Silver Surfer: [tangled up in elastic straps] Wolverine, I am having much difficulty wearing these suspenders!
Wolverine: Maybe it's 'cause that takes pants...
Silver Surfer: Pants! That is it!
[begins panting heavily like a dog]
Silver Surfer: I feel them working already!
Hulk: Hulk love pet. Hulk name pet... uh, uh, PLANT!
Iron Man: Good, cuz that's what it is. Now, to care for it, first you have to give your plant plenty of sun.
Hulk: Mmm? Ya, ya, ya!
[tosses plant out Helicarrier window into sunlight]
Hulk: Now Plant get plenty of sun!
Iron Man: Okay. So much more green thumbs.
[hands Hulk new flower]
Iron Man: Here, your plant will also need water.
[Hulk rips plumbing from floor and waters flowers]
Iron Man: Oh...
Wolverine: 'Preciate the reassignment, Cap.
Captain America: Oh, think nothing of it, Wolverine. You're doing me a favor. There's been an international incident, and my team could use you.
Wolverine: Really? Who we bringin' the hurt to?
Captain America: The South American rainforests.
Wolverine: Uh, but... don't they usually need saving?
Captain America: Uh, usually, but these trees attack everything in their path. I'm assembling the All Captains Squad to get to the ROOTS of the problem.
Wolverine: Uh, hate to tell you, Captain, but I ain't no captain.
Captain America: Well you are now. Welcome to the squad, Captain Canada! Here's your new uniform. Suit up. We'll talk at HQ.
Wolverine: [chuckles at campy uniform] Uh, not gonna happen, Bub.
Captain America: Right-e-o. I'll get you back to that helicarrier, A-S-A-P.
Wolverine: Uh, wait... no, no, no, that's fine.
Wolverine: [walking in new Captain Canada costume and adjusting briefs] Ugh, blasted flag pajamas ride right up!
Captain Liechtenstein: [Wolverine/Captain Canada cuts a cord down to make himself a swing to sit on] Ach! Destruction of SHIELD property! That is against regulation PH330. It is italicized!
Wolverine: [chuckles] You're forgetting rule #1, Bub - I don't care.
Captain Australia: [pushes money jar across table] Right then. Cough up a buck, mate.
Captain Brazil: [Wolverine growls and ejects claws] Don't be upset, Captain Canada. It's the no-arguing-between-Captains jar. Every time someone fights, they pay a dollar.
Wolverine: [sighs] Somethin' tells me I better put in a twenty.
Reptil: [after just being made a Squad member] You won't be disappointed, Iron Man. So whatcha got for me? A secret mission? An assignment behind enemy lines?
Iron Man: Grocery shopping. We're out of cereal.
Reptil: But that's 'cause Hulk keeps ripping apart the boxes to find the stupid toys inside.
Iron Man: Ha, you wanna explain that to him?
Dr. Doom: A new villain has been made known to Doom. It is vital that he is cooperative to our plans. He may be a powerful ally.
Abomination: Yeah, like the one we're standing in.
M.O.D.O.K.: That's an alley, idiot! Alley!