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Julie: I actually miss him.

Nora: You... you miss... him...

Julie: I know, I'm so stupid.

Nora: Like... like you're attracted to him...

Julie: No, I don't...

Nora: Like... he could be your boyfriend? Your zombie... zombie boyfriend?

[pause]

Nora: I mean, I know it's really hard to meet guys right now, with the apocalypse and stuff. Trust me. And like I know that you miss Perry. But Julie, this is just weird. Like, I wish the internet was still working so I could just look up what whatever it is that's wrong with you.

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M: Now you're supposed to say that I'm pretty too.

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Kevin: Hey.

R: [voice-over] Say something human. Say something human.

R: How... are... you...?

R: [voice-over] Nailed it.

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[first lines]

R: [voice-over] What am I doing with my life? I'm so pale. I should get out more. I should eat better. My posture is terrible. I should stand up straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people? Oh, right, it's because I'm dead. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I mean, we're all dead. This girl is dead. That guy is dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. Jesus these guys look awful.

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R: [voice-over] They call these guys Bonies. They don't bother us much, but they'll eat anything with a heartbeat. I mean, I will too, but at least I'm conflicted about it.

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R: [voice-over] Don't be creepy. Don't be creepy. Don't be creepy.

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[last lines]

Julie: Do you remember your name yet?

R: No.

Julie: Well, you know, you could just give yourself one. Just pick one. Whatever you want.

R: I like R.

Julie: Really? You don't want to know what it was? You don't want your old life back?

R: No. I want this one.

Julie: Just R, huh?

R: Just R.

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Julie: What are you?

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[Zombies moan in agreement]

M: They say... Fuck, yeah!

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M: Are you okay?

R: No.

M: Bitches, man.

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Perry: [R rushes towards Julie before Perry shoots him in the chest] Smile mother...

[R pulls Perry's legs out from under him and prepares to bite into his arm]

R: [voice-over] Nice watch.

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Solder #2: We're seeing corpses fighting skeletons, sir.

Soldier #4: Copy that, we're seeing that over here too.

Grigio: Sorry, can you repeat that?

Solder #2: Copy that, we're seeing corpses fighting skeletons, sir.

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R: [voice-over] So much for dreaming. You can't be whatever you want. All I'll ever be is a slow, pale, hunched-over, dead-eyed zombie. What did I think was gonna happen? That she'd actually want to stay with me? It's hopeless. This is what I get for wanting more. I should just be happy with what I had. Things don't change. I need to accept that. It's easier not to feel. Then I wouldn't have to feel like this.

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R: [voice-over] I wish I could introduce myself, but I don't remember my name anymore. I mean, I think it started with an 'r' but that's all I have left. I can't remember my name, or my parents, or my job... although my hoodie would suggest I was unemployed.

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R: [voice-over, introducing M] This is my best friend. By best friend, I mean we occasionally grunt and stare awkwardly at each other. We even have almost conversations sometimes.

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R: [voice-over] Even though we can't communicate, we do share a similar taste in food. Traveling in packs just kind of makes sense. Especially when everyone and their grandmother is trying to shoot you in the head all the time.

[pause]

R: [voice-over] God we move slow. This could take a while.

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R: [voice-over] This date is not going well. I want to die all over again.

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Nora: [seeing R] Oh my God! Is that him?

Julie: Yeah...

[R waves to Nora]

Nora: [waving back] Sup?

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Julie: What's with all the vinyl? Couldn't figure out how to work an iPod?

R: Better... sound.

Julie: Oh, you're a purist, huh?

R: More... alive.

Julie: Yep, that's true. A lot more trouble, though.

[R shrugs]

Julie: There you go again. Shrugging! Stop... shrugging, shrugger. It's a very noncommittal gesture.

[R shrugs again]

Julie: Really?

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M: [after R stops him from eating Julie] What?

R: Julie.

M: Living. Eat.

[R shakes his head]

M: [nodding] Eat.

[R doesn't back down]

M: [angrily] Eat!

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M: Want... to help.

Julie: Who the hell asked you?

M: [to R] Like her.

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Perry: What the hell are you doing here? Are you actually dreaming right now?

R: I'm not sure.

Perry: You can't dream, corpse. Dreaming's for humans.

Julie: Chill out, Perry. He can dream if he wants to.

[Julie approaches R]

Julie: What about you, R? What do you want to be?

R: I don't know. I don't even know what I am.

Julie: Well you can be whatever you want. Isn't that what they say?

R: We can, right? You and me?

[Julie nods]

Perry: It's not gonna happen, lover boy. Not after you told her you ate her ex.

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R: Wait here.

M: [quietly] Be careful. Ok?

[R nods and starts to walk away]

M: [loudly] So I'll wait here!

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R: [voice-over] I don't wanna be this way. I'm lonely. I'm totally lost. I mean, I'm literally lost. I've never been in this part of the airport before.

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[repeated line]

R: Not safe.

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R: Stop staring! You're acting weird again.

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[repeated line]

R: Say something human.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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