The Irate Gamer: Okay, now just wait a minute here. There are aliens in this game? What the shit? I thought I was fighting a terrorist war, now I'm fighting an alien war?
The Irate Gamer: It might also be a good idea to have a second player helping you out. I'll just get one of my friends to play. Hey, guys?
[shows stills of an empty hallway and a deserted office]
The Irate Gamer: Hello? Anyone? Maybe I should get some friends first.
The Irate Gamer: So why am I even fighting here? I guess there could be an explanation in the instructional manual, but the hell with that. Who ever reads those things anyway? I can't waste my time reading about a game, I just gotta play it!
The Irate Gamer: [entering 30-life code] Alright, let's do this. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start! Yes!
The Irate Gamer: Whoops, I should probably switch to the start up screen first.
The Irate Gamer: The guns. The guns were just awesome. Machine guns, laser guns, spray guns, guns I don't even know the name of. Hell yeah!
[cuts to a shot of IG superimposed over a scene in Contra firing a gun]
The Irate Gamer: Yeah, take that, you bitches!
The Irate Gamer: Now, it's pretty obvious that the military decided to send some troops in to defeat the bad guys. But whose bright idea was it to send in only two men into enemy territory and face a shit storm of rogue terrorists by themselves? Just who the hell is commanding this operation? Gomer Pyle? Well, gaw-lee!
The Irate Gamer: Dammit. What the hell, man? Cut it out.
The Wise Sage: Shut your pie hole, slowpoke.