Okay, here's how this works. First, I got pregnant in high school. Then! My baby's daddy decided not to leave his wife but he did stop being my guidance counselor. So none of my transcripts went to college. Now I'm going to take you through the next eight years in eleven seconds. Ready? Meth. Meth. Meth. Biker boyfriend. Dead cop. Technicality. Rehab. Jesus. Pharmacy assistant. MEEEEETH! Checkout clerk. Wave your food over this laser beam and put it in the bag. Do you HAVE any meth? No? Then ...