Synopsis for
"Cougar Town" I Won't Back Down (2009)

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Josh enjoys all the little "cracks" that Jules' "experienced" feet have been through, but she apparently doesn't, since she works the file on them hard enough to make Bob Vila proud. Ellie is in the middle of foreplay with Andy, which involves rubbing his back with her feet, while both are lying down, when she decides to call Jules and lament that Andy is already using his "free sex" cards. That's enough to get Jules off the phone and onto her Cinnabon treat. She wanted to enjoy it without Bobby showing up and ruining it...perhaps by telling her a Cinnabon has as many calories as three double-cheeseburgers like he just did. To her credit, she did invent a new snack: Danish Off The Skillet.

Jules tries to get Grayson to admit he finds her attractive after admitting she thinks he is. However, he refuses. She is none too happy about this turn of events but she'll let her "paper buddy" off the hook by saying he can leave his porchlight on at 10PM as a sign he thinks she's attractive. He immediately removes the lightbulb from it. This gives her an excuse to turn on Bobby, who has a ton of stuff still at her house. She demands he moves it, and he is willing to take everything, including a sex tape they have. Actually, she won't let him take that because she thinks he'll show it to his friends. And she wants to show it to her friends. And she does. ("Wow. Bucknaked 19-year-old you is STUPID hot!") However, Jules has taste and stops the tape before it gets to the intercourse. Ellie and Laurie don't have taste, so they turn it back on. ("Oh my God! I've eaten off that table!") Naturally, this is when Travis comes downstairs to ask his mom what she and the ladies are watching.

Jules is still ticked that Grayson doesn't find her attractive, so she decides to take out the four-inch heels and an extremely low-cut dress. (BTW, Courteney, if you're actually reading this...rawr!) Naturally, it doesn't work and she ends up with pad thai on her head from using the garbage bag as a sexy prop. Ellie is now obsessed with the tape of Jules having sex at 20, since she has that magnifying mirror that uncovers every flaw. Jules has one of those, too. Both are obsessed with their flaws, or the ones they're making up for the show.

Bobby has enlisted Travis' help to empty Jules' house of his stuff. It doesn't take much, only 19 trips with the golf cart to get everything to the boat. The non-essential stuff will be hidden in the woods behind the parking lot, since nobody ever goes back there. However, an essential Bobby has is the 15-year-old Cheeto that looks like Bruce Willis. He dares Travis to eat it, which he quickly refuses. Bobby is upset that Travis doesn't want to do stupid stuff like he did with his dad, such as eating bottle caps (2 of which still haven't passed yet) or throwing things at each other's groinal areas.

In a traffic jam, Laurie tries to get Jules out of her shell. Laurie goes all construction worker on a shirtless bicyclist and dares Jules to do the same. Jules caves and does it to a jogger...not realizing it's Grayson. He milks it for all it's worth, even doing one of those slow-motion Baywatch things with his water bottle. Jules is ticked, to say the least, at Grayson working his "sweet cheeks," even offering to walk ahead of Jules so she could get a good look. And naturally the show takes that moment to switch to Andy, who got caught in one of those "trap" questions women have for men, telling Ellie she was beautiful instead of saying she didn't look any older. His "sex cards" get ripped up.

Jules is getting obsessed with Grayson. She thinks he expects her to talk about him all day long in the office...which she does with Laurie. They decide to check on Grayson's ex, Vivian. Apparently she's quite happy, or at least Jules is, given that Grayson's ex is now pregnant. She decides to drop her nice-person persona and announce to everyone at Grayson's bar that the ex is engaged and pregnant. She probably should have entered the bar a minute earlier, when Grayson lamented to Laurie and Bobby that Vivian left him because she didn't want kids with Grayson. Oops.

Jules immediately reverts back to "nice person" mode as she feels very guilty about saying that to Grayson. So much so she's having her Danish Off The Skillet treat in front of Laurie (or Laurie's back, as it were.) She tries to apologize, but giving him the option to never speak to him again wasn't the right idea for an apology. However, she can at least get Laurie and Ellie talking by making Laurie admit Ellie is "a smokin' piece of ass." Jules is able to get Laurie up to "hot for a frigid, beastly, elderly woman." Ellie is about ready to make out with Laurie for the compliment.

Travis finally warms up to throwing something at his nuts. Suddenly Bobby realizes what he did with his dad was a bit stupid and shouldn't be repeated. Although Travis is willing to compromise and dare Bobby that he can't keep a hose in his mouth for 10 seconds, which he does.

Jules returns to Grayson and won't leave until he admits that his marriage broke up because of what Vivian did, not what he did. He didn't want it to end, and he made all that stuff up, including sleeping with 20-somethings to avoid long discussions with Jules about it, since she would be the caring supportive type about it, and he just wanted to forget it happened. They reach a semi-understanding. At least enough of one where he leaves the porchlight on at 10PM and admits he thinks Jules is attractive.


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