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G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) Poster

Quotes

Roadblock: In the immortal words of Jay-Z: "Whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don't let me die tonight. But if I shall before I wake, I'd accept my fate."

Joe Colton: You alright?

Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?

Joe Colton: My cholesterol's a little high.

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Captain Duke Hauser: Drive it like you stole it!

Roadblock: As your good friend, you need a new catchphrase.

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Captain Duke Hauser: Anyone ever tell you, you fight ugly?

Roadblock: Not from their backs, they don't.

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Roadblock: That's on the rise. Like your panties.

Captain Duke Hauser: You love my panties.

[pause]

Roadblock: That's an interesting choice of a joke. Of all the things you could say...

Captain Duke Hauser: Alright, okay, I'm just saying...

Roadblock: You love my panties?

Captain Duke Hauser: Are you going to shut up?

Roadblock: What does that mean?

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Roadblock: [to Snake Eyes, after planning to take down Cobra Commander] Snake Eyes, how's all of that sound?

[Snake Eyes is silent]

Roadblock: That's what I thought.

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Joe Colton: [offering his minitank] It idles a little rough in neutral.

Roadblock: I ain't gonna be in neutral.

Joe Colton: Hoo-ah.

Roadblock: What about you?

Joe Colton: DOD says I can't come out of retirement. They didn't say anything about reenlisting.

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Roadblock: [seeing Mouse is nervous] My first drop, I popped a live round into my mouth. It keeps your teeth from chattering. Give it a shot.

[gives him a bullet, which he puts into his mouth]

Mouse: Delicious.

Roadblock: Attaboy.

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Roadblock: I came here when I was fourteen, with a life expectancy of thirteen. I was bounced around from home to home until this... became my home. Guys would line up outside that door to fight me. They whooped my skinny ass so much I started to enjoy it. Until one winter, I grew eight inches, gained sixty pounds, punched a guy so hard he couldn't move his arm to tap out. Then when the Joes came recruiting to the hood, I'd already beaten down half of it. I became a Joe to serve. In the field. So if we're fighting uphill, we take the hill.

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Flint: We have to assume that there's no one we could trust.

Roadblock: There is one man. He's the reason we call ourselves Joes.

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Zartan: You know, they call it a waterboard... but I never get bored!

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Roadblock: Damn ninjas.

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[last lines]

Roadblock: Where can we find you, general?

Joe Colton: Just need my orders.

Roadblock: You know we'd make a hell of a team.

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Firefly: Making more things go boom before 9 am. than most people do all day.

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Lady Jaye: My dad could see me now...

Flint: What are you talking about?

Lady Jaye: He wouldn't believe it.

Flint: Why?

Lady Jaye: Third generation military. He desperately wanted a fourth. And my mom had me.

Flint: Well he must be really proud of you then.

Lady Jaye: He didn't believe in female soldiers. I finally asked him why. He said he didn't want to put his life in the hands of a woman. I enlisted the next day. Spent the next seven years trying to outrank him so he'd have to salute me.

Flint: Did it work?

Lady Jaye: He died before I got the chance.

Flint: I'm sorry.

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Roadblock: General.

Joe Colton: Call me Joe.

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Zartan: [greeting Cobra Commander] Cool mask!

Cobra Commander: Someone took his time.

Zartan: Not easy to sneak out of that big, white, 11-bedroom, 35-and-a-half bath...

Cobra Commander: [interrupts] Just don't forget who put you there.

Firefly: Or the rock you crawled out from.

Zartan: Firefly, it's good to see we're not running low on crazy.

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Zartan: Where's the prison that holds Cobra Commander and Destro?

President: Is this where I ask you what you have planned?

Zartan: Why does anyone want to be president? Everybody wants to rule the world.

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Zartan: You know, they say this is a thankless job. But yesterday, I hung out with Bono. My new secret service; they want to burn the constitution. Literally. Do you know my favorite bit? I get to blow stuff up.

President: I bet that endears you to the people.

Zartan: Well, that's the thing. Your approval ratings climbed nine points. Apparently, America wants someone who looks like you but acts like me.

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Warden Nigel James: Snake Eyes. Last place I thought I'd see you. Warden James. It's a pleasure. I'm a very big fan. I love the black. It's very Johnny Cash.

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Joe Colton: It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?

Flint: Well how come when the general says it, it sounds crazy?

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Firefly: [beating Roadblock] I want to see that face. The one where you realize today's the day. It's the face all those pretty little Joes had in the desert when I lit them all up like fireworks!

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Firefly: [after punching the president] That was for the tax high.

Zartan: Like you pay taxes.

Firefly: Ain't always about me.

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Joe Colton: [sneaking up behind the Joes] I'll take two boxes of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks. Lower your weapons.

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Cobra Commander: [after escaping from the prison, Storm Shadow's back is badly burnt from the explosion] Take him to the mountains to heal. I'll need him for the war I'm about to start.

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[from trailer]

Roadblock: Let's move! The world ain't saving itself!

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Zartan: Well the good news is no global warming summit next month. Unless one of us cares enough about his place in history to unilaterally disable his warheads. You know, in the name of the children.

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[first lines]

Lady Jaye: Hustle up guys. You've got to get that defector and get the hell out of there. No delays.

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Zartan: On my orders, the covert special forces unit, codenamed Cobra, terminated with extreme prejudice Joe command, facilities, personnel. The GI Joes... are no more.

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Warden Nigel James: Listen to me. I sound like a real estate agent. I'm not here to sell you anything. Except maybe hopelessness.

[laughs]

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Cobra Commander: Destro... you're out of the band.

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French Leader: You will have to answer for this... to your Congress... your courts.

Cobra Commander: Correction: *They* will have to answer to *me*.

Indian Leader: What is it you want?

Cobra Commander: I want it all!

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Cobra Commander: The Cobra revolution has begun. By pressing that button, Zartan initiated an auto-drop sequence. My Zeus satellites are moving into position over your six remaining countries. The same button that begins this can end it. But I only press it for a price: total allegiance.

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Flint: [watches as Cobra Commander escapes by helicopter] Block, Cobra Commander's bugging out. No sign of Firefly.

Roadblock: [watches Firefly coming] I've got him.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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