Richard Castle: Let me borrow your magnifying glass.
NYPD Detective Kate Beckett: I don't have a magnifying glass.
Richard Castle: Isn't that standard issue for detectives?
NYPD Detective Kate Beckett: No, not since Sherlock Holmes.
Alexis Castle: [after Alexis' grandmother leaves the apartment, Alexis says to her father] Is insanity inherited?
Martha Rodgers: I have two words for you: "hairline" and "receding".
[Castle grabs the toaster and looks at his reflection]
Martha Rodgers: [snickering] Made you look.
NYPD Detective Kate Beckett: Are you looking at porn?
Richard Castle: I use Ryan's computer for that.
Jeff Dilahunt: Are you two together?
Richard Castle: [Castle and Beckett answer at same time] Not yet.
NYPD Detective Kate Beckett: Absolutely not.
Richard Castle: [Castle speaking about a murder suspect] This guy's got contingency plans for his contingency plans. It feels like we're battling a super-villian.
Captain Roy Montgomery: Do we know what was in the package?
NYPD Detective Kate Beckett: The courier company's looking into it right now. Whatever it was, somebody thought that it was worth killing for.
Richard Castle: Off the top of my head, I'm gonna go with nuclear launch codes, Dick Cheney's soul on its way to the devil...