Glee (TV Series)

Theatricality (2010)

Jenna Ushkowitz: Tina Cohen-Chang

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kurt Hummel : I thought the boys' Kiss number was good, although the lyrics did leave something to be desired.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : And Finn kept sticking his tongue out and I couldn't stop picturing him licking stuff. It was disturbing.

• Artie Abrams : It's so weird.

  Finn Hudson : This so isn't you.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.

  Will Schuester : Tina, are there any other looks you can try?

  Santana Lopez : Biker chick?

  Finn Hudson : Cowgirl?

  Mercedes Jones : Hood rat.

  Quinn Fabray : Computer programmer.

  Brittany S. Pierce : Cross-country skier.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Catholic schoolgirl.

  Brittany S. Pierce : Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken.

• Rachel Berry : Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?

  Artie Abrams : Isn't that against the rules?

  Rachel Berry : No, not at all. Or probably. Whatever! Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : Oh, no.

  Rachel Berry : Which led me to Joelle Fabrics. I asked them about red Chantilly lace, and they were sold out.

  Mercedes Jones : Oh, sweet Jesus.

  Kurt Hummel : Oh, my.

  Will Schuester : Wait, wait, wait. What?

  Kurt Hummel : They're doing Gaga.

  Mercedes Jones : That's it. It's over.

  Rachel Berry : Exactly.

  Kurt Hummel : We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them.

• [first lines] 

  Tina Cohen-Chang : Am I in trouble?

  Will Schuester : Come on. You've got more self-esteem than that. I think this might have to do with your perfect attendance last semester.

  Principal Figgins : No. Ms. Cohen-Chang is in trouble. It has come to my attention that the look you sport is what is known as goth. American teens are coming down with a serious case of "Twilight" fever, transformed from normal children into vampires obsessed with the occult. And only yesterday, this dark specter reared its head at McKinley High.

• Will Schuester : I don't mean to state the obvious, but you do know that vampires aren't real, right? They don't exist.

  Principal Figgins : William, denial will not make this problem go away!

  Tina Cohen-Chang : My parents won't even let me watch "Twilight". My mom says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.

  Principal Figgins : This is a serious problem! Ms. Cohen-Chang, you've got to find yourself another style of dress!

  Will Schuester : Hold on a second. Tina is shy, and one way she's found to express herself is through her clothes. High school is an incredibly important time when kids get to explore who they are. When I was in high school, I had a whole year where I dressed exactly like Kurt Cobain. I mean, come on. There has to be someone who you used to dress like.

  Principal Figgins : Yes. For several years in my early twenties, I dressed up as Elvis. But he was a Christian, Will! And he did not possess the ability to transform into a bat!

  Tina Cohen-Chang : [quietly]  I think he thinks vampires are real.

  Will Schuester : [just as quietly]  I think you're right.

• Tina Cohen-Chang : [Wearing her Gaga outfit]  My balls keep falling off.

  Kurt Hummel : I've been there.