Ted Mosby: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
Barney Stinson: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.
Barney Stinson: [to a random girl, wearing Marshall's overalls] Hey.
Robin Scherbatsky: Oh, he's not saying hello, he's just telling you what he feeds his horses. Oh man, I could sit here and make "you look like a farmer" jokes all night. Challenge accepted.
Ted Mosby: I forgot what it feels like to chase the real thing but I think I'm ready again.
Barney Stinson: Yeah... let me tell you were I'm at... I want to have sex with a girl so I can take off these overalls.
Ted Mosby: Oh come on. Who really wants to sit here and listen to me blab about bridges for an hour?
[hands go up; Ted is moved]
Ted Mosby: Really?
Ted Mosby: [Ted receives a call] Hello?
Mrs. Douglas: Hello? Ted Mosby?
Ted Mosby: Yes?
Mrs. Douglas: The window is open.
Ted Mosby: [pause] What?
Mrs. Douglas: The Window... is open!
Ted Mosby: [hangs up and looks to Marshall] The window is open.
Marshall Eriksen: What are you waiting for?
Ted Mosby: I... I...
Marshall Eriksen: Run, Ted! RUN!
[Ted runs out of the apartment]
Ted Mosby: [to Lily on the sidewalk] Lily, the window is open.
Lily Aldrin: Make a hole, people!
[gets baby cart of bystanders and pushes it forward, sending the bystanders to chase it]
Lily Aldrin: Run, Ted! RUN!
Ted Mosby: You know how everyone has that guy or girl that no matter what happens, you know will be perfect for you.
Marshall Eriksen: Lily.
Robin Scherbatsky: Mike Shacks.
Barney Stinson: That girl over there.
Ted Mosby: [Ted is trying to end the class early so he could scramble back to MacLaren's for Maggie] One very important thing to keep in mind when designing a bridge...
[absentmindedly writes MAGGIE on the blackboard]
Ted Mosby: Oh no, I mean, yes, when designing a bridge, always remember
[points to writing]
Ted Mosby: Make Adjustments, Go Get It Energized. Good advice for life too.
Betty: [Raises hand] So Professor Mosby, is this Maggie someone special?
Ted Mosby: No... she's this girl I've been into for a really long time so well, tonight could be the one chance I have to go out with her.
[students raise hands and Ted chooses one]
Jamie Adamic: Is she a hottie?
Ted Mosby: Yes Jamie she's very attractive, we can just end this class right now and
[Betty raises hand]
Ted Mosby: Betty?
Betty: Maggie may finally be available, but what about you Professor Mosby, are you ready for a serious relationship?
Ted Mosby: Totally... I mean I think so, maybe, I don't know, what do you guys think?
[students raise hands]
Barney Stinson: [about Marshall's overalls] No one, I mean no one could get laid wearing these. Challenge accepted. I, Barney Stinson, of sound mind and amazing body will wear these overalls until have sex with a woman.
Jim: [about Maggie] I've been in love with her for five years.
Ted Mosby: I've been in love with her for twelve years.
Barney Stinson: I've been in these overalls for an hour and a half.