a darkened asylum, interspersed with a faulty camera, then this movie is for you. There is no real ending to this film. We are left clueless as to the fate of many of the characters. OK wait, maybe the ending of Mr Stone smiling at the camera, with a look that says, "You viewers thought this was going to be good didn't you? Suckers! Cha-ching" In conclusion, I've heard it said that if you have ghosts in your home, then play this on a continuous loop, because ghosties wont even hang in a room with this film playing, it's insulting to any self respecting ghost.

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13 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

Dull boring and annoying characters...in darkness!

2/10
Author: Spookysaur from United Kingdom
11 September 2012

I am afraid to say, that although I watched the film this evening, my brain found it hard to comprehend the dullness that was thrust upon it, and so images of the film are already leaking away as I type this so sorry for lack of info. I am a huge fan of found footage films, which is the reason I got this. I was hoping for at least Grave Encounters level of film but instead got college student attempt at horror film... My main problems with this film is that nothing much happens, they keep shouting at each other over naff all, and you can't see a bloody thing a lot of the time! I paid 8 quid to look at darkness while people shout. I could get the same effect by hiding in an alley at night and occasionally jumping out at people while screaming boo, for free! I am being rather nice with a 2, but if I gave it a 1 I would feel even more depressed about paying the amount I did for it...

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17 out of 24 people found the following review useful:

The worst film ever

1/10
Author: Saiph90 from United Kingdom
2 September 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is the winner, the worst film I have seen on Sky, I have had more horror, suspense when choosing between a pastie and a sausage roll at Greggs. Appalling 'film', I could go to a disused building with my mobile phone camera and recreate this rubbish. In the UK it masquerades as The Asylum Tapes, if I made a film this bad I would change my name as well, I am stunned that this cost over 3 million, the catering on set must have been world class. So what is the film about, well some people go to an abandoned asylum with the compulsory, 'found footage' has this idea been absolutely flogged to death, people run around in the dark, most of the footage you can barely make out. The dialogue is incomprehensible, and then the film ends. Please, please avoid.

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7 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

This Movie Hates You

1/10
Author: peach_hat from United States
12 May 2013

I wish I could vote this movie zero. I wish I could go a step further and vote it into the negatives. The only problem there would remain that there aren't enough negative numbers to properly describe how bad this movie is. It's not scary, it's not artsy, it's not smart. It just hates you.

This movie hates you.

Got epilepsy? Have problems with vertigo? Are you a human being with eyeballs? This movie hates you.

The 'found footage' aspect of it was done in the worst way possible. And this is a pretty terrible aspect to start with. But when someone in the background is saying fervently, "See this? Oh man oh...oh my jeez man look at this!" and all I'm seeing is black and some flashes of unbearably bright light right in my eyeballs while the camera spins drunkenly around so badly I'm wondering if they didn't strap it to a cat on Ecstasy, kick the poor beast into traffic and say "Cut, print, beautiful!"? AWFUL.

Jesus, even in the simple walking-around scenes I was praying that they'd hold the goddamn camera still for half a second so I could empty the puke bucket. I had to close my eyes for a good ten minutes and try to follow the narrative by sound cues just so I didn't hurl my sandwich onto the carpet.

Which brings up the near total lack of narrative. I'm not going to spoil anything, because there's nothing -to- spoil. Hack film-makers with hack writers cooked up a half-baked concept with a bunch of meaningless 'twists' that M. Night Shyamalanadingdong would be embarrassed by that don't mean anything and looks like barfed up cat food on film.

Fellow Horror fans...do NOT watch this movie. This movie hates you. Because that's the only conceivable excuse I can think of for it even to exist.

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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

'Found footage' which should have stayed lost.

1/10
Author: wadechurton from New Zealand
9 February 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

It has been said before, but there comes a moment in everyone's personal 'mapping out' of a genre when one has to put their foot down and say 'here be the bad stuff'. Note the curious non-found footage intro bit with the director's more famous dad Oliver talking around a full dinner table and languidly huffing pot. Eh? Anyway, three unlikeable ADD-afflicted idiots (they can't keep a torch trained on something for less than a split second) break into a 'haunted' asylum to look for ghosts. Here's the sort of incomprehensible, tedious item full of improbably filmed content in conditions of poor visual clarity (honestly, this movie has the worst lighting I have ever seen) which gives the 'found footage' genre a bad name. Camera and torches flick and dart in non-stop headache-inducing spurts, rarely synchronising for longer than a second or so, and of course if we had a video camera and there was a serial killer or vengeful spirit (or both, as seems to be the case here) on our tail, we would take care to do our 'panicked running' with the camera carefully pointing ahead. And so it goes, until the thoroughly mystifying finale, which although frustratingly unsatisfying, nevertheless brings a welcome 'cool side of the pillow' relief that the ordeal is over. Over for the viewer, that is.

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3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Glad I only paid a dollar to rent this...

1/10
Author: Adreanna Halapia from United States
20 January 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Normally, I wouldn't write a bad review (I try to be a nice person) but this needed a warning label for others planning to watch. Honestly, I do NOT like "found footage" movies, they're annoying and hard to focus on. When I rented this, I had no clue that's what it was but when I popped it in to the player, I decided to give it a chance anyhow. Bad move. In the beginning, the guy used night vision to see in the cemetery and, as the inside of the building became darker, I began to wonder why they weren't using it in there? I understand effect and all but, really, there comes a point where watching a black screen with nothing but screaming and breathing is just...pathetic. The effect where they distort the camera when something just slightly good is happening (and by good I mean the characters getting attacked) just kept pissing me off. There were a few scenes, I will not specify, where I felt it had been ripped off from other movies. In the end, I shut this off and sat in place just plain confused. So, I was wondering, can anybody tell me what happened? Summary: Bad acting, bad filming, BAD MOVIE. I'm glad I only had to pay a dollar to rent this.

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