Stefan Salvatore: Katherine and Elena may look the same on the outside, but on the inside they are completely different.
Lexi: Oh, so Elena's not a raging bitch then, huh?
Lexi: Ah. The famous Elena.
Elena Gilbert: Towel girl.
Lexi: I've been called worse. Here.
[Lexi hands Elena a shot of alcohol]
Elena Gilbert: I didn't know that you guys could drink.
Lexi: Oh, yeah. It helps curb the cravings. But... makes for a lot of lushy vamps.
Elena Gilbert: You know, I've never seen Stefan drunk. He always seems so...
Elena Gilbert: Yeah.
Elena Gilbert: But not with you.
Lexi: Well, that's the benefit of knowing someone for over a hundred years. You can just be yourself.
Elena Gilbert: Yeah, he can't be himself with me.
Lexi: Well, not yet. The first step was him telling you. The rest comes with time.
Elena Gilbert: You seem so sure.
Lexi: The love of my life was human. He went through what I imagine you're going through: denial, anger, et cetera. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.
Jeremy Gilbert: Wanna keep it down over there?
Jenna Sommers: Why, what are you doing?
Jeremy Gilbert: Homework.
Elena Gilbert: Since when do you do homework?
Jeremy Gilbert: I gotta finish this. I'm way behind, and I have a quiz tomorrow, so...
Elena Gilbert: What do you think... alien?
Jenna Sommers: Some sort of replicant.
Jeremy Gilbert: He can hear you.
Damon Salvatore: I have a diabolical master plan.
Lexi: What is it?
Damon Salvatore: Well if I told you, it wouldn't be very diabolical, now would it?
Stefan Salvatore: Lexi?
Stefan Salvatore: What are you doing here?
Lexi: How could you even ask that?
Stefan Salvatore: I missed you.
Lexi: Happy birthday.
Stefan Salvatore: Elena is... Elena's warm. And she's... she's kind and she's caring and she's selfless... and it's real. And... honestly, when I'm around her... I completely forget what I am.
Lexi: Oh my God! You're in love with her.
Stefan Salvatore: Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Stefan Salvatore: He killed Zach, he killed Tanner, he turned Vikki. I have to kill him.
Damon Salvatore: What an unexpected surprise.
Lexi: Unexpected surprise? I think the wrong brother went back to high school.
Damon Salvatore: Why are you so mean to me?
Lexi: Uh, have you met you? You're not a nice person.
Damon Salvatore: Because I'm a vampire.
Lexi: But you're only the bad parts.
Damon Salvatore: [teasing] Teach me to be good.
Stefan Salvatore: [to Damon, after staking him and missing his heart on purpose] You saved my life. Now I'm sparing yours. We're even.
Jenna Sommers: [plopping on the couch] You're wallowing.
Elena Gilbert: So are you.
Jenna Sommers: My wallow is legitimate. I was dumped.
Elena Gilbert: Yeah... well. Logan is a jerk.
Jenna Sommers: You didn't get a brush-off e-mail say: "I'm leaving town. See ya."
Lexi: So this Elena girl. She'll come around. I'm sure of it. Have you had sex yet?
Stefan Salvatore: No.
Lexi: Sex always works. I mean you'll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, she'll be yours forever.
Stefan Salvatore: Yeah, but see, this isn't about sex or... or compulsion or any of our other tricks. She has to want to be with me on her own terms.
Lexi: Wow. That sounded all mature and grown up.
Stefan Salvatore: [smiling] I'm not getting any old.