How to Boil a Frog (2010)

Jon Cooksey: Conductor, Narrator

Quotes 

• Conductor : ...that's what everybody said. "This is really bad, we need to do something, and here's what we should do." And after a while I got frustrated and started to say: Well, who? Who's going to do it? Are you gonna do it? Am I gonna do it? Who's gonna do it? When?

• Conductor : I'm not trying to save the planet. When people say they're trying to save the planet, that just pisses me off. No matter what we do to the planet, it'll survive... even if all that's left is cockroaches, moss and genetically modified corn creatures. We're the ones who are in danger - people. So I'm no tree-hugger. I'm a people-hugger. In fact, c'mere, come on, c'mon... aww.

  [hugs the camera] 

• Conductor : ...global warming isn't a problem. It's a symptom... of a much bigger problem.

• Conductor : Turns out you can go past what Nature can give you, the same way you can... keep buying things you can't afford by running up your credit cards. This is called "overshoot".

• Conductor : I blame disco.

• Conductor : Almost half the people in the world live on two bucks a day. Two bucks! One-fifth of the world's population? 1.1 billion people. Buck a day. You got twenty-two hundred dollars worth of assets - a laptop and an iPod, or a nice Rolex - you're richer than half the people in the world. Way to go! High five.

• Conductor : I don't know about you, but when I hear some reporter on TV say, "The world will end in two-thousand fifty because of global warming" or whatever, all I think is: Hey, don't have to do anything till two thousand fifty! Road trip!

• Conductor : So it looks like it's up to you and me to turn the Titanic around right now, and when I say right now, I mean, right now.

• Conductor : This is the part where you and I learn to be heroes.

• Conductor : I know, the earth gives me air and food and water... and a place to stand so I don't fall through outer space forever. But what's it done for me lately?

• Conductor : There are about a billion and a half cows on the planet now - that's right. One for every 4 humans. We keep ours in the guest room.

• Conductor : ...any decision we make to buy anything is warped because the value of air and water and soil and life - even human life - isn't counted in the cost of the stuff we buy.

• Conductor : ...when this movie's over, there's going to be a moment - one moment - when you think about taking action. In that moment, if you believe there's no point, then there's no point. If you think it's too late, then it's too late. But if you believe you can make a difference... you can.

• Conductor : Assball break!

• Conductor : This is Utah Phillips, activist, songwriter and sometime hobo. He said something that really stuck with me: The earth is not dying. The earth is being killed, and the people who are killing it have names and addresses.

• Conductor : 'Cause, frankly, if you're like me, you've made entirely too little trouble in your life - but you're gonna love it!

• Conductor : Every environmentalist in the world is trying to figure out the answer to how to keep things the way they are, only have them all be green. But the real answer is there is no answer - or rather, the answer is so freakin' obvious that nobody wants to say it out loud. The solution to overpopulation? Less people... one way or another. The solution to oil going to a billion bucks a barrel? No more driving and flying. This isn't brain surgery. The reason they don't wanna say it out loud is, it would mean admitting that the world as we know it isn't going to last. But I'm betting, deep in your gut, you already knew that.

• Conductor : Does that mean we all have to live in huts? Well, this guy does put out zero CO2 emissions... but if you're a Masai, you have to eat custard made out of cow's blood, and when you croak they toss you out in the desert to get eaten by hyenas. So it isn't for everybody.

• Conductor : ...it's like we've been given a second chance to go back to the Industrial Revolution and reboot civilization.

• [last lines] 

  Conductor : So jump. Your life will never be the same again, ever. And it's gonna be great.