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Knights of Badassdom (2013) Poster

Quotes

Eric: And Guinevere the fearless, who's plus-three ass of perfection should keep the memory of she who should not be mentioned at bay.

Gwen: Plus-three? Clearly you underestimate my endowments.

Hung: 'Tis not the size of the young knave's blade, but the lust in his thrust by which legends are made!

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Ronnie Kwok: [in distress] You just summoned a succubus from Hell!

Eric: [pauses] Sorry.

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Beth: You live in a fake castle leeching off your accidental millionaire loser friend playing black metal in your bedroom. You'll never change.

Gilberto: Uh, it's *doom* metal.

Beth: Who the fuck asked you?

Joe: Well, he's right. Gilberto, you're the fucking man! It *was* black. Then we went through a sludge phase. Now it's more doom.

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Eric: [listening to Joe play on his guitar] That's a power ballad.

Hung: What's wrong with him?

Eric: Oh, she dumped you, didn't she?

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Hung: I can hear the breeze on my skin. 'Tis burnt orange.

Lando: And in English?... What the fuck's he saying?

Ronnie Kwok: [whispering] I don't know.

Hung: There's electricity in the air.

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Hung: Adventuring is exactly what thou needst!

Joe: "Needst" is not a word.

Hung: Where we are, it is.

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Ronnie Kwok: Joe Revitt's here? What the frack, Eric. I hate that guy!

Eric: Ronald, Ronald, why be so petty? I mean, surely, you're not still sore about your syphilitic paladin. Perhaps the pages of your monster manual remain... stucketh together?

Ronnie Kwok: [pause] For old time sake, he's in.

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Ronnie Kwok: If you don't stop complaining, the gods of Vincebus are going to curse all your characters with a case of evil herpes!

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Eric: Fuck. Shit! We gotta go back for the book!

Hung: What book?

Eric: I brought that kick-ass old book I was gonna to use for my spells! Fuck! I must have dropped it when the paintballers attacked us! Shit!

Hung: Hey, is this it?

Eric: [calmly] That's it.

[pause]

Eric: Whoo. Thank god.

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Hung: 'Tis a cruel act of the gods to waste such a sweet backside on such a filthy beast.

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Ronnie Kwok: [sung] And your appeasement of the gods of Vincebus...

[normal voice]

Ronnie Kwok: have failed.

Eric: What? Seven blood packs not enough, Ronnie?

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Eric: Fear not, Sir Reginald, for I have just the magic needed. Excuse me, while I whipeth this out.

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Hung: We'll be back, you redneck cocksuckers. This I vow.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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