When her mother disappears, Clary Fray learns that she descends from a line of warriors who protect our world from demons. She joins forces with others like her and heads into a dangerous alternate New York called Downworld.
When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie will risk everything to protect the people she cares most about, proving that love can conquer all in a dangerous new world.
Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, half human-half vampire, a guardian of the Moroi, peaceful, mortal vampires living discreetly within our world. Her calling is to protect the Moroi from bloodthirsty, immortal Vampires, the Strigoi.
Rosie and Alex have been best friends since they were 5, so they couldn't possibly be right for one another...or could they? When it comes to love, life and making the right choices, these two are their own worst enemies.
Set in contemporary New York City, a seemingly ordinary teenager, Clary Fray, discovers she is the descendant of a line of Shadowhunters, a secret cadre of young half-angel warriors locked in an ancient battle to protect our world from demons. After the disappearance of her mother, Clary must join forces with a group of Shadowhunters, who introduce her to a dangerous alternate New York called Downworld, filled with demons, warlocks, vampires, werewolves and other deadly creatures. Written by
Sony Pictures Entertainment
You know, I really wanted to give The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones a fair shake. I mean, it LOOKED like another Twilight clone...it SOUNDED like another Twilight clone...it even FELT like a Twilight clone. (Don't ask me how I know how it felt.) But, I was determined not to judge a book by it's movie (ha!), and went to see City of Bones last night.
It's a Twilight clone. And a terrible one, at that.
Listen, it's clear that this type of movie has an audience, and I am by no means a typical member of that audience. On top of that, I am not familiar at all with the books. But none of that should matter - a movie should have enough merit to be watchable by anyone, even outside of the usual demographic. And this was nearly UNWATCHABLE.
Let's try to do pros and cons. This should be fun...
Lily Collins, the main character and poor man's Kristen Stewart, was
also in Priest...one of the lowest-scored movies in BDBOS history. So...she's consistent.
You know those people who ALWAYS say, "The book was waaay better than
the movie"? Again, never read them myself, but I can't imagine the books being ANY WORSE THAN THIS, so at least that will be an easy argument to win.
Lena Headey, aka 300's Queen of the Spartans, still gets to kick a
little bit of ass.
I've read that a considerable amount of the book was cut from the
movie, simply because it was impossible to fit everything into a 2-hour film. I feel like whatever was cut from the book would have made a better 2 hours of movie. So many plot holes, so many needlessly unanswered questions, so many things that DON'T MAKE A GODDAMN BIT OF SENSE.
Twilight did this already. If you're a Twilight person, you've seen
this movie already. Awkward, ordinary teenaged girl, thrust into a secret world where supernatural beings battle each other, and gaining multiple One-Direction-looking love interests along the way. If you told me that this movie was really called "Twilight: The Other New Moon's Eclipse At Dawn", I'd believe you without argument.
In God's name, WHY IS THERE AN IMAX VERSION OF THIS??? STOP IT,
Hollywood. It's hard enough to justify watching 2 dimensions of this crap.
This movie might actually be cheezier than Twilight. Terrible one-
liners, public shows of affection at awkward times, and a plot twist that will make you feel REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE about things you saw previously in the film.
When the audience (which was practically empty in my theater, by the
way) starts laughing at parts of the movie that aren't supposed to be funny...you have a problem.
It's over 2 hours long...and you'll feel EVERY LAST MINUTE of it.
City Of Bones scores a 1 out of 5 on the BDBOS, and should not be watched by human eyes. Vampires and werewolves should probably stay away, too.
(Hey my peoples. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this review, then perhaps you'd consider checking out my humble little page... www.facebook.com/TheBDBOS. Stop by and say wussup!)
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