Season 1, Episode 1: The Pilot19 September 2010
Richard "Fitz" Fitzpatrick, morally bankrupt top salesman of pre-owned automobiles for 9 years running, hits rock bottom when he crashes a GT on a test drive, puts a woman in a coma, and wakes up to find he's grown a conscience - a living/breathing hanger-on named Larry, who joins Fitzpatrick Motors as a do-gooder salesman, and threatens to undercut Fitz' debaucherous way of life...
Season 1, Episode 2: Loco19 September 2010
After a failed hit on Larry's life, Fitz's only option is to get rid of him by proving Larry's crazy. After all, he claims to be his conscience. Meanwhile, Larry tries to purge Fitz of drugs and alcohol. But by the time Larry rallies the Fitzpatrick family for an intervention, Fitz's own sanity begins to dwindle in the throes of the DTs, and he decides to take whacking matters into his own hands...
Season 1, Episode 3: Mama26 September 2010
When Fitz discovers his father is leaving Fitzpatrick Motors to Larry in his will, he has no choice but to prove Larry is NOT his long-lost, responsible brother. And the only way to do it is a quick visit to his absentee, alcoholic mother Elaine. Meanwhile, Junior Survivalist Kara builds her now growing attempted vehicular manslaughter case by blackmailing Josh with a compromising cell phone.
3 October 2010
Fitz quickly unloads Elaine's car in hopes of putting their broken relationship behind him for good. But Larry is convinced it was a desperate plea to get her back in his life. Unfortunately for Fitz, that's exactly what happens.
10 October 2010
When Larry and Meghan buy Ken a birthday present, Fitz scrambles to come up with his own gift to blow Meghan's out of the water. But the only thing they have in common is cars and porn. So Fitz shoots a car-themed porn with Ken's favorite classic porn star Candy Box. But she's a little older than Fitz remembered.
17 October 2010
Fitz tries to hook Larry up with a drunk chick, only to end up sleeping with Janet, the drunkest of them all. But the next morning Fitz discovers Janet wasn't drunk, she's brain damaged. Meghan meanwhile tries to get back on the dating horse. When she mistakes an attempted purse snatching for a come-on, she takes her mugger hostage at a motel.
24 October 2010
Hoping to take advantage of spousal privilege, Fitz proposes to a comatose Babs, believing it will prevent her morse-code testimony. In an attempt to placate Larry, Fitz makes him his Best Man.
31 October 2010
Fitz is pleasantly surprised to discover his marriage to Babs fulfills his latent maternal longings. After Fitz fully regresses to a child-like state, Babs discovers he doesn't want a lover, he wants a Mommy. Appalled, Larry tries to get Ali to help break them up. But when it becomes clear that Ali's jealous of Babs, Fitz realizes who he should really be with.
7 November 2010
Being a widower has its perks; the pity, the gifts, the inheritance - which Fitz uses to buy a plot of land for his dream bar, The Summer Wind Lounge. Ali learns her mother's dying wish was an organic burial. Unfortunately it's illegal. But if anyone can help her skirt the law, it's Fitz.
14 November 2010
Reeling from the Ali debacle, Fitz has a new plan to get rid of Larry: if he's good for once, there'd be no need to have a conscience. Larry would finally leave him alone. So Fitz sets up a charity drive for Ned the cripple - not a kid, but a curmudgeonly middleaged guy in a wheelchair. And to prove he's really altruistic, he promises to give Ned a kidney.
21 November 2010
A sniper takes siege of Fitzpatrick Motors. Larry is convinced Fitz's cowardice in withholding his syphilis diagnosis from his sexual partners has brought this upon them. But as Fitz points out, it could be any one of the hundreds of people who want him dead. Ali meanwhile tries to get over bad boy Fitz by dating milquetoast Chester Vince.
28 November 2010
The final numbers for the Fibbies are in, and Fitz is way out of contention. But there's a loop-hole - salesmen can enter as a team. As Fitz schemes to sign Larry as his 'plus one', Larry gets an anonymous letter: a clue into a past he no longer remembers.
5 December 2010
Fitz wakes up in a motel room with his captors, Ali, Sonja, and Julia, the leader of the Bad Men and the Good Women Who Love Them support group. But the women are divided on what they want to do with him - castrate him or record a hostage-style video PSA to warn women everywhere.
Season 2, Episode 1: A** Hickey25 September 2011
Broke, insomniac and paranoid, Fitz doesn't think things could get any worse... until a fortuneteller tells him he's fated to die by the next Beaver Moon. What the fuck is a Beaver Moon?
25 September 2011
A giant penis defaces the Fitzpatrick Motors mural, and the penis is pointed straight at Fitz's mouth. Fitz is now determined to broadcast his heterosexuality far and loud... There's only one question...How?
2 October 2011
When Larry diagnoses Fitz with dyslexia, he's a little surprised by Fitz's acceptance... until he discovers his plans to cash in on the disability system.
9 October 2011
When Babs Devon's body is dug up, Larry accidentally tells the cops that the Summerwind land is a Native burial ground. Fitz must fight to keep the site from being expropriated, how else will he build his chessy dream lounge?
16 October 2011
Confronted with his mortality via a grey pube, Fitz tries to talk legendary crooner Dexter Laine into backing his plans for the Summerwind; cashing in on his idol's name is a sure bet. And failing that - sabatoge the old guy.
23 October 2011
After the untimely death of Dexter Laine, there's only one thing left for Fitz to do - find a way to profit from his hero's demise. Little does he know, Dex's dismembered feet will help solve the mystery of Dot Foxley once and for all...
30 October 2011
When Dot gets too close to Ken for Fitz's comfort, Fitz lands on an unlikely solution to his problem - his mother. But what happens when she gets too close for comfort? It's Fitz versus Fitz...and somebody's going down hard.
6 November 2011
With their father hospitalized for testicular cancer, the Fitzpatrick children compete to prove their love...and get the old man's cash.
13 November 2011
This isn't the first time Fitz has been brought in for questioning... it is, however, the first time he's been innocent of the charges. It's Fitz versus his nemesis Chester Vince. And vengeance is one of Fitz's favourite games...
20 November 2011
Broke, sans wheels, and on the lam...Fitz and Larry must track down Sonja in order to prove that Fitz didn't kill her. But where is she? And is it true the Amish are cannibals?
27 November 2011
With death on the Beaver Moon quickly approaching, Fitz realizes his accomplishments don't add up to shit... and sets out on a highly dangerous attempt to go out in a blaze of glory - a high school speed record that no one believes he will survive.
4 December 2011
When Fitz finds himself transported to the afterworld, he discovers that he and Larry really are two parts of the same soul. Only problem is that Fitz wants to party in hell while Larry's got loftier accoms in mind.
11 December 2011
With the Beaver Moon upon him, Fitz puts together a team of unlikely experts for one last attempt to discover the identity of his shadowy nemesis. Too bad that team is the same sadsacks he sees everyday. Will they be able to save Fitz? And once and for all, will he uncover the identity of his shadowy assassin?
23 September 2012
After a demolition order shuts the Summerwind down on opening night, Fitz sets out to figure out who's fucking with him... so he can fuck with them first.
23 September 2012
When Fitz's identity is "accidentally" deleted from the city records, he and Larry travel to Miami to obtain Fitz's long-form birth certificate from a reluctant Ken.
30 September 2012
With his campaign coffers running desperately low, Fitz decides to seduce the old money establishment at the local country club for donations.
7 October 2012
With Chester Vince firmly in control of the multicultural vote, Fitz sets out to prove that he too is a friend of the "ethnics".
14 October 2012
Fitz' sex-for-votes tactic backfires when the president of the Ladies Auxiliary winds up dead and Larry's feminine touch proves to be more of a liability than an asset.
Season 3, Episode 6: Semen Gate21 October 2012
Fitz's "Last Honest Man" campaign is in danger of being derailed by Barry, a surly twenty-something who claims he's Fitz's illegitimate son.
28 October 2012
With his popularity on the rise, Fitz sets out to seal his win by securing the sympathy vote.
4 November 2012
When Fitz can't horn his way into Ken and Elaine's church scam, he decides that if you can't join 'em, beat 'em... and starts his own religion.
11 November 2012
Fitz discovers being City Councilor doesn't actually give him the power to do... well, anything, so he sets out to find another way to repeal the by-law and get his bar open.
18 November 2012
When Mayor Fitz ushers in a world of Blowjob Tuesdays and daycare sweatshops, Larry realizes there's only one person who can stop him - his good 'ol conscience Larry.
25 November 2012
After Larry gets Fitz thrown in jail in an ill-thought-out attempt to repair his relationship with Ken, Fitz finds there's only one thing standing between him and survival - a fruit-flavoured breakfast cereal.
2 December 2012
With Ali in labour, Fitz sets out to get the dealership back before his son is born. The last thing he wants is for the kid to think his old man's a loser.
Fitz wants to use his baby to sell cars but first must prove to the courts that he can provide a stable and loving home.
The Fitzpatricks devise a plan to use a baby play group as a front for a brothel that caters to lonely moms.
When the Fitzpatrick family learns their newest member has gone missing, no one really cares... until they find out Josh stashed the profits from the baby brothel in his diaper. Fitz and Larry follow Baby Fitz' trail to Chester Vince, who happens to be holding Ali Devon hostage in the back of his van. Fitz and Larry soon join Ali, and the three of them must find a way to work together in order to keep a mentally unbalanced Chester from burning them alive in a quest to communicate with his alien overlord, before the track down the child.
When Ken refuses to accept the return of the money Pat Childs found in Baby Fitz' diaper, Larry becomes convinced that loneliness is at the root of his very strange behavior. Fitz thinks Larry's smoking the dope, but when he sees Pat Childs encroaching on their business; he heeds Larry's advice to spend more time with his father, and enlists his help to take down Pat Childs using a classic pedophila scam "The Polanski." Unfortunately for Fitz, in spending some quality father-son time, he discovers a truth about his family that would have been best kept buried.
It's a rainy night at the Fitzpatrick house, and Larry takes the opportunity to use large amounts of alcohol to con the family into playing his favorite game: 'Truth: the board game'. Truth is true to its name, and even Larry ends up discovering far more about the Fitzpatricks than he ever wanted to know. When they wake up the next morning to find a freshly dug grave in the backyard and a missing Elaine, the family must band together in order to re-discover those truths and figure out what happened the night before.
Season 4, Episode 6: O-Rigins2013
Wedding bells are ringing at casa Fitzpatrick as Ken and Elaine get set to re-tie the knot, and everyone is getting into the act. Everyone except for Fitz, who is convinced the wedding is a secret ploy to bring down Fitzpatrick motors once and for all. In order to stop the impending nuptials, Fitz teams up with unlikely ally and bedfellow, Paula Childs to help expose her father's nefarious plans. More than kissing cousins are revealed when Pat Childs shows up at the ceremony with a truth bomb that will sever ties with Ken and Fitz once and for all.
Still reeling from the shocking truth about his father, Fitz takes a drive down memory lane that leaves him with an even bigger identity crisis than he started with. Now that Fitzpatrick Motors is defunct, Fitz gets Josh and Larry to help him steal back "his childhood car, Betsy", in hopes of selling her off to the highest bidder. Along the way he gets swept up in a flood of nostalgia that blurrs the line between man and machine. Meanwhile Ken, who's out to relive some old memories of his own, gets a rude spiritual awakening when he tracks down a lost love from his past.
After accepting Pat Childs' offer to work at The O-Mobile dealership, Fitz quickly learns that life in the corporate world is not the cakewalk he hoped it would be. Thanks to Larry, Fitz discovers he could be in for a big pay out if he figures out a way to get canned. Yet, despite best efforts Pat refuses to give up on him leaving Fitz saddled with a major presentation to give that leaves him one step closer to embracing his inner Childs.
Twas the night before the night before Fitzmas but the only visions dancing in Fitz' head are of his face plastered on O-mo billboards around town. As part of his new O-mo image, Fitz has decided to give up drinking which prompts a visit by three ghosts to show him the impact his newfound sobriety will have on the people around him. With the whole Fitzpatrick clan scattered, Larry must scramble to rally the troops if he hopes to save Fitz from going down the wrong path.
When Larry finds evidence of a lost family fortune, it gives him the leverage he needs to persuade the rest of the Fitzpatrick clan to save Fitz from the clutches of Pat Childs' evil O-Mo empire. Now all they have to do is find where the money is hidden. Meanwhile, thanks to the ghost of Christmas future, Fitz has been driven to drink again. Once reunited, the Fitzpatricks must expose Pat Childs for the fraud he is if they hope to learn the true meaning of Fitzmas -- cold hard cash.
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