Siren (III) (2010) User Reviews

Do not believe the cover

[Cesarius · 3/10 · 27 April 2011]

An excellent setup, nice idea but completely wasted in bad acting, bad directing and scripting.

You know, if you are going to make a sexy horror movie you have to go all the way. I mean, why selling sex with the cover, why select the players so obviously by their looks, if you are not going to show a thing.

On the other hand maybe you could have pull it off as a more serious horror movie with better actors. But not showing the sex scenes between the characters, specially the lesbian scene, is not having any sense of business at all.

In the end, be clear of what kind of movie you want to make and try to make the better movie you can of the genre...

Such a waste...

The siren failed to impress...

[paul_haakonsen · 3/10 · 31 March 2011]

Do not get suckered in by the alluring movie cover, because it is really nothing that you see in the movie at all. And worst of all, that movie cover does send a wrong signal about what you will see in the movie.

The movie "Siren" is a story about 3 people getting stranded on a small island when their boat breaks down and runs ashore. Here they encounter the sensual and mysterious Silka. But something is not entirely right on the island...

"Siren" does have an interesting take on the whole siren mythology and it is interesting enough, just a shame that the rest of the movie was so bad. The story trots forward in a slow, dull pace with nothing much happening. And at times it is great, because you want to know what will happen next, but at other times it is frustrating, because you feel you are getting nowhere in way too long a time.

Having a small cast was working well for the movie though, because you get more involved with each character, but sadly there were very little character evolving throughout the movie. You never really fully did get into whom they were and why they acted the way they did.

One thing that did work for the movie, was the singing. When Silka was singing it did sound really interesting and chilling in a way. It sort of made you tinkle and the song went to your soul (if one does believe that we have souls). So thumbs up for the impressive sound here.

One thing that really ticked me off was the excessive display of semi-erotic scenes. Why did we see almost everyone making out with almost everyone? And why were there so many girl on girl scenes? It totally brought the movie down to a low-grade, low-ranked sleazy level. And this was what killed off the movie for me, the final death throe.

The genre is labeled as horror, but I wouldn't hardly call "Siren" a horror movie. It is more of a suspense movie, because nothing scary is happening throughout the entire movie.

I was disappointed with the overall movie experience, as I had expected at least something more than what it turned out to be; a sad excuse to show women kissing each other!

Nothing much to see here

[Leofwine_draca · 4/10 · 19 June 2016]

It's not often you get a modern horror film with its origins in Greek myth, but SIREN is such a movie. Sadly, it wastes the potential of that premise with a storyline that turns out to stick to its low budget origins in a film that features plenty of tease and very little in the way of action or incident.

I don't mind mood pieces that focus on brooding atmosphere but there's none of that either. Where SIREN does succeed is in creating a sufficiently exotic locale for the action - this British movie was shot in Tunisia and it looks great. The twentysomething cast don't have much opportunity to shine given the vagueness of their characters, and when the supernatural aspects of the storyline finally show up they're dealt with in the most ordinary way imaginable.

Where I do have to praise the film is in the performance of lead actress Anna Skellern. She starts off being treated in purely physical terms as a Kelly Brook-style voluptuous figure, but by the end she's shown previously unimagined depths of fragility and determination. Skellern is very good, the single stand out in what is a generally lacklustre movie.

Terrible from start to finish.

[Matt_Layden · 2/10 · 17 March 2011]

Samuel L. Jackson once said in the film Changing Lanes to Ben Affleck...."I Want My Time Back!!" That's how I feel after watching this mess of a horrid film.

Siren is a "horror" film in which three friends take a boat trip to get away from the city. They spot a man on an island and rescue him, he soon dies on their boat. The motor on their boat has been fried and they decide to stay on the island over night. While on the island they run into a woman, who seems frightened, disoriented and can't seemed to remember things. She is beautiful and her beauty grabs the attention of the three characters, even the female. She turns out to be a siren, of Greek mythology. A beautiful woman who would lure men to the island through song. Death was brought upon them.

Argh, this film has an interesting cover design. A woman holding a knife in a bikini. There were two other women on each side of her, also in bikinis. The back cover of the DVD has yet another woman in a bikini. The tagline read an exotic tale of lust and revenge. Sex and horror, two great elements that go together. With a little bit a Greek mythology sprinkled in, I expected this film to be at the very least tolerable. Boy, was I ever wrong.

First, if the poster excites you, don't. This is a classic case of never judge a book by it's cover. Siren will try to lure you in with the promise of sex, blood and horror. The film never has a moment of these things. The film starts off with two characters pretending to be strangers, to spice up their relationship apparently. It fails because the woman has visions of some blonde person, whom we later find out to be the siren. They have sex, successfully on the boat, never exciting during the scene though. The siren has many scenes where she kisses the woman, I have no idea why. Maybe it was a cheap attempt at luring in young boys?

The back of the cover on the DVD is also wrong with the description of the film. It says they spot a seductive sultry woman on an island, this is incorrect. They spot some bearded man ramblings on in gibberish. It isn't till they bury him on the island do they see the woman, whom is neither seductive or sultry. We are treated to a bunch of scenes where the characters see things that aren't really there. The question of what is real and what isn't is raised, but you'll never be interested enough to care.

I'm expected to believe that the one character was in love with the other, except that he's upset about a 'hot friend' not making the trip. He also tries to have a three way with this new woman, just more fuel to the aggravating fire. Please, even a fifth grader can come up with better characterization than that. The third character, Marco, was pointless. Just another person to fill up the 80 minutes running time. He likes the woman that is dating the guy, but it never leads anywhere.

How do people die? The siren sings and they bleed from their ears. That is it. Excitement level is at an all time low here. Don't even get me started on the obvious and completely inane ending. This is not a horror film, I would call it suspense if anything...it even fails at that though.

Barely interesting time waster

[roberthaynes · 17 September 2011]

Siren had the potential to be a great film. Unfortunately due to poor scripting and what seems like a very rushed denouement, the film never really lives up to it's potentially very interesting premise.

The director certainly shows some flair for gorgeous scenics and there is definitely an ambiance of sexy creepiness but all of this amounts to very little.

Even the expected exploitative aspects of this film seem somewhat tame in terms of what they could've been.

A really interesting first half amounts to a barely sustainable 76 odd minute somewhat interesting erotic horror film, but nothing you should go out of your way to make a point of seeing.

a horror movie?

[martin-graupner · 1/10 · 2 July 2011]

the only thing, that is really horrifying is the dialogs. people constantly shouting their names, nonstop looking for each other. nothing happens in this movie but the waste of time. after 20 minutes, you think: »please, get killed. now! o my gosh, it's another 60 minutes left.«

if someone is interested in mythology, i recommend homers odyssee as a book. this movie isn't even a modern interpretation of it. everything is superficial. no connection but the idea of people who got influenced by the singing of sirens. in the myth it's not only one siren and they sing to get seamen to shipwreck. here, the reason is different. in fact, the movie combines the myth of sirens with the myth of circe. that's, why the siren's name is silka, 'cause it sounds like, without meaning it. in the odyssee these are completely different stories. this is just senseless eclecticism. poorly made.

The Movie Is One Big Tease

[LeonLouisRicci · 4/10 · 26 May 2014]

It's got Good Looking People, Good Looking Scenery, but the Movie is Not So Good. It takes a lot of Conceit to Offer so much and Deliver so little. It is a Tease right from the Box Art. Everything is Teasing in this Movie.

It Pretends to be a Sexy Thriller with many a Sex Scenes that start out Real Sexy and end up with Interruptus. The Nudity Stops with Back Shots and Cleavage, Tight Dresses and Loose Behavior. But there isn't much in this Thing that has Convincing Conviction.

There is a lot of Walking Around and Getting Lost. There is a lot of Name Calling and more Name Calling. Things Happen with Little Explanation and Even Less Suspense. There are Numerous Repetitive Scenes, for example, that have Something do with bending down to a Pool of Water and Scooping Up a Handful for some Unknown Reason.

There are some Individual Shots that Impress, like the Facial Distortion, and a Bloody Hallucination or Two, but the Story Meanders as much as the Characters and Nothing is Tightly Woven Together. It All just Happens and it is All suppose to be So Mysterious. But as a Completed Project there is Much to be Desired.

Overall, Looking Good is not Enough and the Film Fails more than it Succeeds and Genre Fans are most Likely to be Very Disappointed and Serious Story Types...Ditto.

A failure on every level

[bowmanblue · 4/10 · 21 March 2015]

It's hard to believe that any film can get so much so wrong all at once.

Siren has no major stars in it and is a self-confessed horror film. Therefore, the best the film-makers were probably hoping for was that it attained a cult following on DVD. I doubt it will.

For a start the cover is misleading. It shows three bikini-clad women's bodies on the front. There are only two women in the whole movie (and only one ever wears a bikini slightly near the end of the film). Secondly, the tagline describes the film as 'The best supernatural thriller since Dead Calm.' First of all Dead Calm was released over twenty years ago and it wasn't supernatural. The only similarity is that both films have boats in them.

Then we have the film itself: three of the most unlikeable people in the world take a boat trip and end up getting stuck on an island with - you guessed it - a siren. Despite not heeding the obligatory warning from the clichéd old geezer at the boating station about sailing too close to the rock and getting caught by supernatural beings, they do it anyway. Do we care? Probably not by now as we're so sick of watching these people.

Anyone hoping for vague titillation will be disappointed. You see two women naked from the back and they kiss a couple of times. No nudity. Not even lots of bikini-clad women.

The horror. There isn't much. There's hardly any in the film at all. When it tries to be scary about three quarters of the way through, it just feels confusing.

It's one plus point - it was short. However, the 1 hr 16 minutes felt a lot longer than it actually way! Just don't bother with this one.

Group of friends rescue a someone and find a beautiful woman on an island who is not what she seems.Could have been worse I say C+

[cosmo_tiger · 4/10 · 19 March 2011]

What would you do if rescuing people turned out to be a mistake. After their boat bottoms out trying to save a drowning victim a group of friends discover a beautiful woman on a deserted island. After inviting her to join them the group starts to experience strange visions, along with having problems trying to leave. It may be skewed because the movies I watched before this were pretty boring, but this one actually wasn't too bad. It has some overused characters, the cocky boyfriend, the pretty girlfriend, the best friend in love with the girlfriend, and the strange hot girl who everyone falls in love with instantly. If I was up on my mythology I probably would have noticed some things that may have made this more interesting, but overall there are worse ways to spend an hour and a half. I give it a C+.

Would I watch again? - Probably not, but you never know.

Sellout

[kosmasp · 3/10 · 27 May 2012]

As another reviewer stated, do not believe the cover. You will be highly disappointed. But that is not the reason I was disappointed (mostly). Cover art aside the movie began really suspenseful and the beginning is really good. I liked it very much. Problem is, the rest of the movie didn't live up to the tone it did set early on. On the contrary it did almost fall apart.

Almost because even though the female lead is good, the other female in this unfortunately wasn't as good. But I'm not sure you can blame her. I think the script needed a little more work. Because there are flashes of genuine greatness (at least that's how I felt about them), but it never really takes off

Rent Ondine if you want to see a GOOD siren\silka flick

[charlytully · 4/10 · 17 April 2011]

Why would someone (me) rate the fairly recent release ONDINE as 9 out of 10, and then give SIREN just 4 of 10, when they are both based on the Homeric legend of the sea siren, or silka? (In the first movie, the character Ondine calls herself a silka, while in SIREN the title character says her name is Silka.) Let's explore a few of the answers. ONDINE is a family drama\mystery in which the audience cares about the characters because of great acting, while SIREN is a horror\mystery in which watchers can only hope the cast kills each other off as quickly as possible, since no one delivers a convincing performance. Whereas ONDINE is extremely well-plotted with unpredictable plot twists which make perfect sense in hindsight, SIREN is the sort of travesty which could have happened if the producers of the TV hit LOST had hired actors without talent and appointed Ulli Lommel to direct them in their island misadventures. SIREN's so-called plot revolves around a random jumble of nonsensical quick cuts apparently designed to evoke thoughtless jumpiness from viewers, though the actual incidents turn out to be ludicrous nonsensical throwaways, such as the never-seen-again dwarf which frightens Rachel during her ill-advised role-playing make-out session with her boyfriend in the CANDYMAN-style public rest room seen at the beginning of this misfire.

Though it would be possible (actually, downright tempting) to ramble on for 2 or 3 more pages about the short-comings of SIREN (it's not even sexy, which should be job #1 for this type of flick), readers would be better served by looking up ONDINE on their browsers to find a decent movie about sirens.

Finally something original! Good stuff here!

[Indifferent_Observer · 8/10 · 22 March 2011]

I usually don't trust movies from lionsgate,(Well for the past 10 years anyways) but this one really surprised me. It does start off kind of slow, but keeps an even pace and picks up nicely, quickly turning into a mental trip. My advice would be to NOT watch any trailers or try to read up on it just watch it. Any trailers will give away too much.

Basically,without giving anything away, a couple with a 3rd wheel go out on the sea for a nice day on the ocean. They get sidetracked when they boat passed an island and see someone signaling who may need help. Running into a beautiful woman the movie quickly becomes like a bad acid trip as you struggle to figure out just what exactly is happening.

Really, this is a very good flick if your a genre fan who doesn't need buckets of blood and loud explosions to keep you interested. If you need lots of gore this really isn't that type of movie. This movie uses a more cerebral approach, but never fails to keep attention. The ending felt somewhat forced which was my only complaint. If they wouldve given the ending more I'd have given it a 10

Great independent actors who were all very believable and you could hardly tell it was an independent fare. Some spooky moments too. Definitely worth a watch!

At last a good independent horror

[lastardumonde · 7/10 · 24 April 2011]

Be aware: Siren is not a masterpiece nor is it a tent pole style, Hollywood designed movie and has a very personal take and view from its director, the late Andrew Hull. With these taken into account, it is an excellent B and all fans of the genre will appreciate it. It leaves us guessing what the man behind the cam would have come up with in a potentially promising career.

Siren explores the Ancient Greek myth with a twist and a more modern take on it, which I found very compelling and somewhat surprising. It explores the themes of attraction and lust, the everlasting / ever coming back femme fatale theme, the praying mantis that eats its male partner after mating, or, in other words the deadly attraction. Put in this context 4 stunning young characters (of which The Decent 2's jaw dropping Anna Skellern!), fear, blood and atrocities and you get a cocktail "frappe", on ice, served right there, in your living room.

Now my only comment would be this stays a bit on the surface as far as the characters are concerned and some scenes could have been dug into a bit more (editing constraints?) but hey, for a straight to DVD horror, this is a much above the average one, and a pleasurable one to watch and rewatch.

I didn't fall for the chanting siren

[trashgang · 3/10 · 12 September 2011]

P2, the other horror movie from director Andrew Hull had something to deliver but here everything goes wrong. I have seen some reviews who adore this flick but for a horror buff there is nothing to see. The sleeve of the DVD shows us a buxom beauty full of blood with a big knife. Well, I've seen the whole show unrated and uncut but I guess I must have fallen asleep because I never saw that part. But again, I should have known better, if you put "for the fans of Hatchet, Wrong Turn or Hostel" on your sleeve then you should know that that's wrong. So what's wrong with it, well, the storyline itself is okay but it doesn't deliver. It's well known that ships went down due the chants of sirens, and that's what this story is about. But the so-called lesbian affair between the buxom beauty and the siren is let-down. They go swimming full monty but it's shown from the back. Come on, if you do nudity in your flick then show us some frontal shots. And there are a few more of those scene's. When the siren undresses, well you only see her head. It's all more about imagination then about a slasher. There is no slashing in it. Just a killing or two and that's all. It's never bloody and when it does it's so stupid and unbelievable. Luckily the acting does deliver and especially Anna Skellern (Rachel) did a nice job and I guess people who have seen her in The Descent 2 as Cath will be happy to see her in her bikini. Good acting, bad flick. So a 2 for the juggs of Anna, sadly that will be all because nothing really happens, it's more about a love story than a horror. Come on Andrew, I give an extra point in my vote for you, you can do better.

Now I get it

[Unknownian · 28 December 2017]

I've always found actress Teresa Srbova extremely attractive, so when I found this flick playing on satellite one evening, and saw her in the cast, I had to watch it.

I thought the cinematography was great, but the story was non existent. I was disappointed and gave it a low rating here. Then years later, I found the DVD at a swap meet for $1.00 and thought it would be fun to watch it again.

After the movie was completed, I felt the same way I did the first time until I played the deleted scenes. There is a long deleted scene in special features where Silka (Srbova) is explaining the entire reason for everything happening on the island to the other female lead. I was dumbfounded why that scene was taken out of the flick, because it actually would have saved the movie.

Then interesting enough, I decided to try and reach Andrew Hull (director) to ask him why he removed the most important scene in the movie. It turns out that Andrew Hull was killed in May 2010 in a bicycle accident, and the movie was picked up later by Lionsgate in October 2010. It was messed with, released in March, 2011, and the final edit is nothing like Andrew Hull probably would have finished it.

Who the heck knows who did the final cut of this film. All I can tell you is : if this key scene wasn't removed from this movie by whomever, this film would be sitting here with a much higher rating than it is. Editing tells the story of a film. Too bad for Andrew Hull, that he died before he had the chance to piece his movie together for a final edit that might have told the story he originally had in mind.

The Bermuda Triangle in the Med

[cmoyton · 3/10 · 18 April 2012]

The best part of this movie is the opening scene which has no relation to to the main storyline, but i liked it as a nice piece of misdirection. Two lovers act out a role play so unfortunately it was not really a hooker and a serial killer. Later on in the film i am thinking are they ripping off Dead Calm when they pick up the survivor, but alas i know its not already because i have read the blurb on the DVD cover.

To make the ancient Greek myth of the Siren in a contemporary movie setting earns a point for a nice try but the execution is dismal. The acting is really poor but even with a stronger cast it would have been a stretch to string out a one note story for 90 minutes. When the Siren sings her song to put her captives in a trance i nearly fell off my chair laughing. The beauty of having a malevolent evil spirit take over mere mortals minds is that in a script they end up doing the dumbest things with the ready made get out clause of mind possession.

The ending got me reminiscing over Dust Devil which is a far superior mix of mythology ( in this case African) melded with contemporary horror. As in Dust Devil a female springs a surprise on the demon/entity by killing it only to become herself the demon/entity...and so it goes on.

Although never fully explained, the Siren seemed to be collecting the bodies of her victims in a boat buried in the middle of the island. Upon seeing the shipwrecks off the coast i begin to wonder does the Sirens' evil influence extend far beyond the shores of the island as no one has bothered searching for which at this stage must be thousands of missing people.

Incredibly meager attempt at cinematic license

[bkp500 · 1/10 · 4 April 2016]

The single star is generous. This is Yoko Ono having the audience tear her clothing off piece by piece, and calling it performance art... If this is a serious stab at some ridiculous interpretation of the mythological Siren, then Hollywood has truly lowered the bar -- no, they've buried it. The writer/director must have simply enjoyed the actors running around screaming, and having blood appear for no reason, purpose, or effect.

If you took the reel of film, sliced it into a thousand bits, and reassembled them, with no logic or chronological sense, it would be no less disjointed than the original movie.

The one star is for the scenic hard-body actors. Period. Watch at your own peril... It's not scary, it's not profound, it's not suspenseful, it's certainly not "art." It's simply one long maddening prologue waiting for a story that never comes...

Not worth the time...

[diado · 2/10 · 21 July 2011]

(Potentially a very slight spoiler in the second paragraph) The cinematography isn't bad at all, the acting isn't horrible, but the plot is thin to say the least, with little to no back story or conclusion of any kind. Most scenes have no explanation or apparently meaning to them at all, or reason for them being in the movie whatsoever. There's nothing about this film which grabs your attention, there's no suspense, no intrigue, and by the end of it you're left caring very little about anything that happened over the course of it.

All in all, Siren seems to be an excuse to put out a half thought through vague nod to the Sirens myth just so that they can be 'original' by including a couple of female same-sex seduction scenes.

Best avoided.

Mysterious Mystery of Mysterious Mystery Island

[bemyfriend-40184 · 3/10 · 27 December 2020]

Mister and his mistress get undressed and find a mister in distress and mystery on a mysterious island. The mister and his mistress and the faithful friend in quickness find a miss in distress on mystery island. Sometimes straight, sometimes queer, they start bleeding out their ears by the song that they hears in fear and tears all on mysterious mystery island. The deleted scene explains, but it was deleted so why complain, the bad made worse than The Hunger or The Thirst, they're not the last because they're not the first on mysterious, mystery Island.

Pure Art

[wolfhell88 · 10/10 · 26 May 2013]

If you expect some stupid and primitive horror slasher with lots of blood and gore than stay away from this movie. This is pure cinema art.

The cinematography is just beautiful and so is lead actress Anna Skellern. The rest of the actors are okay. It plays with the Greek mythology about Odysseus and the Sirens. Their songs drive everyone insane.

The story here is about a young couple, Ken and Rachel who went on a yacht trip with their best friend Marco. To make the story a little bit more complicated Rachel once was Marco's girlfriend, so there is lots of jealousy between the two men. One day a stranger comes on their ship. He bleeds out of his ears and dies.

So they enter the island to bury him. Here they meet the mysterious Silka and from now on nothing is like it was before. The boundaries between fiction and reality become indistinct and we see them all lost in a surreal fantasy.

What is real and what is fiction? Like Marco said in a scene: It's like an LSD trip. Silka turns out to be a Siren. When she starts singing everyone gets insane. I won't spoil the ending here but as I said: it's mystery not horror, more in the style of the Spanish cult movie "Amer" and films like "The Ring".

I like especially the surreal scenes in this movie and the brilliant cinematography. Pure art cinema!

A modern take, sexy, original view on a classic mythological tale.

[thomasreiter29 · 7/10 · 10 May 2011]

Didn't really know what I was getting when I got the DVD but felt adventurous and certainly didn't regret it.

This film is the vision of late Andrew Hull, on how to translate an old myth into our modern age where the cult of the perfect body leads to temptations and treacheries. It explores the laws of attraction, the Femme Fatale idea in a way that seems to me inspired by the French New Wave.

More down to earth, it's a bunch of young people marooned on a seemingly desert island, there's lots of blood, 4 little known actors but with great potential.

The film is beautifully lit i thought by Will Humphries who's been working in the camera department for US block busters i think and i recommend it if you feel like seeing an unusual, independent and original horror.

Weak psychoterror

[TdSmth5 · 1 August 2011]

It's not easy pulling of a psychological terror movie. Probably even more difficult on a low budget. And Siren seems to be done on a bare-bones budget. There are a total or 6 actors or so in the entire movie and only a few locations. That said I'm glad it was filmed on location on an island and not in a studio.

The story involves a couple in lust, Ken and Rachel who take a trip on a boat around the Greek islands. For some reason, Rachel's ex comes along for the trip. As they get close to an island they encounter a skinny man bleeding out of his ears and who ends up dying shortly after that. They bury him on the island and run into a strange woman who doesn't speak much.

That's when the psychoterror begins as all the tourists start seeing and hearing things, although none of it is particularly scary or threatening. At first what keeps the movie going is the sexual tension between the attractive ladies Rachel and the woman. Once that fades away, the movie quickly goes downhill as the psychoterror ramps up and becomes more dull and pointless. Countless times we have one character wondering off into the woods and everyone else screaming his/her name over and over.

The title gives away what this movie is about and yet they try to present that as a surprise, it obviously isn't. They should have given this movie a different title. Also important is a little background mythology and explanation the strange woman gives- which ends up in the deleted scenes! There is a final twists in the movie which was very good and made things interesting.

Despite the low budget, this movie looks very good, the ladies are hot, but the story is too minimal. Even though Siren is fairly short it feels long because nothing serious goes on. A well made movie that is seriously hampered by a weak script and lack of ideas.

Awesome!

[Mountainshadows · 10/10 · 18 June 2018]

I am quite picky when it comes to movies... A long time horror fan; this movie struck me as one of the best I've seen in recent times.

Nutshell; Nobody even realized

[sinan50563 · 7/10 · 25 August 2011]

Script...

I mean i couldn't say anything to say because throughout this decide there was no horror movie about witchcraft.You know all this decide there was lots of movie about magic or like that but horror because of that Nobody didn't even thought it all craps about witchcraft.

Im totally agree acting wasn't so good but Even producer was thought that This movie C class horror but no.What i tried to mean is its sorcery it wasn't even need fancy visual effect and they didn't also they needn't big great actors they didn't.

It may not be perfect or so scary but its well written and well directed.

All in all; Years later from Blair Witch Project somebody remember there was a kind of horror movie about Witchcraft And That somebody made it, made it how it should been!

Since when are sirens lesbians? Since someone decided to do a Playboy version of a fantasy horror film.

[fedor8 · 1 August 2020]

I found lesbianism somewhat titillating when I was around 15, but since developing a brain I found it difficult to understand what fascinates guys so much about two heterosexual women pretending to enjoy fondling each other. (Fakery of any kind is always boring and off-putting, at least to us brainy people.) Lesbianism is the corny, easy way to titillate male viewers and its (over-)use nearly always damns a movie to the world of cheapdom.

Nothing in this movie isn't related to stiffies and sweaty female bodies glittering in the light. It's just sex sex sex - which is fine in a pornographic film, but definitely overkill in a horror film. An abundance of sex or sex-related themes is nearly always a killer in mainstream movies - unless you're a big fan of cheesy B-movie erotic thrillers. After all, how can mainstream erotica compare to the blatant t'n'a world of porn? It can't. So stick to non-sexual plots, ya putzes, or at least try to not make every male character think with his privates, try not to write about women who are constantly in the nympho mode. (Anybody ever met such a woman? Male fantasy BS.)

Don't let me give you the wrong impression though: this isn't like a soft core film because the nudity is rare and certainly no more pornographic than the average big-budget late-80s American thriller (with Michael Douglas humping women on walls). But the characters and their interactions don't make too much sense half the time because sex keeps clouding everyone's judgment. Sexual desire becomes the central theme - which, again, is fine in a 10-minute porn clip, but 80 minutes of people being horny is just a very poor way to present a horror film, or any kind of story.

Even the mystery man dying of mysterious causes right in front of them doesn't affect the guys: they still just want to shtoop the blonde - and of course the ravishing Anna Skellern. The mystery blonde OBVIOUSLY is lying, as her perpetual smirking proves (how could they miss those ominous smirks?), and yet they keep seeing her as just a sex-object.

The script is full of little doses of nonsense, such as the bearded guy's laughter upon seeing Ken's leg fall into the sand. It's crap like this that makes the movie confusing and inferior.

Midway through, we find out that the blonde has complete control of the three, able to manipulate with them as she pleases. This unfortunately causes a cluster-duck of confusion when disconnected scenes start piling up almost randomly. After that, the end is inevitable hence all suspense is gone: what chance do they have against a demonic siren on a remote island? To create suspense you must keep the outcome open, something many film-makers don't seem to grasp because they are so thick. The ending is really dumb: getting gorged doesn't hurt her but being stabbed in the neck does?

What was the point of that introductory scene of how the two met? Who was she claiming spied on them? What was she doing in the middle of a desert hitchhiking - while dressed lasciviously, as if she'd just been to a cheap hooker bar? Too many loose ends, very sloppy.