Dr. Prunesquallor: Have a heart and swim away. We are so tired of the sight of your abdomen.
Steerpike: Forgive its magnetism.
Barquentine: Nine days! Nine days, no ceremony, no obeisance, no authority! No daily rite and passage. No heart pumping the blood of rule. We are disrupted. His Lordship is gone. Long live His Lordship.
Lady Gertrude: What did you say?
Lady Fuchsia: Titus?
Lady Gertrude: Titus is barely a year.
Barquentine: Long may he live. We shall prepare the earling for next Thursday. The longest day, it is propitious.
Lady Gertrude: Barquentine!
Barquentine: An earling, Your Ladyship. There is much to be done.
Lady Gertrude: [pause] Lord Groan?
Barquentine: He's gone. History.
Lord Groan: As I say, Master Secretary, this day two months hence - my lady, the bird - I say - Nurse, the child - I want a breakfast for him, it's that simple. He is my son, isn't he?
Barquentine: Nothing! Nothing! Have you never seen a fork before? It goes here, here! How can I be expected to lay the table for a feast that isn't even in the damned book! Huh? And will the ass come? Having put us to all this, will he come? Thinks he's a bird! Woo! Woo! You can button your lip, asswipe! Anything I say here is not for repetition by you! Do you understand? Damned breakfast!
Barquentine: Searched nine days! and not one has ever gone missing. They die, abdicate, go mad, take up arms, kill each other, eat their children, mutilate themselves, split, shrink, decompose, but never, never disappear!
Barquentine: Oh don't try and rook me, Sneershite! I see through you, bones and brain! Your master is the doctor! Doubtless he'll be pleased. No more here and there. Here by me. Do you understand? I'm now your master.
Steerpike: Your throats are white and long for strangling! Sisters of a brother sent mad by burning! You shall hang, you shall hang!