Archer (TV Series)

Diversity Hire (2010)

Coby Bell: Conway Stern

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Archer and Conway are clinched, naked. After they separate, Archer looks down] 

  Conway Stern : What, you, uh, you see something you like?

  Sterling Archer : Wh- no, you... queer.

  Conway Stern : [laughs]  Oh, *I'm* queer? From the guy whose tiny gun came with a matching purse.

  Sterling Archer : Hey, it's got plenty of stopping power.

  Brett : Hah! That little...

  [Archer shoots Brett] 

  Conway Stern : Oh shit!

  Brett : God damn it, Archer!

  Sterling Archer : See that?

  Brett : Again!

  Sterling Archer : He was putting on his pants, and I stopped him. So you just watch your step, mister... damn it.

  Conway Stern : Hey, right there, what you should have gone with was "Sammy Gay-vis Jr."

  Sterling Archer : Damn it!

• Cheryl : [post-coital]  Conway! That was amazing!

  Conway Stern : Yeah, so uh... okay...

  [he leaves] 

  Cheryl : [to herself]  Oh my God, I hope I'm pregnant!

• Conway Stern : I've tracked him to South Beach, where he's arranged to sell the plans to Cuban naval intelligence. If that happens, undetectable Cuban missile subs could be parked off Miami Beach.

  Malory Archer : Ugh! Just what Miami needs, more Cubans.

• Fat Drone #1 : So, see, in Middle Earth...

  Conway Stern : Shh! Shh, shh, shhh. Come on, buddy.

• Cyril Figgis : Where'd you get the steak?

  Conway Stern : Cristal. Yet another offering of unrefrigerated meat and/or seafood.

  Cyril Figgis : Yeah, she's kinda weird that way.

  Conway Stern : Yeah, she's kinda weird a bunch of ways.

• Conway Stern : Now, whom can I thank for these shrimp?

  Cheryl : Me!

  [Rips open her blouse] 

  Cheryl : Your secret Jew Santa.