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Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) Poster

Quotes

Tucker: [Unsure of what to say to the sheriff] Oh hidy ho officer, we've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.

Dale: Do some of your friends take medication?

Allison: Why?

Dale: Because I think they forgot to take it.

Dale: You thought I looked like some kind of freak?

Allison: We misjudged you Dale. I'm... I'm really sorry.

Dale: Don't be sorry, it's my fault. I should have known if a guy like me talked to a girl like you, somebody would end up dead.

Tucker: All right... I know what this is.

Dale: What?

Tucker: This is a suicide pact.

Dale: It's a what?

Tucker: These kids are coming out here, and killing themselves all over the woods.

Dale: My God, that makes so much sense.

Dale: [after a spear lands between his legs] I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad I'm not hung like a bear.

Tucker: He's heavy for half a guy.

Dale: [the sheriff is stumbling around with a nail board through his skull] How is he even walking right now, Tuck?

Tucker: He looks like he's gonna walk it off, he's gonna be fine!

Tucker: Holy shit. We have go to hide all of the sharp objects!

Jason: You shouldn't be smoking anyway, Chloe, it's not good for you.

Chloe: Yeah, well, fucking dying isn't good for you either but that doesn't seem to be stopping anybody!

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Dale: [Allison is terrified of him when he first comes into her room] Uh-oh-oh, it's the pancakes! You don't like pancakes, I will get you sumpin' else!

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Allison: Wait, wait! Everyone just stop for a second and let's talk this out, okay? Nobody wants to hurt anyone.

Tucker: [as he favors the hand with the fingers that Chad cut off] You could've fooled me!

Chad: Fuck off, hillbilly!

Tucker: Eat shit, body perm!

Allison: Wait! Wait! How 'bout I make some tea and we all sit and talk this out.

Tucker: S-s-sounds like a good idea. I'll provide the finger sandwiches!

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Dale: [after seeing Tucker's fingers wrapped in his shirt] Oh my God, they cut off his bowling fingers!

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Tucker: When you see a college girl prancin' around in front of you half naked, you do not call out my name!

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Tucker: [hands him a nail gun] Cover me.

Dale: I ain't never shot at nobody before.

Tucker: If it helps, think of 'em like moving two-by-fours.

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Sheriff: [Talking to Tucker and Dale, after he's pulled them over] Where are you two headed?

Tucker: We're headed to our vacation home up by Morris Lake. I sank every penny I had into it... me and Dale here, we're gonna' go fix her up, then do a little fishin'. He's been strikin' out by the ladies, I figure a little *man* time might do him some good.

Sheriff: [Gives them a hard look] There ain't nothin' up there but pain and suffering on a scale you can't even imagine.

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Allison: What was that?

Dale: Anthemis nobilis

Allison: Huh?

Dale: It's the ingredient in camomile tea that causes allergic reactions in rare cases... like I said, I remember weird stuff.

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Dale: You want a killer hillbilly? I'll show you a killer hillbilly.

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Tucker: [whiping blood out of his eyes] Are you okay?

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Dale: That's a PBR Buddy.

Tucker: That, that's a thing of beauty.

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Tucker: [Dale is attracted to one of the college co-eds at the gas station, but hesitates to try to go talk to her] She's just human. Why don't you go over and talk to her?

Dale: Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say?

Tucker: I don't know... Tell her that you got a vacation home. That'll probably impress her.

Dale: Are you out of your mind, Tucker? They're college girls, and they grew up with vacation homes and guys like me fixing their toilets!

Tucker: You've gotta' have some faith in yourself, man. Girls can *smell* fear. Now, come on! You are a good lookin' man... more or less. You got a damned good heart. I mean, that's two things right there. Now go on, get over there! What... what's the worst that could happen?

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Chad: [Comes up to Tucker, who is hanging upside down] I've never stood so close to pure evil before.

Chad: [Sniffs close to Tucker's face] It kinda' stinks.

Tucker: It said it was 24-hour protection!

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Chad: It's time for you to feel *my* pain!

Dale: I'm ready, frat bitch!

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Allison: It's true, Chad. You're half hillbilly.

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Chad: There is no truth! Everything is a lie!

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Tucker: What am I supposed to say, Dale? "Oh hidy ho officer! We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house when kids started killing themselves all over my property."

Dale: Yeah, yeah, just like that.

Tucker: They're never gonna believe that.

Dale: But that's exactly what happened!

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Allison: I have this stupid dream...

Dale: Dreams are not stupid.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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