Troy: [as Abed lays down a beat, Troy raps] ¿Dónde está la biblioteca? Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca.
Abed: Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca, es bigote grande, perro, manteca.
Troy: Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequeño, cabeza es nieve. Cerveza es bueno!
Abed: Buenas Días! Me gusta papas frías! Bigote de la cabra es Cameron Diaz. Yeah, Boy!
Troy: Yeah! What!
Abed: Yeah. It's 2009.
Britta: A lifetime of disappointments has given me douche-ray vision.
Senor Chang: Umm ok guys, why are there costumes involved? These are short conversations, they're not supposed to take...
Jeff Winger: ...Your breath away? Well tough.
Senor Chang: Ok um guys, why are there costumes involved these are short conversations, there not suppose to take...
Jeff Winger: Take you breath away?
Annie: But, maybe when Jeff gets here we could talk to him as a group about his tardiness...
Pierce Hawthorne: Oh come on, don't use that word around Abed.
Abed: Conflicts like this will ultimately bring us togther as an unlikely family.
Troy: You have horrible breath right now.
Senor Chang: Every once in a while, a student will come up to me and ask, "Señor Chang, why do you teach Spanish?"
Senor Chang: They say it just like that. "Why do *you* teach Spanish?"
Senor Chang: "Why you? Why not math? Why not photography? Why not martial arts?" I mean, surely, it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that's ancient and secret, like, oh, building a wall that you can see from outer space! Well, I'll tell you why I teach Spanish. It is none of your business, okay? I don't wanna have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man I am. Oh hee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! *I am a Spanish Genius!* In español, my nickname is *El Tigre Chino*!
[pretends to bite Shirley's neck]
Senor Chang: 'Cause my knowledge will bite her face off! So don't question Señor Chang or you'll get bit. Yah bit! Yah bit!
Shirley Bennett: And this isn't the school paper. It's the real thing. There's a Marmaduke in there.
Annie: I volunteer at a seniors center, and I have seen the face of dementia, and last night I saw it again.
Britta Perry: [refusing Jeff's anniversary card] You're cute, but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near-delusion.
Jeff Winger: [after Britta had left] She said I was cute...