Paul Thomas, whose recent French-backed movie 8 MASSEUSES was a treat (but not listed in IMDb), is slacking off with IN BLACK & WHITE, a poorly done "digital" production that is strictly 2 hours of filler.
Though Thomas jokingly, perhaps channeling Al Gore, claims to have "invented" porno in the 11-minute pointless "making of" extra on the DVD, mixed combo action in porn films actually predates Paul's entrance into the business. Paul's lame attempt at humor has him wise cracking that he goes back to the time of Chaplin: "You know his Little Tramp -it was actually the Anal Tramp". Hardy-har-har. Thomas's attempt to cash in here on the interracial taboo is uninspired.
High concept video takes place at an L.A. swingers bar Club Eros, where jaded couple Krista Rowlands and hubby Nick shop around for pick-ups to enliven their domestic sex life. First up is porn familiar Kelly Wells, a veteran of many an interracial sex scene with the likes of Mandingo yet not involved in crossing the color line here. I guess her casting was just meant to confuse the fans.
I knew I was in for a long Rumsfeldian slog when I noticed that 40 minutes of running time had elapsed with just one sex scene, the three-way involving Lisa Maxwell (Wells) with Nick (Voodoo) and star Krista (Monique Alexander). Thomas used to edit his footage, but this baby is one of those real-time wonders.
Next up is a fake house-invasion scene, where Lisa Belize is awoken by a masked (actually with pantyhose over his face) intruder who rapes her, taking 23 minutes more off the clock. Of course it's just her hubby Mr. Marcus, in typical role-playing sex games mode.
It turns out that Marcus & Belize have been exchanging emails with Voodoo & Monique, so they all head for Club Eros for a swap meet. It's testimony to the slapdash nature of this production that the various scenes shot at the Club all look like they were done at once, with even some overlapping footage.
Heading for the Rowlands household, the foursome mix and match for a whopping continuous sex scene lasting 50 minutes! Boring.
MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD:
Video climaxes not with sex but with an altercation, as Monique, a white-bread chick if there ever was one, suddenly launches into a Borscht Belt imitation of Rosie Perez getting on her high horse, ordering Belize around. Before a race riot erupts, Mr. Marcus and Belize exit stage left sans fisticuffs.
They get back at Monique at Club Eros, natch, where she and Voodoo are picking up yet another couple (white this time). Belize warns the newbies of the trouble in store for them, Monique loses her temper again and even Voodoo gets tired of the antics of his better half (he looks as if Fred Olen Ray had canceled his softcore contract and he'll be forced to grind out XXX forever). Video ends with Monique home alone, and "To be continued..." ominously superimposed on the screen. Uh, oh! Say it isn't so, Paul.
I've been harsh, but I hold up Paul Thomas to a higher standard than the usual no-name pornographer. IN BLACK AND WHITE, which of course is videographed in color (even crediting a 1080i60 camera as if I cared), seems like the work of an out & out hack, and had Thomas not signed it, and even shown up all jolly in the "behind the scenes" garbage, I would never have accused him of making it. Paul, don't let it happen again.
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