- Uncle Jesse Duke: [narrating] Fact is, Boss was a hatchin' a scheme that was a real ring-tail lalapolooza.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Boss, do I have to take my pants off?
- Boss Hogg: Oh of course not, Rosco. I'll never ask you to do nothing you don't want to do.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Well, that's a relief.
- Boss Hogg: So I won't be askin' you to do me this one itty-bitty little favor and model them prison outfits for Hazzard county.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Oh, I 'preciate it, cuh!
- Boss Hogg: Even though it might be the end of your career in law-enforcement.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Ooh.
- Boss Hogg: The removal of your kinfolk from the County preroad.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Ooh!
- Boss Hogg: And no more sassafraz cookies from my personal cookie jar.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Ooh! No more sassafraz cookies?
- Boss Hogg: No sireebob.
- Daisy Duke: What in thunder's goin' on?
- Vance Duke: Sounds like a raid on a moonshine operation.
- Coy Duke: Yeah, except we're miles and miles out to sea.
- Vance Duke: We'll have to wait till the guard's asleep.
- Daisy Duke: Right, and after we escape we'll have to warn Boss Hogg & Rosco about what we just heard.
- Coy Duke: Daisy, you sure have a way of taking the fun outta things.
- Vance Duke: We gotta save Boss & Rosco, and that's that.
- Daisy Duke: But how?
- Vance Duke: By promotin' the General to Admiral.
- Boss Hogg: Breaker breaker, eh, this is Hungry Hogg callin' Lo Fat Chow.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Say hello from Rosco...
- Boss Hogg: What? You don't know him, he don't know you!
- Boss Hogg: [ordering his last meal] Eh, to start out with, I'd like half a dozen of them thousand year old eggs. And if they ain't ready yet, I'll wait.
- [chuckles]
- Boss Hogg: This is it, Rosco, a couple 'o minutes from now, me and you will be shark bait.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Ooh! Boss?
- Boss Hogg: Yeah?
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: You know what we need?
- Boss Hogg: What?
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: A plan to escape!
- Boss Hogg: Rosco, if brains was electricity, what you got couldn't run a night light.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: I apprecia...
- Boss Hogg: [shouting] How are we gonna escape from this ship?