Sharona Fleming: Hello, Adrian.
Adrian Monk: [confused] What year is this?
Sharona Fleming: Umm... I am still in Jersey, and I'm nursing again.
Adrian Monk: Really?
Sharona Fleming: Mm-hmm.
Adrian Monk: But isn't Benjy 17?
Sharona Fleming: No... I'm working as a nurse.
Adrian Monk: Oh, well, that's different.
Adrian Monk: Hey.
Sharona Fleming: Mm.
Adrian Monk: You still got it.
Sharona Fleming: It's like riding a bike.
Adrian Monk: Oh, man.
Sharona Fleming: A very clean, very unusual, very sad bike.
Adrian Monk: I got this myself. Okay, she got me the wipe. It's just a wipe. I mean, come on. There's nothing going on. Sometimes a wipe is just a wipe. I'm talking too much. Am I still taking now? God, I'm still talking.
Natalie Teeger: You paid her $20 a week more than me.
Adrian Monk: She had a kid!
Natalie Teeger: I have a kid!
Adrian Monk: Her kid ate more.
Sharona Fleming: Do you mind if she calls you "Adrian?"
Adrian Monk: Of course not. Why would I mind?
Natalie Teeger: Okay. Adrian.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, see I don't like it either.
Natalie Teeger: Me neither.
Adrian Monk: She didn't mean anything. Nobody means anything.
Sharona Fleming: "Nobody means anything." What does that mean?
Adrian Monk: Doesn't mean anything
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I love Natalie. And I love Sharona, too. They're wonderful women. You got lucky twice. But together they're like bourbon and vodka. I love them both, but I can't have them at the same meal because they don't mix. These women are so different, Monk. They're going to tear you apart like a piece of saltwater taffy.
Adrian Monk: I know, I've been a piece of taffy all day. Natalie's been acting like Mary, Queen of Scotts. She wants more money. I mean, she won't lay down in the dirt when I ask her. I'm losing her.
Sharona Fleming: Well, I don't believe it. You're not perfect. You could be wrong.
Adrian Monk: Maybe, but I'm not.
[Monk, Natalie and Sharona try to argue as to the best way up to the ninth floor]
Natalie Teeger: How about this? It's the ninth floor, right? Let's take the elevator up to four and then walk up five flights.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, that sounds fair.
Sharona Fleming: Or we take the elevator up to level five and walk four flights.
Adrian Monk: Can't argue with that.
Sharona Fleming: You treat him like a child.
Natalie Teeger: He's not a child.
Sharona Fleming: I did not say he's a child. I said you're treating him like a child.
Natalie Teeger: Oh, *I'm* being supportive.
Sharona Fleming: No, you're not being supportive. You're enabling him.
Adrian Monk: Okay, here's what we gonna do. We're going to take the elevator up to 18 and walk down nine flights. That way everybody's miserable.
[as a consequence, they show up at Walsh's apartment practically out of breath]
Natalie Teeger: Well, he can't go too far. he can't sleep without his Trudy pillow.
Sharona Fleming: Or that special red toothbrush.
Natalie Teeger: Or his little flossing kit.
Sharona Fleming: Or the sound machine with that foghorn noise.
Natalie Teeger: Actually, that one broke. And they discontinued the model.
Sharona Fleming: Really? What did you do?
Natalie Teeger: I went out and bought an actual foghorn and made my own tape. I'm not kidding. I have an actual foghorn sitting in my garage.