When her mother disappears, Clary Fray learns that she descends from a line of warriors who protect our world from demons. She joins forces with others like her and heads into a dangerous alternate New York called Downworld.
Faced with an enemy that even Odin and Asgard cannot withstand, Thor must embark on his most perilous and personal journey yet, one that will reunite him with Jane Foster and force him to sacrifice everything to save us all.
Raised on the streets of turn-of-the century London, orphaned Peter and his pals survive by their fearless wits as cunning young pickpockets. Now, they've been rounded up by their mentor ... See full summary »
Gwendolyn Shepherd is actually a very normal 16-year-old teen. What's annoying is that her family definitely has a tad too many secrets. They all have to do with the time-travel gene that ... See full summary »
A younger and more reluctant Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out on an "unexpected journey" to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of Dwarves to reclaim their stolen mountain home from a dragon named Smaug.
Set in contemporary New York City, a seemingly ordinary teenager, Clary Fray (Lily Collins), discovers she is the descendant of a line of Shadowhunters, a secret cadre of young half-angel warriors locked in an ancient battle to protect our world from demons. After the disappearance of her mother (Lena Headey), Clary must join forces with a group of Shadowhunters, who introduce her to a dangerous alternate New York called Downworld, filled with demons, warlocks, vampires, werewolves and other deadly creatures. Based on the worldwide best-selling book series. Written by
Sony Pictures Entertainment
Jocelyn slams the refrigerator door repeatedly when she is attacked in the kitchen, you see shelves fall off and bottles go with the shelves, when Clary sets the fire and uses the door to protect herself, the shelves and contents are back where they should be. See more »
Don't tell me. You've got a drawing emergency, and you need a nude model. I'm not in the mood.
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You know, I really wanted to give The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones a fair shake. I mean, it LOOKED like another Twilight clone...it SOUNDED like another Twilight clone...it even FELT like a Twilight clone. (Don't ask me how I know how it felt.) But, I was determined not to judge a book by it's movie (ha!), and went to see City of Bones last night.
It's a Twilight clone. And a terrible one, at that.
Listen, it's clear that this type of movie has an audience, and I am by no means a typical member of that audience. On top of that, I am not familiar at all with the books. But none of that should matter - a movie should have enough merit to be watchable by anyone, even outside of the usual demographic. And this was nearly UNWATCHABLE.
Let's try to do pros and cons. This should be fun...
Lily Collins, the main character and poor man's Kristen Stewart, was
also in Priest...one of the lowest-scored movies in BDBOS history. So...she's consistent.
You know those people who ALWAYS say, "The book was waaay better than
the movie"? Again, never read them myself, but I can't imagine the books being ANY WORSE THAN THIS, so at least that will be an easy argument to win.
Lena Headey, aka 300's Queen of the Spartans, still gets to kick a
little bit of ass.
I've read that a considerable amount of the book was cut from the
movie, simply because it was impossible to fit everything into a 2-hour film. I feel like whatever was cut from the book would have made a better 2 hours of movie. So many plot holes, so many needlessly unanswered questions, so many things that DON'T MAKE A GODDAMN BIT OF SENSE.
Twilight did this already. If you're a Twilight person, you've seen
this movie already. Awkward, ordinary teenaged girl, thrust into a secret world where supernatural beings battle each other, and gaining multiple One-Direction-looking love interests along the way. If you told me that this movie was really called "Twilight: The Other New Moon's Eclipse At Dawn", I'd believe you without argument.
In God's name, WHY IS THERE AN IMAX VERSION OF THIS??? STOP IT,
Hollywood. It's hard enough to justify watching 2 dimensions of this crap.
This movie might actually be cheezier than Twilight. Terrible one-
liners, public shows of affection at awkward times, and a plot twist that will make you feel REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE about things you saw previously in the film.
When the audience (which was practically empty in my theater, by the
way) starts laughing at parts of the movie that aren't supposed to be funny...you have a problem.
It's over 2 hours long...and you'll feel EVERY LAST MINUTE of it.
City Of Bones scores a 1 out of 5 on the BDBOS, and should not be watched by human eyes. Vampires and werewolves should probably stay away, too.
(Hey my peoples. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this review, then perhaps you'd consider checking out my humble little page... www.facebook.com/TheBDBOS. Stop by and say wussup!)
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