The Stranger: Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna go home, you're gonna kiss your wife, and you're gonna tell her that ya love her.
Lance Reed: 'kay. That sounds good so far. Anything else?
The Stranger: That's it. Oh, but you're never to mention the fact that you know she fucked your brother. You're not gonna yell at her, you're not gonna leave her, you're gonna spend the rest of your life with her - and every time you kiss her, you're gonna know that your brother shot a huge wad down her throat.
The Stranger: Do you think I'm stupid?
Lance Reed: No, I think you're psychotic, but the real question is how the fuck can you hear me?
Detective Williams: Fifty bucks says she's in the freezer and she bit his finger off...
Detective Roebuck: Ouch.
Detective Williams: ...while he was cutting off her head.
The Stranger: I'll tell you what's left, buddy-boy - YOU! And I am gonna keep taking from you until I get what I want.
Detective Williams: Lance, what happened to your hand?
Lance Reed: Oh, that was just another accident.
Detective Roebuck: What? What happened?
Lance Reed: The, um - what was it? - the-the frickin' lawnmower again. Can you believe it?
Detective Williams: Lance, do you even know how to operate a lawnmower?
Detective Roebuck: There are blades underneath that chop grass. Don't put your hand down there.
Detective Williams: And who's gonna blow you, anyway?
Detective Roebuck: Your fat, balding mama.
Detective Williams: Yeah. She probably would.
Detective Williams: You gotta admit, dude, those schizos are the best.
The Stranger: It's amazing the shit you can get off eBay these days for just $89.99.
Lance Reed: Listen, I will get so freaky with you if you let me go. Oh, I promise. You-you-you be Conrad Bain, I'll be little Arnold, and I will do things with that beard you never thought possible.