Mac: [Dee throws a jar full of piss out the car window, splashing a sleeping Mac] Is this piss? IS THIS PISS?
Mac: [Handing Charlie a pear] Chomp into it.
Charlie Kelly: Just bite it?
Charlie Kelly: Okay.
Mac: Like a piece of fruit, you would bite into it...
Charlie Kelly: [Charlie bites pear] Agh! Tastes like sand.
Mac: Like sand? Oh, that-that pear's not ripe, dude.
Charlie Kelly: Ah.
Mac: He burned us. Gypsy son of a bitch burned us! Excuse me, sir? What are you doing to my friend, Bozo? You burned us. It's dry.
Fruit Vendor: You picked it out.
Mac: Well, let's not get into a whole who picked out what. It's... I want my 35 cents back. Charlie, give him the pear.
Charlie Kelly: I can't, I just ate it.
Mac: The whole thing?
Charlie Kelly: Yeah. It was pretty gross and I...
Mac: The stem and-and the core?
Charlie Kelly: You didn't tell me not to eat the stem, dude!
Mac: Did you eat the stickers that are all over it?
Charlie Kelly: Yeah, it was gross!
Mac: Of course it's gross... it's a sticker, bro!
Charlie Kelly: I eat stickers all the time, dude!
Mac: Oh my god! This whole thing is a disaster. I'm going back to the car.
Dee Reynolds: [after hearing that a young hitch hiker they've picked up is running away from home to go to Hollywood] Oh no... You're gonna end up doing gay porno with this little body of yours.
Frank Reynolds: [Playing a drinking game to name all fifty states with Mac and Dee] Jesus Christ! You guys are gonna be hammered by the time I finish naming the east coast!
Dennis Reynolds: [after putting a beer bottle under the back of the moving truck door] Now, the weight of the door will keep the beer bottle in place.
Frank Reynolds: Good.
Dennis Reynolds: Nice, huh?
Frank Reynolds: Move over a little bit, let me sit on the cooler.
Frank Reynolds: [the truck hits a bump, causing the beer bottle to come off] Goddammit!