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"Monk" Mr. Monk and Sharona (TV Episode 2009) Poster

(TV Series)

(2009)

Quotes

Sharona Fleming: Hello, Adrian.

Adrian Monk: [confused] What year is this?

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Sharona Fleming: Umm... I am still in Jersey, and I'm nursing again.

Adrian Monk: Really?

Sharona Fleming: Mm-hmm.

Adrian Monk: But isn't Benjy 17?

Sharona Fleming: No... I'm working as a nurse.

Adrian Monk: Oh, well, that's different.

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Adrian Monk: Hey.

Sharona Fleming: Mm.

Adrian Monk: You still got it.

Sharona Fleming: It's like riding a bike.

Adrian Monk: Oh, man.

Sharona Fleming: A very clean, very unusual, very sad bike.

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Adrian Monk: I got this myself. Okay, she got me the wipe. It's just a wipe. I mean, come on. There's nothing going on. Sometimes a wipe is just a wipe. I'm talking too much. Am I still taking now? God, I'm still talking.

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Natalie Teeger: You paid her $20 a week more than me.

Adrian Monk: She had a kid!

Natalie Teeger: I have a kid!

Adrian Monk: Her kid ate more.

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Sharona Fleming: Do you mind if she calls you "Adrian?"

Adrian Monk: Of course not. Why would I mind?

Natalie Teeger: Okay. Adrian.

Adrian Monk: Yeah, see I don't like it either.

Natalie Teeger: Me neither.

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Adrian Monk: She didn't mean anything. Nobody means anything.

Sharona Fleming: "Nobody means anything." What does that mean?

Adrian Monk: Doesn't mean anything

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Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I love Natalie. And I love Sharona, too. They're wonderful women. You got lucky twice. But together they're like bourbon and vodka. I love them both, but I can't have them at the same meal because they don't mix. These women are so different, Monk. They're going to tear you apart like a piece of saltwater taffy.

Adrian Monk: I know, I've been a piece of taffy all day. Natalie's been acting like Mary, Queen of Scotts. She wants more money. I mean, she won't lay down in the dirt when I ask her. I'm losing her.

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Sharona Fleming: Well, I don't believe it. You're not perfect. You could be wrong.

Adrian Monk: Maybe, but I'm not.

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[Monk, Natalie and Sharona try to argue as to the best way up to the ninth floor]

Natalie Teeger: How about this? It's the ninth floor, right? Let's take the elevator up to four and then walk up five flights.

Adrian Monk: Yeah, that sounds fair.

Sharona Fleming: Or we take the elevator up to level five and walk four flights.

Adrian Monk: Can't argue with that.

Sharona Fleming: You treat him like a child.

Natalie Teeger: He's not a child.

Sharona Fleming: I did not say he's a child. I said you're treating him like a child.

Natalie Teeger: Oh, *I'm* being supportive.

Sharona Fleming: No, you're not being supportive. You're enabling him.

Adrian Monk: Okay, here's what we gonna do. We're going to take the elevator up to 18 and walk down nine flights. That way everybody's miserable.

[as a consequence, they show up at Walsh's apartment practically out of breath]

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Natalie Teeger: Well, he can't go too far. he can't sleep without his Trudy pillow.

Sharona Fleming: Or that special red toothbrush.

Natalie Teeger: Or his little flossing kit.

Sharona Fleming: Or the sound machine with that foghorn noise.

Natalie Teeger: Actually, that one broke. And they discontinued the model.

Sharona Fleming: Really? What did you do?

Natalie Teeger: I went out and bought an actual foghorn and made my own tape. I'm not kidding. I have an actual foghorn sitting in my garage.

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Natalie Teeger: [Natalie opens a drawer full of condoms] Uncle Howie liked the ladies.

Adrian Monk: How do you know?

Natalie Teeger: [Natalie closes the drawer quickly] Trust me, he *liked* the ladies!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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