The Guard (2011)
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I'm Irish. Racism is part of my culture.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, these men are armed and dangerous, and you being an FBI agent you're more used to shooting at unarmed women and children...
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh, fuck you, Sergeant!
FBI agent Wendell Everett: You know, I can't tell if you're really motherfuckin' dumb, or really motherfuckin' smart.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: What are you reading?
Eileen Boyle: Oh.
[Shows Oblomov by Ivan Goncharov]
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Never got into the Russians. They take too long getting to the fecking point.
Eileen Boyle: Not even Dostoevsky, no?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Come on now, he was the main offender.
Gerry Stanton: [while Clive Cornell is handing the bent coppers a briefcase of money] It's all there, yeah?
Clive Cornell: Excuse me?
Gerry Stanton: It's all there?
Clive Cornell: No, it's not. I've skimmed a couple of grand off the top.
Gerry Stanton: What?
Clive Cornell: 'Course it's fucking all there. This is the pay-off, yeah? We pay you off, you and your pals keep your fucking noses out of our business. That's the dynamic in this situation. Why the fuck would I then cheat you out your money? Eh? Why would I do that? That doesn't make any sense. That'd defeat the entire purpose of the fucking interaction. Fuck me!
[walks away angrily]
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [Sergeant Boyle and FBI agent Wendell are driving at night. Boyle asks a question in a friendly manner, idle chat as getting to know each other. FBI agent answers] Two boys. Stocken is five years old and Hughie has just turned three months old. I've got a picture of them.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [agent seems confused] Excuse me?
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [straight faced copper explains] I don't want to see it. Babies all look the same. The only time a baby doesn't look like every other baby is when it's a really ugly baby. So unless you're about to show me a photo of a really ugly baby then I don't want to see it.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: That's pretty fucking rude.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Maybe it is maybe it isn't.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Listen, something's come up, and I'm not just talking about my cock.
Garda Aidan McBride: I'm on it sarge.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: "I'm on it Sarge." He thinks he's in fuckin' Detroit.
Garda Aidan McBride: [Sergent Boyle is stroking the crotch of the dead victim] I don't think that's appropriate.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Why don't you fuck off to America with your appropriate, fuckin' Barrack Obama.
Gabriela McBride: He's gay. Like when one man put's his...
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I'm familiar with the mechanics of it, yea.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: You have anybody you want me to call?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Nah, I don't have anybody. Just pin a medal on my body like those boys coming home from Iraq.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Fuck you again Sergeant.
Francis Sheehy: Who was up there firing that cannon?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: The FBI lad, probably hadn't had this much fun since they burned all those kids up in Waco.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: This is a Gaelic speaking region. Did they not teach you that at Langley?
FBI agent Wendell Everett: No, they did not teach us that at Langley. For the simple fact that Langley is the CIA, you idiot, not the FBI!
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I thought black people couldn't ski. Or is that swimming?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I thought only black lads were drug dealers?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Like the fat man said, if you have to be careful not to drink too much, it's because you're not to be trusted when you do.
Detective: Like a donkey fucking a hippopotamus, it's party time.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I'm Irish sir. Racism is part of my culture.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Are the lights growing dim?
Liam O'Leary: Don't mock me.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: It's good enough for ya.
Liam O'Leary: There's so many... so many things I wanted to do.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Like what for fuck's sake? Running with the bulls at Pamplona?
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: You've taken' somethin'.
Eugene Moloney: I have not.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: You've taken somethin'. You didn't even act surprised, for fuck sake!
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [at a house during Boyle's "day off"] How you doin', ma'am. Special Agent Wendell Everett, Federal Bureau of Investigation. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?
Woman at Bartley's House: [in Irish] Bartley! There's a black man at the door!
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh. You don't... you don't speak any English, huh?
Bartley: [in Irish] What can I do for you?
FBI agent Wendell Everett: And... *you* don't speak any English.
Bartley: [in Irish] This is Ireland. Go over to England if you want to speak English.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: I just wanna show you a few pictures, see if you've... seen any of these men in the last few days? This gentleman...
Bartley: [in Irish] No, I haven't. And even if I had, I wouldn't tell you. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have to fix this lamp. It was a birthday present from my aunt in Australia. Good day to you.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: ...is there anyone else here I -
[door is shut in his face]
Garda Aidan McBride: You got a call from Galway. You're to head in tonight to attend a briefing from a fella who's over from the FBI. Special Agent Wendell Everett.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: So what?
Garda Aidan McBride: Maybe it's about the murder. Maybe he's got a psychological profile on the killer or something.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: It's drug smuggling. Either that or they've had another fuckin' sighting of Whitey Bulger at some fuckin' museum.