Shameless (2011– )
Mickey Milkovich: Alright shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I'm calling and you not picking up! I'm starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back, Ian! I'm worried about you. I love you. Call me back.
Lip Gallagher: I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you!
Carl Gallagher: [to Sammi] You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch!
Frank Gallagher: I'd be crying right now if I wasn't so high.
Carl Gallagher: [about constantly getting in trouble at school] A shrink at school says I'm one of God's mistakes.
Fiona Gallagher: What if he shows remorse?
Carl Gallagher: What's that?
Fiona Gallagher: It means you say you're sorry!
Carl Gallagher: [smirks] I'm not.
Steve: And what exactly does "hooked up" mean?
Kevin Ball: Last time I checked, penis goes into vagina.
Lip Gallagher: I'm not my dad. You hear me? I'm not my fucking dad!
Frank Gallagher: [shouting while walking around the Chicago waterfront and drinking a beer] I'M *ALIVE,* MOTHERFUCKER!
Kevin Ball: [to Veronica when she's about to give birth] Baby, you know what this means, right? I got a magic dick!
Veronica Fisher: [to Fiona] So is Lip getting serious about Mandy Skankovich?
Lip Gallagher: Facts cannot be racist. Many Irish are drunks. Many French smell. Most Chinese hate children, that's why they sell them to Americans.
Sheila Jackson: They're having a party for kids across the street. No booze.
Frank Gallagher: [smiles] What's the point?
Debbie Gallagher: That's right. NO ONE FUCKS WITH A GALLAGHER!
Kevin Ball: [to Veronica] I thought that's what you ladies wanted. A shared housework, wage equality and all that Hunger Games, Lady Gaga girl power shit!
Fiona Gallagher: Did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night?
Frank Gallagher: [about his alcohol addiction] I can't handle anything up my ass without alcohol!
Veronica Fisher: [while giving birth] OB? I need to make an appointment with a vet. I'm havin' a damn litter!