G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)
Roadblock: In the immortal words of Jay-Z: "Whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don't let me die tonight. But if I shall before I wake, I'd accept my fate."
Joe Colton: You alright?
Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?
Joe Colton: My cholesterol's a little high.
Firefly: Making more things go boom before 9 am. than most people do all day.
President: Is this where I ask you what you have planned?
Zartan: Why does anyone want to be president? Everybody wants to rule the world.
Captain Duke Hauser: Anyone ever tell you, you fight ugly?
Roadblock: Not from their backs, they don't.
Roadblock: [seeing Mouse is nervous] My first drop, I popped a live round into my mouth. It keeps your teeth from chattering. Give it a shot.
[gives him a bullet, which he puts into his mouth]
Roadblock: That's on the rise. Like your panties.
Captain Duke Hauser: You love my panties.
Roadblock: That's an interesting choice of a joke. Of all the things you could say...
Captain Duke Hauser: Alright, ok, I'm just saying...
Roadblock: You love my panties?
Captain Duke Hauser: Are you going to shut up?
Roadblock: What does that mean?
Zartan: You know, they say this is a thankless job. But yesterday, I hung out with Bono. My new secret service; they want to burn the constitution. Literally. Do you know my favorite bit? I get to blow stuff up.
President: I bet that endears you to the people.
Zartan: Well, that's the thing. Your approval ratings climbed nine points. Apparently, America wants someone who looks like you but acts like me.
Zartan: You know, they call it a waterboard... but I never get bored!
Firefly: [beating Roadblock] I want to see that face. The one where you realize today's the day. It's the face all those pretty little Joes had in the desert when I lit them all up like fireworks!
Firefly: [after punching the president] That was for the tax high.
Zartan: Like you pay taxes.
Firefly: Ain't always about me.
Roadblock: [to Snake Eyes, after planning to take down Cobra Commander] Snake Eyes, how's all of that sound?
[Snake Eyes is silent]
Roadblock: That's what I thought.
Zartan: Firefly - good to see we're not running low on crazy.
Roadblock: Let's move! The world ain't saving itself!
Flint: We have to assume that there's no one we could trust.
Roadblock: There is one man. He's the reason we call ourselves Joes.
Captain Duke Hauser: Drive it like you stole it!
Roadblock: As your good friend, you need a new catchphrase.
Zartan: Well the good news is no global warming summit next month.
Lady Jaye: Hustle up guys. You've got to get that defector and get the hell out of there. No delays.
Zartan: On my orders, the covert special forces unit, codenamed Cobra, terminated with extreme prejudice Joe command, facilities, personnel. The GI Joes... are no more.
Warden Nigel James: Snake Eyes. Last place I thought I'd see you. Warden James. It's a pleasure. I'm a very big fan. I love the black. It's very Johnny Cash.
Warden Nigel James: Listen to me. I sound like a real estate agent. I'm not here to sell you anything. Except maybe hopelessness.
Roadblock: I came here when I was fourteen, with a life expectancy of thirteen. I was bounced around from home to home until this... became my home. Guys would line up outside that door to fight me. They whooped my skinny ass so much I started to enjoy it. Until one winter, I grew eight inches, gained sixty pounds, punched a guy so hard he couldn't move his arm to tap out. Then when the Joes came recruiting to the hood, I'd already beaten down half of it. I became a Joe to serve. In the field. So if we're fighting uphill, we take the hill.
Joe Colton: It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?
Flint: Well how come when the general says it, it sounds crazy?
Roadblock: Where can we find you, general?
Joe Colton: Just need my orders.
Roadblock: You know we'd make a hell of a team.
Joe Colton: [sneaking up behind the Joes] I'll take two boxes of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks. Lower your weapons.
Joe Colton: [offering his car] It idles a little rough in neutral.
Roadblock: I ain't gonna be in neutral.
Joe Colton: Hoo-rah.
Roadblock: What about you?
Joe Colton: DOD says I can't come out of retirement. They didn't say anything about reenlisting.
French Leader: You will have to answer for this... to your Congress... your courts.
Cobra Commander: Correction: *They* will have to answer to *me*.
Indian Leader: What is it you want?
Cobra Commander: I want it all!
Lady Jaye: My dad could see me now...
Flint: What are you talking about?
Lady Jaye: You wouldn't believe it.
Lady Jaye: Third generation military. He desperately wanted a fourth. My mom had me.
Flint: Well he must be really proud of you then.
Lady Jaye: He didn't believe in female soldiers. I finally asked him why. He said he didn't want to put his life in the hands of a woman. I enlisted the next day. Spent the next seven years trying to outrank him so he'd have to salute me.
Flint: Did it work?
Lady Jaye: He died before I got the chance.
Flint: I'm sorry.