Will Schuester: When you answer the phone, what do you say?
Mercedes Jones: What up?
Artie Abrams: Who this be?
Kurt Hummel: No, she's dead. This is her son.
Brittany: [to Santana] Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?
Brittany: You're a really good dancer.
Finn Hudson: Um, thanks, but my feet weren't really moving.
Brittany: That was the best part.
Sue Sylvester: [to Santana and Brittany] Ladies, I misjudged you. You may be the two stupidest teens I've ever encountered. And that's saying something. I once taught a cheerleading seminar to a young Sarah Palin.
Sue Sylvester: Bringing down this club may be easier than I thought. I am engorged with venom and triumph.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: I'm not breaking up with you, I'm just saying please stop supersizing 'cause I don't dig on fat chicks.
Quinn Fabray: I'm pregnant!
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman: And that's my fault?
Will Schuester: Let's bury the hatchet, Sue.
Sue Sylvester: No. I won't be burying any hatchet. Unless I get a clear shot to your groin!
Finn Hudson: Coach Tanaka pulled a Jessica Simpson: he lost his fiancee, gained 40 pounds and stopped showering.
Sue Sylvester: [to Will] Oh, hey William... I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair.
[the Principle wakes up in bed after Sue spikes his drink]
Sue Sylvester: So here's what's gonna happen. As of right now, I am reinstated. Or I will tell your wife and the entire congregation of the Cornerstone Bible Way Church of our sexual congress. It's your choice.
Will Schuester: Okay look Sue. If you're back let's bury the hatchet.
Sue Sylvester: I won't be burying any hatchets William unless I happen to get a clear shot to your groin. You humiliated me.
Will Schuester: You did this to yourself Sue. All I did was enjoy watching it happen.
Sue Sylvester: Yeah, well enjoy this William. Now that I'm back and my position is secured I will not stop until you're fired and your little Glee Club is annihilated into oblivion.
Will Schuester: Bring it.
Sue Sylvester: Oh I will bring it, William. You know what else I'm gonna to bring? I'm gonna bring some Asian cookery to wipe your head with. Cause right now you've got enough product in your hair to season a wok.
Sue Sylvester: You may be two of the stupidest teens I've ever encountered - and that's saying something. I once taught a cheerleading seminar to Sarah Palin.
Rachel Berry: [after Finn is finished singing "Hello, I Love You" in front of the rest of the group] And that, fellow Glee clubbers, is how we say 'hello'.