Jack Donaghy: I've been finger tagged, Lemon.
Liz Lemon: Was it down by the subway entrance because I saw a gangly looking kid down there?
Danny Baker: I'm sorry, are you being sarcastic? Canadians have a hard time recognizing it 'cause we don't have a big Jewish population.
Tracy Jordan: Why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays? I'll tell you why: because the Pope owns Long John Silver's.
Jenna Maroney: Sometimes, my mom would take us to see Santa Claus, but that's just because she suspected one of them was my deadbeat dad. So, I'd have to get on every Santa's lap in the Bakersfield area and scream, 'You oughta be ashamed of yourself, Travis!'
Toofer: Kenneth is doing a Secret Santa fun swap thing!
Frank Rossitano: Urgh, he takes the 2 worst parts of Christmas, giving and rules and combines them!
Kenneth Parcell: [Flash back] And then the person with the highest number gives the smallest gift to the tallest person and if they want to switch they cannot unless they do then everyone puts their head down except the murderer - oh wait that's not right.
Frank Rossitano: The whole thing was so confusing I ended up getting my crappy gift back, like I need 2 copies of over 60 Vixens