King Julien: [Voiceover] But those baboons, they would not listen to sabotage... I mean, reason.
Darla: Did you drop that fuzzy bag of stank into our habitat?
King Julien: That is a wild accusation!
Darla: Y'all saying you didn't do it?
King Julien: Oh, no, I did it. I just think the accusation is... wild!
Darla: Uh-huh. Now I'm gonna say this slow, because I can tell y'all got a bad case of the stupids...
King Julien: Maurice, how did she see the royal medical report?
Darla: Y'all apologize for skunking us, or my gals and I are gonna make us a couple of lemur coats.
Mort: Ooh, can I have one?
[Maurice whispers in Mort's ear]
Mort: I cancel my order.
Mort: [Pops out of briefcase] Case open! REPLACE WITH:
King Julien: Without the electrically power, the zoo has now become... a jungle! And who is the king of the jungle?
King Julien: Okay, I'll give you a hint. He is also the king of the zoo and the outlying mid-town area. And it is me. Okay, no more hints.
Skipper: Negative! There is no such thing as jungle law.
King Julien: Oh, really? Perhaps everyone here might want to hear the opinionings of a certified jungle lawyer.
Maurice: [Wearing a tie and seating next to a briefcase, reading some papers] Ahem. All hail King Julien! Case closed.
Mort: [Pops out of briefcase] Case open!
Skipper: This is going to end very badly for you, Your Majesty. And when this jungle law does fail, I will have four sweet, sweet words for you.
King Julien: Oh! "I love King Julien"?
Skipper: No. "I told you so."
Skipper: Ah, King Ringtail. I believe I owe you some words.
Kowalski: In random order, they are: told, I, so, you.
Skipper: Allow me to unscramble.
Private: It's okay, Mort. We're not going to hurt you.
Skipper: Not true, Private. I did authorize lethal force.
King Julien: I demand to talk to my jungle lawyer!
Maurice: Dude with a briefcase?
[Kicks briefcase aside]
Maurice: Haven't seen him.
Skipper: Attention, panicky mob! Clearly this is phase one in the space squid invasion. I'd advise you all to keep your heads. Space squids always start with the heads.
Marlene: Space squids? Guys, I think we're just having a blackout.
Skipper: That's just what the space squids want us to think, Marlene... if you truly are Marlene.
Mason: No, I believe she's right. The entire city is suspiciously dark.
Skipper: Well, I guess that's a perfectly logical explanation for... Hiyah!
[Grabs Marlene by the ankles and shakes her upside down]
Skipper: Show... your... tentacles... you... squid... spy!
Marlene: Ow! What the...! Let go!
Skipper: Her story checks out.
Skipper: Ah, hobby day. It's like taking a regular day and making it a Saturday.
Private: But Skipper, it is Saturday.
Skipper: Hmm, it's working already.
Skipper: This better be life or death, Ringtail, or we can arrange those stakes.
Skipper: [starts dancing] That ain't right! Kowalski, analysis.
Kowalski: Skipper, you seem to be shaking your booty.
Private: Quite impressively, I might add.
Skipper: I'm not doing this. Something's making me dance.
King Julien: You... you have my groove! It is not all bye-byed after all! Yes!
Skipper: Get it outta me!
King Julien: I don't know how.
Darla: Guess who does.
Mort: Is it Santa?
Darla: Yea... what? No! I'm the only one who can fix this. But am I gonna?
Mort: Santa would.
Darla: Well, I ain't Santa!
Private: What if Julien apologized?
Darla: That's all I'm asking.
King Julien: Have I not made my policy on apologizing clear? It is for the weak and wrong.
Skipper: Listen, Ringtail. I'm about to show you how weak and wrong you are. Apologize now.
King Julien: Uh-uh.
Skipper: Okay then. Let's dance!
Kowalski: I can't look away from the raw, savage splendor!
Private: I want to cry, but I don't know if it's because I've never seen anything so beautiful, or anything so horrifying.
Skipper: I don't get it. What in the world made me shake my tailfeathers like that?
Private: Maybe Darla's magic was real.
Kowalski: Don't be ridiculous, Private. Cold, hard science negates even the possibility of magic.
Private: Okay, then maybe Skipper has a dancer buried deep inside him.
Skipper: Magic's real. Case closed.
Kowalski: But science...
Skipper: Nope, I said case closed.
Skipper: Rigth, men. Jungle law has stunk up our zoo long enough. Time to apply some penguin-scented disinfectant to this mess.
Skipper: Well, Ringtail, I believe it's time I said a few words.
Private: Oh, no. He wouldn't. Not now.
Skipper: I... told... you... that this plan was brilliant!
King Julien: Say what?
Skipper: What his Majesty knew was that the biggest danger in a crisis situation was blind panic. So he set up this post-apocalyptic-wasteland scenario to keep our minds off of the blackout. Genius!
Private: Skipper, you gave up an "I told you so." That's the most noble thing I've ever seen.
Skipper: Sometimes, Private, you just have to set your sights a little higher.
King Julien: Yes! Praise me, for I am so much greater than any penguin could ever be!
Skipper: Rico, set the sights a little higher.
[Rico launches a watermelon from a catapult; it lands on Julien]
King Julien: Aah! I've been meloned!
Skipper: All hail the king.
Burt: [attacking King Julien] Peanut head! Peanut head!
Kowalski: We're only here to talk, friend. Straight turkey, no judgements.
Maurice: Are you crazy? The dude's head doesn't even look like a peanut!
King Julien: What? How dare you insult my gloriously peanut-shaped head!
[Burt sticks his trunk over Julien's head]
Kowalski: Oh, golly!
Maurice: That ain't right.
King Julien: [after being taken out of Burt's trunk] I have seen my entire life and many gigantic nose nuggets pass before my eyes. Thank the sky spirits that's over.