Larry Sizemore: Hey, pal. Sorry about the mess.
Michael Westen: Larry, what the hell are you doing here?
Larry Sizemore: Well, it's nice to see you, too, Michael. And Sam. I also see you.
Larry Sizemore: [indicating Michael's drawn gun] Seriously, pal, we do 20 missions on three continents and this is how you greet me?
Michael Westen: Well, that was before you faked your own death and came back without a soul.
Larry Sizemore: Ouch. A little harsh, huh?
[the picture freezes, and a caption identifies him as "Larry" / "Undead Spy" ]
Sam Axe: Uh, Mikey, that's a Santa Muerte tattoo. Six tears: the guy's a pro with a half a dozen kills.
Larry Sizemore: "Pro"? That's kind of generous. Six is a promising start, I guess.
Michael Westen: You're Larry Garber now?
Larry Sizemore: [chuckling] Yeah. With the kind of money I make, you can't just leave it laying around the house. You want to invest, you need an identity. There was this shoe salesman up in Buffalo. He was kind enough to fall on a knife and give me his. Think about it. Call me.
Sam Axe: [deadpan] That guy sucks.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] Preserving a corpse is not a frequent job requirement for a spy. But if you must, stashing a body is a lot like storing high explosives. Air, water, and heat are the enemy.
Sam Axe: [watching surveillance footage] This week on "Casa de Sicario," the killers sleep late and eat cereal for lunch! Hey, you OK with the first shift here? I have to go exploit a friend in the name of an unsanctioned national security operation, and I don't want to be late.
Michael Westen: Looks like boss man's texting the dead guy.
Fiona Glenanne: Is it coded?
Michael Westen: Kinda. It's in Spanish.
[Fiona stares at him]
Michael Westen: Look, if it was in Russian or Farsi...
Fiona Glenanne: [translating a text message] Ooh, he's calling him a "pendejo." It's like "idiot," but ruder.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] It's dangerous to say "no" to a spy. In a business where motives are questionable and loyalty is skin-deep, declining the wrong request can earn you a trip to the morgue. So if you're asked to soak in a jacuzzi by a black ops sociopath who's paranoid about listening devices, you pick out your favorite trunks and wade in.
Michael Westen: Am I being punished?
Mason Gilroy: Not at all. I just thought we could use a spot where we could talk freely about our future together.
Michael Westen: [easing slowly away] I like you, you know, like a friend, but...
Mason Gilroy: You're cute, but don't interrupt.
Michael Westen: As long as your don't partner me up again, you'll get your file soon enough.
Mason Gilroy: I won't. I've learned the file's been destroyed. And I confess my first thought was to kill you and take my leave. But no, we must keep calm and carry on.
Michael Westen: ...Thanks?
Sam Axe: All right, brother, I'll do it, but I'm getting an itchy feeling.
Michael Westen: You sure that's from a moral dilemma?
Sam Axe: Oh, that's not nice.
Larry Sizemore: I'll explain everything after we get rid of this body. Now, I've been looking around this place, trying to find something to stuff him in, so we can carry him out without spooking your neighbors. How attached are you to that couch?
Larry Sizemore: [chuckling] Would you look at that? Three to the chest. He didn't even get a shot off. I just get better with age.
Sam Axe: Mike, I'm just going to say it: there's room for two in that couch.
Michael Westen: [thinking about it, then lowering his gun] It's heavy as it is.
Michael Westen: I have a problem.
Nate Westen: Yeah? Well, there's a shocker.
Michael Westen: I need you to stay here and watch mom.
Nate Westen: Are you kidding me? No. No! Dude, this is, like, my honeymoon, bro. You want me to subject Ruth to that right away?
Michael Westen: [voice-over] Sometimes, the least secure parts of a security system are the security cameras themselves. If leaves obstruct the lens because the landscaping hasn't been maintained, you can approach from a blind spot. And if you get close enough, borrowing the video feed is as easy as stealing pay-per-view.
Larry Sizemore: You look upset.
Michael Westen: [glaring at him] So, who's Carlos gunning for here?
Larry Sizemore: My front man. I hired a guy to drop your name. You'd have done the same thing. He's a disposable part-time hustler.
Michael Westen: You're working with an amateur?
Larry Sizemore: Amateur criminal. Professionally, he's a magician. You know, like for kids' parties? Great card tricks, great smile.
Michael Westen: [referring to Larry's accomplice] I'm surprised he's still breathing.
Larry Sizemore: Well, I was gonna take care of him later.
Michael Westen: [trying to translate a text message] Tu aires? Tu airs? Eries?
Larry Sizemore: [snatching the phone from him] Oh, you have lived in Miami for how long? He's calling him a pen... It's sort of like an idiot, but ruder. And he's saying he is, uh, sending some more guys over to clean things up.
[they watch an SUV full of gunmen pull up]
Larry Sizemore: Well, look: nature's taking its course. We can just relax.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] The key to surviving a fall into shallow water is safely displacing your body's mass. A flat surface floating on top can help absorb and distribute your weight evenly. Miss the target, and you may as well be jumping right on the concrete.
[Michael and Larry hit the mattress on the water. Jack Yablonski misses, breaks his ankle on the bottom of the pool]
Jack Yablonski: Ow! I think I broke my foot!
Fiona Glenanne: [referring to Larry] Why would you bring him here? I want that nutjob out of my house!
Michael Westen: It's not like he didn't already know your address.
Fiona Glenanne: Why would that make me feel better?
Michael Westen: If I let him out of my sight, that's when he starts killing everyone.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] Orchestrating a fake sighting isn't a job that calls for subtlety. It's not enough to dress an imposter in the right clothes.
Fake Justino: Am I doing all right?
[the picture freezes, and a caption identifies him as "Fake Justino" / "The Imposter" ]
Fiona Glenanne: Oh, you are doing just fine, Justino.
Fake Justino: You're kinky, and I like it.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] You need to make grand gestures and attract attention to colorful details.
Fiona Glenanne: [to the bartender] Justino here thinks his tattoo is sexy. I think it's scary. Who's right?
Fake Justino: It's a Santa Muerte.
[he shows off the tattoo; the bartender looks frightened]
Michael Westen: [voice-over] Do it right, and eyewitnesses will be lining up to swear they saw a dead man buying drinks.
Fiona Glenanne: Drinks are on you, my friend. This round is on Justino! He just inherited a fortune!
[everyone in the bar cheers]
Fiona Glenanne: [slips some money into his shirt, talks urgently] You need to get out of town. Go vacation in the Keys. Go now. And burn the clothes.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] Every class of criminal has their own set of fears. Usually, the boogeyman lives in the mirror. Thieves triple-lock their doors, embezzlers check their bank accounts obsessively, and cartel soldiers get the hell out of any car that won't start right away.
Ruth Westen: Vegas is amazing! The weather's amazing! Someday you're gonna have grandkids there. Don't you think living near them would just be...
Madeline Westen: [sarcastically] Amazing?
Larry Sizemore: [pointing to the surveillance feed] Hasn't been anything this good on at 10 o'clock in a long time.
Sam Axe: Wow, look at him trashing the place. Justino's not in that couch, my friend!
Sam Axe: Look, there's not gonna be any more blood... as soon as your hand stops dripping.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] The key to fake surveillance is delivering real boredom. If someone suffers for the information you're feeding them, they're much more likely to believe it.
Carlos: Can I get one of them chips, man?
Michael Westen: What's "no" in Spanish? It's still "no," right?
Fiona Glenanne: What the hell are you doing here?
Larry Sizemore: Just gonna go out on a limb and guess you've never dressed a corpse before, so I'm here to help.
Fiona Glenanne: I'm not interested in...
Larry Sizemore: Oh, come on. Let me put it another way: if this job goes south because *you* screwed up, everybody is going to end up... very sad.
[Fiona lowers her gun]
Larry Sizemore: Here, hand me that shirt. It's a hell of a lot easier when you stitch 'em in.
Fiona Glenanne: Your mother must be so proud.
Larry Sizemore: Sorry. Couldn't walk away from two million bucks. Not gonna happen.
Michael Westen: I need that money.
Larry Sizemore: I'll give you half of it if you do this my way: kill Carlos.
Michael Westen: My head is on the chopping block, Larry. You don't think I'll end you to save myself?
Larry Sizemore: Oh, I know you would. And that's what I love about you, kid. But I'm not the guy who sent people to end your life. All you have to do is kill him. You're at a fork in the road, and I know you. This is not a tough call.
Michael Westen: [hits the metal wall with his knife hand, yelling] Killing Carlos does *not* solve my problem! My name? It's in the air!
Larry Sizemore: [backing up] I'll give you a new one. I'll protect you.
Michael Westen: [shoves him] You're a shoe salesman from Buffalo!
Larry Sizemore: I have connections, I have guns, and I also have what you need most: the will. The will to act on our instincts, to get what we want. And what I want is to work with you again. I'll cut the head off the whole cartel, if that's what it takes. But you know what's sad? I don't see anyone else steppin' up to bail you out. It's do or die time, kid. What's it gonna be?
Michael Westen: [voice-over] After a career spent doing bad things for good reasons, it's hard to say exactly where you draw the line. You might not know, exactly... until someone asks.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] Turning an asset is a multi-step process. You back them into a corner, you pile on stress, you create tension with the people they trust. If you can cut them off from good influences, so you're the only voice in their ear...
Michael Westen: Damn it.
Michael Westen: [voice-over] ... They're much more likely to listen.
Nate Westen: Did Larry...?
Michael Westen: He knows I check for bugs. He switched my SIM card, used call forwarding, isolated me...
Michael Westen: [voice-over] It's a formula that works so well, it even works on spies who oughtta know better.
Nate Westen: You really thought no one was answering your calls? Jesus, bro. Dad's dead. You're not in Afghanistan anymore. I mean, when you going to learn there are people you can trust?
Michael Westen: You know, I've been thinking, if we're going to do this, I want to be thorough: leave no trace, leave no teeth.
Larry Sizemore: Oh, that's good. That's a bumper sticker. I love that.
Michael Westen: Jack, remember: you're no longer Jack Fleetwood. You're Jack Yablonski again. Forever.
Jack Yablonski: [not thrilled] Yeah. Psyched about that. Be safe, man.
Michael Westen: And Jack, seriously: if I you ever come back to Miami, or if I ever hear the name Fleetwood again, I will kill you myself! OK? Have a safe trip.
Sam Axe: There's not gonna be anymore blood! Just as soon as your hand stops dripping.
Sam Axe: So, learn anything?
Michael Westen: Only that he's a *damn* good liar. Tried to sell me some line about a bioweapon, but it took him a little too long to come up with it?
Sam Axe: Back to square one, then. Guess you're gonna have to keep doing some diggin'.
Michael Westen: I'm gonna need some help, Sam.
Sam Axe: [chuckles] Imagine that.
Carlos: [checking the money in the trunk] It's all here. But I guess I gotta let you off the hook, huh?
Michael Westen: So we're good.
Carlos: We're great.
Michael Westen: [narrative] Large amounts of cash present a huge temptation:
Carlos: [holding up a twenty to the sun] Oyé.
Michael Westen: [narrative] to steal, to kill for, to counterfeit.
Carlos: There's no security strip. No thread. Are youse tryin' to pull something? Huh? Were you in on this?
Michael Westen: That doesn't make any sense! You run a cash processing center; why would I shove Monopoly money in your face?
Michael Westen: [narrative] Weighing operational risk is tricky when your life is on one side of the scale. Withholding flight plan data may put your life in danger, but you try to remember that, if you jeopardize thousands of innocent lives to save your own, you wouldn't want to live with yourself anyway.