Dr. Martin Ellingham: [During a house call] Squeeze. No, you're not having a stroke.
Mr Routledge: Then why do I feel as if I am?
Dr. Martin Ellingham: Because you're a mentally deranged time-waster. It's Sod's Law that states the one time I fail to attend is the one day you actually die.
Bert Large: How would you feel, if you lost your girl? Because if you're not careful, she's gonna leave you, toothbrush and all.
Al Large: [startled] What?
Bert Large: First off, you follow her around like a lamb.
Al Large: No, I don't.
Bert Large: Yes, you do, and Pauline don't like it.
Al Large: How do you know?
Bert Large: Because she told me not to tell you. And you're "seamy".
Al Large: I'm what?
Bert Large: "Seamy".
Al Large: I don't even know what that means, Dad.
Bert Large: Neither do I - but it's not good.