Quotes
[first lines]
Aura: Honey, I'm home... Family?
Candace: Downstairs...
Siri: Can you turn your right toe slightly towards me?
Nadine: It hurts.
Siri: Perfect.
[click]
Share thisAura: I just got off a plane from Ohio. I am in a post-graduate delirium.
Share thisAura: [on why her ex-boyfriend went to Colorado] Something about building a shrine to his ancestors out of a dying tree.
Share thisSiri: Do you have the same sense of entitlement as my daughter.
Charlotte: Oh believe me, mine is much worse.
Share thisCharlotte: [to Aura after Charlotte slapped her because she hadn't seen her for years] I'm so sorry i slapped you! i'm just so overwhelmed!
Share thisCharlotte: In high school, you were always the "I have to go home" girl. Are you still the "i have to go home" girl?
Aura: I have to go home.
Share thisCharlotte: You know the thing about your friends? They weren't assholes, were they?
Aura: No, not at all.
Charlotte: See, that's the problem. Our people are assholes. Our moms are assholes.
Aura: You think my mom's an asshole?
Charlotte: Yeah. She's too successful not to be.
Share thisCharlotte: [to Aura] You need something that shows off your little tits. You have the greatest little tits. They're like a 1960's porn star with those puffy little nipples you have.
Share thisCharlotte: [when Aura mentions her hostess pay check] I wouldn't get that excited about that paycheck. It's pretty disappointing. After awhile, I just stopped picking mine up.
Share thisSiri: You get him out of our house.
Aura: What?
Siri: I want him out of my house!
Aura: He's not doing anything! He's only been in my room!
Siri: He is in the laundry room mixing lights and darks!
Share thisCharlotte: I think the issue is that it reflects badly on Aura as an authority figure...
Nadine: You know what else reflects badly? Walking through my party with no pants on.
Charlotte: That's a good point.
Share thisAshlynn: So I am going to introduce you to this boy Jed. He is little bit famous, in like an internet kind of way.
Share thisAshlynn: [on Aura's youtube video] I saw that your dyslexic stripper video got like 400 hits!
Share thisAura: [to Siri when Aura asks to borrow her laptop] Did you just google 'cupcakes'?
Share thisCharlotte: Listen, if you're lonely, you can come back to my place, and we can just take an ambien and watch "Picnic at Hanging Rock".
Share thisKeith: How are things?
Aura: Um. I'm really tired. I took three klonopin and woke up next to a spoon full of peanut butter.
Share thisAura: I have no experience.
Charlotte: It's absolutely fine. On my resume under "skills", I put "has a landline".
Share thisKeith: These guys are such fucking dirt bags, man. I'm just sitting there, trying to read my book, and they're all crowded around watching "cum omelette" on someone's iPhone.
Aura: What is "cum omelette"?
Keith: A porn video.
Aura: What happens in it?
Keith: Pretty self explanatory.
Share thisAura: You don't have AIDS, do you?
Keith: No. Do you?
Aura: Uh uh.
Keith: Do you have herpes?
Aura: No. Do you?
Keith: No.
Share thisSiri: ...Poems are a very stupid thing to be good at. Poems are basically like dreams. Something everybody likes to tell other people but stuff that nobody actually cares about when its not their own.
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