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|Index||12 reviews in total|
62 out of 69 people found the following review useful:
Everything That's Wrong With Children's Entertainment In One Awful Movie!, 28 August 2012
Author: JimmyBobo from United States
The Oogieloves In The Big Ballon Adventure is not only one of the worst movies i've ever seen, it's the worst children's movie i've ever seen! It's everything that's wrong with children's shows wrapped up into one movie. Having left the theater, i'm still incredibly shocked that a film this terrible got a theatrical release. First off, this is some of the laziest writing i've ever heard for a kids film. Just look at the characters names! Goobie, Zoozie, and Toofie! And if you think that's bad enough, just wait until you hear some of the supporting cast characters names. Rosalie Rosebud, Marvin Milkshake, and the worst of all is Carey Elwes character's name Bobby Wobbly. The saddest of all is Christopher Lloyds role which is just embarrassing. You can tell for the most part though that none of the supporting cast wanted to be there because they aren't even trying at all. The plot of the film is as simple as it gets. The Oogieloves have the collect the 5 magical balloons they've lost and get them back in time for this big party they are about to have. You can pretty much figure out the whole movie from just that one sentence. What ensues is some of the worst jokes i've ever heard in a film and a bunch of lame dance/musical numbers. Now the Oogieloves is being marketed as a "revolutionary interactive movie-going experience". However, there is nothing revolutionary or original about it. If you've seen Dora The Exploreor or anything show similar of that, then you've seen everything that Oogieloves has to offer. There is nothing new here to see, except the material being taken to a new low. The writing is some of the worst i've ever heard for a kids film with all of the jokes involving some sort of gross out gag or flatulence jokes. The musical numbers are also very bland and the songs are not catchy at all. However, I can't really say the film bored me because it just kept irritating me and making me more and more angry by how awful it was. The fact that this is what people are accepting for children's entertainment is shocking and is exactly why all kids entertainment these days sucks! Oh, and don't buy into the "Academy Award Nominated Director" crap either, Matthew Diamond was nominated for Best Documentary for a film that nobody saw. I really can't think of anything else to say about this film besides how awful it is. Please Parents, do not take your kids to see this film!
52 out of 57 people found the following review useful:
Terrible movie with some bogus reviews on IMDb!!!!, 1 September 2012
Author: MsMovie from United States
***UPDATE - Another bogus review added by someone who JUSt registered
and NEVER reviewed anything before, and still it's on 1.9!
***UPDATE*** Worst movie opening of ALL time - the American public speaks!
Firstly, I have a pre schooler and I watch a lot of kids movies and TV. Dora can be a little annoying at times to me, but I can see it's educational value and that it has a plot, a point, some thought went into the episodes.
The Oogieloves had a bad plot, bad writing, bad songs, bad acting and was quite frankly and insult to your average pre schooler.
One of the reviews here said it was for 8 years and under, and I say to that NO WAY IN HECK! You will not find a kid above 5 wanting to sit through this garbage.
It makes the lack lustre The Lorax (of which most would say the book was far superior), seem like it should have garnered numerous Oscars.
If I was a writer on this project I would have told them they didn't have to put my name in the credits, it's THAT awful.
NOW, to the bogus reviews - there are 5 here as of this moment - 1 is a good review by someone who has written a lot of reviews, so I can respect that they found something appealing in this pile of dross that I obviously didn't see. 2 are awful reviews like mine, written by people, like me, who have written other reviews.
Two of the reviews are bogus in my opinion, probably written by someone in connection to the movie, since neither of these people has EVER written a review on ANYTHING before. Does that scream fake review to you? Even with the bogus reviews this movie is only on a 2.2 so far, that should tell you it's just plain bad.
Don't even rent it from a Redbox, it's not even worth that much! Parents everywhere hear me, you're going to be happy in a couple of weeks because Finding Nemo is coming back to theaters, save your money and take the little guys to that - they haven't seen it on the big screen and it's even going to be 3D too, now THAT is a movie worth your movie ticket bucks.
I would have given this a zero with no qualms at all, except that there is no option for a zero out of ten!
48 out of 59 people found the following review useful:
The Worst Film of 2012, 31 August 2012
Author: jdennist from United States
If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd consider
putting myself up for adoption.
If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd fling fecal matter at the screen.
If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd throw a tantrum just to get taken out of the theater.
If I were 3 years old and had this garbage foisted on me...I'd never want to see another movie again.
This movie was not good.
Don't take your kids to see this garbage. There are TV shows far superior to this. There are classic movies far superior to this. Last year's Winnie The Pooh is perfect for kids. Show them that.
Not this sludge.
33 out of 34 people found the following review useful:
Horrible!, 1 September 2012
Author: misspjw from United States
This had to be the worst kids' movie I have ever seen in my life; my four year old and I we were the only two in the theater watching it today; she must have asked me 10 times if the movie was over and if it was time to go. The voices didn't match up to the film and the whole thing was a big old' mess. The songs were silly and not in a good, silly for kids way; just silly and meaningless. We missed the first few minutes, which I usually hate, but I think that save us a few more minutes of misery. Perhaps the glow stick had something to do with the beginning that we missed, but she kept asking me what it was for. I like the idea of kids being able to interact, and maybe if there had been someone else in the theater, she would have been motivated to get up, but it just didn't work.
14 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
Beyond belief!, 11 September 2012
Author: trfesok from United States
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
On the Sunday before Laobor Day, I took my 5 year old to see the loves" movie (as in, desperate parent needs something to distract child). There were 11 people in the theater, counting us. He, of course, adored it. I found it fascinating the way people find train wrecks interesting. Take the more bizarre aspects of the Wiggles and multiply them by 50, and you get the idea. I just sat with my jaw dropped through this thing, hardly believing what was on screen at virtually every point. Things like weirdly colored puppet people, lead characters such as a vacuum cleaner and a throw pillow, a cowboy with bubbles in his pants, a giant tulip, a flying sombrero powered by spastic dancing, and people like Toni Braxton and Christopher Lloyd totally humiliating themselves. It cost $20 mil to make, $40 mil to market, and has taken in $0.5 mil so far! I'm excited to be part of a historical event -- one of the few people to see in the theater one of the worst big budget bombs ever!
4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Beyond bad, 8 February 2013
Author: Fred from United States
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I only watched this movie (on video) because it was nominated for a
Razzie award. Unfortunately, this movie will not win worst movie since
so few people have seen it.
I understand that it's a kids movie and that the plot needs to be simple. It also needs to be a responsible movie and this movie is not. When the kid jumped out of the tree holding onto his magic balloon I actually yelled at the screen. This made my wife laugh, since she is the one usually talking to the television.
The only good thing that I can say about this movie is that the colors were very bright.
4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A danger to children's attention spans and their mental health, 6 February 2013
Author: Steve Pulaski from United States
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is the worst kind of film
you could ever show your young children. It's unsubstantial, witless,
lacks anything in the way of a lesson or a moral, too kiddish for even
the youngest viewer, and largely comprised of things that have been
proved unhealthy for your visual and auditory senses. It has been
reported by Box Office Mojo as having one of the worst opening weekends
for a film opening on more than 2,000 screens, with a dismal $102,564
and a final gross of $1.06 million. Against a $20 million budget (and
an extra $40 for marketing), this makes this one of the worst
performances for a film ever.
Our story is concerns Goobie, Zoozie, and Toofie, the three Oogieloves that exist in their own world, which is so colorful that is borders along the lines of nauseating. They are celebrating their pillow Schluufy's birthday, and plan to give him five bright gold balloons for his surprise party, which they plan to set up while he is sleeping. When J. Edgar (their vacuum cleaner friend) accidentally frees the balloons outside, they become scattered all over the whole mythical land, leaving the Oogieloves no choice but to get them back. They bounce in and out of colorfully artificial sets, running into people like Rosalie Rosebud, Dottie Rounder, Marvine Milkshake, Bobbly Wobbly, and Lero Sombrero.
That's all well and good, but would you believe those characters are played by none other than Toni Braxton, Cloris Leachman, Christopher Lloyd, Chazz Palminteri, Jamie Pressly, and Cary Elwes? If one thing is guaranteed to make your jaw drop when watching this film, whether it be the stunningly frothy atmosphere, the corny singalongs, or the inept nature of the characters, it will be the list of talent involved with this project. What could've been going through Chazz Palminteri's mind when he signed up for this film? He was the driving force behind the film adaptation for A Bronx Tale, an amazing coming of age story I'm sure those who attended The Oogieloves won't go on to see. To give him credit, he plays his role with convincing motivation, but witnessing him batting dopey milkshake puns and dancing around the milkshake diner, concocting cockamamie shakes filled with peppermint, chili, pickles, and other ingredients is one of the most dreadful things I've ever seen a talented actor succumb to. And I saw Movie 43, mind you.
Let's talk about the box office performance of this film. Normally, if I catch a film on DVD, when all its financial information is already public and mostly complete, I shy away from explaining it because it usually has nothing to do with the quality of the film at hand. It's not worth mentioning, per say. Yet we need to talk about how The Oogieloves performed theatrically. I already wrote an entire blog when this film was in its theatrical run about how this film's dismal performance was either an indication of the end of August being a generally poor time to release a film (kids are going back to school, adults are generally rushed, and time is fleeting) or a smart public. Both of those, I believe, are big factors, but one of the biggest ones is the lack of an introduction on these characters or "Oogieloves." Think about it. Films like the Rugrats trilogy, The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, and The Wild Thornberry's Movie succeeded largely due to their name and familiarity amongst elementary schoolers and maybe those of selective age groups. The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is marketing characters nobody knows to a demographic that still can't completely influence their parents to take them to the cinema to watch the film of their choice. Usually, the parents decide the film and see if the child has any dissenting remarks. The Oogieloves were not introduced to the public prior to this unexpected movie adventure, and with no prior consumer knowledge via an album debut, a TV special, a TV show, books, etc, this was a project doomed from the start. Why was $60 million invested into this? The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure was marketed as an "interactive" movie feature, allowing children to fearlessly speak to the characters in the film, get up and dance on que, or openly talk during the picture. During the course of this eighty-one minute endeavor, ten songs are played, hoping to get children out of their seats and on their feet dancing. What is played are some of the most redundant, idiotic, monotonous songs that showcase nothing but maddening tedium. If there was any prior music released by the Oogieloves prior to this film I'd hate to hear it. The theatrics, too, never stem past costumed-humans dancing robotically back and forth to the music, and in a day and age where computer animation can create an army of one-thousand characters to dance and sing simultaneously, this return to primitive style is lame and relatively bland.
To bring things to a simple close, The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is a harmful, harmful film to show young children. Films like this give kids nothing but a shorter attention span and an energy level that can easily be adopted off of caffeine and fast food. Taking your child to see this film will do nothing to make them smarter, better, and will do nothing to further them in any way shape or form. Taking them to see films like Brave, Cars, Shrek, Toy Story, or Wreck-It Ralph fuel their minds with creative energy, giving them a lust for life, adventure, and fun. This is one of the most appalling films released in some time for all the wrong reasons.
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Horrible...should not be rated G -- should not have ever been made!, 6 February 2013
Author: Beth Lowrimore (email@example.com) from United States
This movie, is not only an insult to a 3 year old. However the provocativeness, and "sex appeal" in it is absurd! What 3 year old wants to see someone kiss a fish and say "holy mackerel" or the Rose princes sing about scratching her thighs ? I am disgusted that this movie was even made, more or less considered a G rated movie for children. EVEN Barney doesn't have sexual type suggestions! I am very upset and disappointed in Lionsgate for making this, I am very open to most things, however when I watched this, I was embarrassed at some of the scenes. Would not recommend this to anyone. I see now why I tend to stay with Disney and Sprout's programing!
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
...I saw it., 24 February 2013
Author: Scott Sonoma (TheSonomaDude) from United States
That's right guys, I actually found and viewed this...thing. Is it as
bad as everyone says? Is it as bad as the trailers make it look? Is it
as bad as the 1.7 on IMDb? Is it as bad as the mere $411,050 it grossed
on its opening weekend? Well...yes.
The story involves three....three..."things" that have to throw a birthday party for their talking pillow, but they are waiting for their talking vacuum cleaner named J Edgar (I'm serious about that name) to deliver some balloons to make the party complete. However, the vacuum cleaner trips like a dumbass and accidentally releases all of the balloons into the air. Now its up to our three friends to go on a wild and quirky adventure to find the balloons and meet some new pals along the way.
Other than some bright colors and poorly written songs, Oogieloves offers nothing for children at all. The plot is extremely repetitive: the Oogieloves bump into a new character, sing a song, get a balloon, then move on to the next character, rather rinse repeat. The costumes for our protagonists look like they could've been bought in a Halloween store. I mean, the mouths move like an old kung-fu movie dubbed into English, and they all have severe camel toe. And also, why the hell did they name the vacuum cleaner after the head of the CIA? Is it some sort of inside joke or something? Did they think toddlers would really know who J Edgar Hoover is?
The characters and their actors are very...interesting. Clorice Leachman plays Dottie Rounder, an old lady who is obsessed with circles. She doesn't seem genuine at all, as if she was dragged out of bed and forced to dance. The same can be said with Christopher Lloyd, who doesn't even talk at all (except for the line "Oooooooogie!"). Cary Elwes as a bubble-spewing, ADHD cowboy truck driver seems likes he's having fun on the set, but he cant sing worth a damn, unfortunately. Personally, the worst of all is Toni Braxton as the singer who has a cold. Trying to describe her performance here is like trying to describe a dragonfly sexually assaulting an elephant with a coloring book. Simply put, her acting is just pitiful, and the song her character sings is one of the worst songs I've ever heard in a movie; its in my top 5.
The ONLY character worth sitting through in this movie is Chaz Palminteri as Marvin the Milkshake Guy. Wow, is this character fun! I'm not a kid, but if I were, I would've jumped outta my seat and started dancing along with his song. His acting is over-the-top, which is perfect for this movie and perfect for the role too. Not to mention, Chaz has the best line in the movie: "Oooh! Mah favorite!"
Overall, Oogieloves And The Big Balloon Adventure is not a movie I'd take a kid to see. There are no lessons at all for one thing. At least something like Dora The Explorer or Barney teaches lessons like sharing, being kind, speaking Spanins, etc., but this movie teaches kids squat. This is the kind of movie that would lower a kids IQ. I'm not sure what to rate it, but it wont be a high rating because this movie was just flat out awful.
7 out of 47 people found the following review useful:
A fun, silly little movie a preschooler would like., 2 September 2012
Author: Kelly J from United States
After reading the super-negative reviews, I wanted to put in my two
cents. For it's genre, I thought this movie was pretty good. We brought
our 2 1/2 year old granddaughter, and she really enjoyed it. It took
her a little while to warm up to it, but by the end, she was dancing &
clapping along with the show. Is it a great movie? Of course not, but
it's not meant to be. It's meant to be fun for the little ones.
It was funny seeing people like Cloris Leachman and Christopher Lloyd in it....funny and a little sad. Would a 6 or 7 year old like it? Probably not... but great for preschoolers. It would have been even more fun for her if there would have been other people in the theater.
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