Lamar: I told you how to avoid divorce lawyers. You get married, and you stay married.
Dr. Matsutani: They call them smart phones, but only dummies use them in my class.
Dr. Matsutani: This is college, there's only two things you can't do: smoke in the building and use your phone in my class.
Mercedes Tainot: I'm divorcing a professor-turned-writer-turned-blogger with the libido of a 13 year-old and two published books to his credit.
Mercedes Tainot: Larry, you're a great student. I'm not an easy A.
Dean Tainot: You know, I know what really pisses you off. What is really pissing you off is that I like big knockers and you don't have any!
Alvarez: Hey - we all got free tattoos. I wanted something in Japanese so check this out.
Alvarez: That one says courage, that one says spirit. Courageous spirit.
Larry Crowne: That's Chinese, and it says soy sauce.
Dr. Matsutani: When Dr. Matsutani is scolding Larry Crowne he refers to his cellphone as "his device," a term used in Star Trek to describe their communicators.