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Flesh Wounds: On a remote US Army facility, a group of scientists conducting top secret weapon experiments, vanish. An elite covert ops team, commanded by Lt. Tyler (Kevin Sorbo), is tasked with recovering the missing personnel within 24 hours. Written by
Why in a rat's ass we got to give back our dog tags? Huh? Huh? I want my mama to have me sitting pretty, you hear me, boy? Sitting pretty in a shiny black casket back in Knoxville. Y'all ain't fixing to bury me out here in Puerto Rico. I'll tell you that much.
It's not Puerto Rico; that's in the Caribbean.
Whatever the hell it is! It's all Taco Bell city to me, boy! You hear me?
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Yes, it's a Predator rip-off. An awful, lame, laughable Predator rip-off.
A lot of people are comparing this to Predator and I can't say I blame them. It's an extremely cheap-o version of the movie, complete with that camera shot where it senses body heat and we see colorful blobs dance around on the screen. It even makes a strange clicking/hissing sound as it moves through the jungle.
The story is pretty basic. No turns or twists here. Some scientists disappear and the General gets Lt. Tyler (Sorbo) to muster a team up and go look for them. A girl is assigned to go with them and Lt. Tyler objects (natch), but she winds up coming anyway. Once they are in the jungle, someone or some thing is killing them left and right and the girl seems to have more knowledge about their mission then they do. Pretty cut and dry here.
Don't even waste your time with this one. It's just pure garbage. Even Kevin Sorbo looks dazed and confused while on screen. All of the acting is so cheesy and downright laughable. You can most likely play a drinking game with this movie. For every cliché, take a shot. Wait, better not -- you might end up with alcohol poisoning.
The team is supposed to be in the jungle -- but, to me, it looks like this one was filmed at a State Park. There are wooden walkways! In the jungle! They give us aerial shots of lush vegetation and it's damn near impossible to see through it, yet... when we're back on the ground, I see trees and bushes that could very well be the ones in my own backyard! And what's up with the entire team (6 people!!) sneaking up on someone who has their back turned to them? The guy can't hear their freakin' boots on the wooden walkway as they clomp down it like a team of Clydesdales? How about the team sneaking up on a group of people that is about 30 feet away on the beach? Either the elite team is extremely good at cloaking and hiding or the people they're sneaking up on are not very aware of their surroundings. I've never seen such stealth and cunning before: to be able to sneak up on people in practically wide-open areas with virtually nothing to hide behind. It's just bad.
About the only thing decent in this movie was the blood and gore. But, it's not enough to save this one, I'm afraid. It says that the budget on this thing was $2.5 million dollars. Are you kidding me? Talk about pissing your money away -- this movie would have been better off in the hands of a chimpanzee with a camcorder and a dream. Nothing could ever make me watch this movie again. I don't care if Natalie Portman showed up on my doorstep naked holding a winning lottery ticket in one hand and a can of whipped cream in the other and begged me to watch this with her..... well, OK.....maybe just one more time. More reviews at www.soveryterry.com Final Grade: F
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