An aging porn star agrees to participate in an "art film" in order to make a clean break from the business, only to discover that he has been drafted into making a pedophilia and necrophilia themed snuff film.
Srdjan 'Zika' Todorovic,
Do You Like My Basement? tracks how one man's creative frustration bore a need to make the perfect horror film. Stanley Farmer was rejected universally by the film world. His frustration ... See full summary »
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An unnamed doctor has always had everything he's ever wanted, but that has only made him develop more extreme and depraved needs. He kidnaps a young couple in the prime of their life ... See full summary »
A young woman's quest for revenge against the people who kidnapped and tormented her as a child leads her and a friend, who is also a victim of child abuse, on a terrifying journey into a living hell of depravity.
Two pretty but ditsy American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany, they end up alone at night with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day, they awaken to find themselves trapped in a terrifying makeshift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. An older German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins. However, his three "patients" are not about to be separated but joined together in a horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric systems. By doing so, he plans to bring to life his sick lifetime fantasy, the human centipede. Written by
Producer Ilona Six
No plot, no character, no gore, no point, not one redeeming quality
I decided to give in and watch The Human Centipede bluray this morning. I've been watching plenty of bad movies for fun lately, the last ones I've seen were The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made, Troll 2, and The Room. All very fun and entertaining bad movies but The Human Centipede was the opposite of fun and entertaining.
I went in with no expectations and ended up just screaming at my TV for an hour and a half. I haven't seen so much stupidity in a horror movie since Hostel, Rob Zombie's Halloween, Martyrs, Gutterballs, and Return To Sleepaway Camp. It's rare for me to hate a movie only minutes into it but this gave me no choice. It starts with an old German man who looks like Butt-Head with a little Beavis bone structure, he's sitting in his car early in the morning and looking at pictures of what appears to be dogs sniffing each other butts. Then a truck stops behind his parked car, the truck driver walks to a chain link fence (in a very public area with several dozen cars passing by the second) so he can go number 2. The German man takes a rifle out of his car, tries to conceal it under his coat, and nonchalantly walks behind the truck driver, shoots him, and we see the opening title. I'm not sure how there were no witness or anyone who heard the shot.
The main plot is about two obnoxious American girls on vacation in Germany who want to attend a party. They leave their room and drive through the woods in the middle of nowhere when they suddenly get a flat tire. They have no idea how to change a tire so they start bickering and crying for minutes while an old pervert who speaks no English pulls up to harass them. Eventually they wander through the woods while screaming at each other and saying their names in every sentence, because I guess that's how people talk. They do find a house so they knock and Butt-Head answers the door and invites them in. He then gives them drugged water, freaks out when one girl spills her glass, demands she drinks more water, and eventually he gets suspicious enough for the girls to worry but by then they're already drugged. They wake up in restraints only to find out that the doctor is going to kill the trucker because he isn't a tissue match. He leaves and comes back with a Japanese guy, that is the very depth of this character. The only thing he ever does in the entire movie is screams in Japanese at the top of his lungs. When he has the three people he needs, he shows a slide show of his evil mad scientist plan to create The Human Centipede. A medical experiment that makes absolutely no sense and has no practical application.
For a while not much is really going on aside from Dr. Butt-Head ranting and acting like an idiot and the three victims crying like babies that need a diaper change. On the day of surgery one girl tries to escape and it's one of the most pathetic escapes I have ever seen, it's logic hurdle over logic hurdle like refusing to leave through the front door and steal the doctor's car, eventually the doctor catches the girl and makes her the middle of he centipede. The surgery scene is incredibly boring. You see some teeth pulled off screen and there's a circular incision that is barely shown, that is as gory as this movie ever gets. 1963's Blood Feast had a ton of gore and while looking laughably bad almost 50 years later, it is much more gruesome than The Human Centipede. 46 minutes into the movie you see the actual Human Centipede, which is three people with stitch effects on their faces and tons of bandages. The doctor parades them around the house, tries to teach them tricks, makes the front guy eat out of a dog dish, screams at them a lot, and the three of them do the usual routine of crying and the Japanese guy screaming in Japanese.
There isn't any more plot I can reveal without spoiling the movie but it only gets stupider. By the end it just creates a void where any sense of logic or humanity should be. The movie is just very boring, nothing much happens, there is just barely enough violence for an R rating, little nudity, no real plot, no characters or development, and just a very dull movie. I think what could have saved this movie is just taking the idea and making it into more of a comedy like replace the German doctor with Tommy Wiseau or The Iron Sheik and replace one of the girls with someone like Paris Hilton. Just outright spoof your own movie and it could have some watchable content. There is just nothing in this movie that I can possibly recommend. It isn't the worst movie, Manos: The Hands Of Fate and Birdemic: Shock and Terror were much worse and a lot more boring. The Human Centipede just goes nowhere and doesn't even make any attempt at being an interesting or original movie.
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