Shawn Spencer: [Juliet and Gus pull up closer to the pickup truck Shawn is tied to, with their window rolled down] Whoa! Look at you, buddy! You're like Vin Diesel!
Burton 'Gus' Guster: That makes Jules Michelle Rodriguez and you Paul Walker.
Shawn Spencer: This is no good!
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Don't worry, Shawn! You're going to be all right!
Shawn Spencer: I'm know, I'll be fine! I just really don't want to be Paul Walker! Not even for one day!
Burton 'Gus' Guster: You could be Lucas Black from "Tokyo Drift", but then we wouldn't be in the movie with you.
Shawn Spencer: That's weird. I'll... I'll just be Walker.
[Shawn, locked in a car trunk, tries to call Gus, but accidentally dials an old date]
Gina: Shawn Spencer. What do you want?
Shawn Spencer: [stunned] Uh... Gina. Gina Raypack. Uh... hey. Hello.
Gina: That's all you have to say for yourself? "Uh, hello"? Why did you never call me back? Is it because I had two slices of cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory? Cause if that's it, I have lost a lot of weight since then, I really have.
Shawn Spencer: What? No... no! And I feel so bad about that, and I want to address it, I do, but... maybe you could do me... a little favor, here. You see, I'm in some trouble, and I need...
Gina: A favor? How dare you ask me for a favor after what you did to me? I'm sorry, but nobody, *nobody*, treats Gina Raypack that way... FYI!
Shawn Spencer: Wait, don't...
[Gina hangs up]
Shawn Spencer: [struggling with the duct tape around his wrists] It wasn't the cheesecake, it was the... talking about yourself in the third person...
Carlton Lassiter: [as McNab runs over to open his car door] Whoa! Easy there! Keep those oversized mitts off the car. This is a brand new issued vehicle. It's cherry and its going to stay that way. It's almost too sweet to drive.
Buzz McNab: [sniffs] Mmmmm... Smells like new car plus lemons.
Carlton Lassiter: Yeah, it does!
Buzz McNab: [looks in car window] Is that leather?
Carlton Lassiter: Pleather. Closest thing to it, though.
Carlton Lassiter: [seeing Shawn and Gus] What are they doing here?
Juliet O'Hara: Maybe Vick called them in?
Shawn Spencer: We are not here to hone in on your case. We just heard "ice cream" on our police radio, and it was Gus's snack time.
Shawn Spencer: I assume you're one of the welders that works here at the shop?
Garth Longmore: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just started. Who are you?
Shawn Spencer: Shawn Spencer, and this is my assistant... Donut Holestein.
Garth Longmore: Garth Longmore.
Shawn Spencer: Garth Longmore? Wow... now I feel bad.
[turns to Gus]
Shawn Spencer: I should have come up with something better for you.
Juliet O'Hara: [on learning Longmore had recently quit] Did he give a reason for quitting?
Senior Mechanic: Judging by the car he drove away in, I'd say he won the lottery.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: What kind of car was it?
Senior Mechanic: A '70 yellow Roadrunner.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: And this is supposed to be a *nice* car?
[Juliet and Mechanic exchange looks]
Burton 'Gus' Guster: What? Don't look at me! I drive an Echo!
Senior Mechanic: Son... are you wearing childrens pajamas?
Longmore's Partner: [arguing with Longmore in front of a bound Shawn] We don't need this distraction! Not now. I say we just shoot him in the head and dump the body, and get on with this.
Shawn Spencer: Uh... guys... if I could interject briefly here... and... and this is me speaking from my own experience... that feels a little rash. You're both under a great deal of stress and I dont think now is the time to make important life decisions. Now... I'll tell you what works for me... and... maybe this is just me... draw a hot bath... it doesn't matter who goes first.
Longmore's Partner: [points his gun at Shawn] You've got a smart mouth, huh? Huh?
Garth Longmore: Now look. I got it under control. You want me to shoot him right now myself? I will. Take him up.
Shawn Spencer: Not to be a stickler, here, but you did... you did shoot me once already.
Longmore's Partner: [pointing a gun at Shawn] You listenin' to me?
Shawn Spencer: I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything but the gun. ould be my ADD acting up.
Longmore's Partner: I want you to imagine a bullet, coming from that gun, penetrating your skin and lodging in your brain.
[shoves gun againts Shawn's neck and shoulder]
Longmore's Partner: You know how easy that would be for me?
Shawn Spencer: Physically? Yes. But I would imagine that it would give you pause... emotionally?
[Longmore's partner cocks the gun]
Shawn Spencer: No?
Longmore's Partner: You know how lucky you are? My idiot partner here screwed up big time. Hey... that's par for the course. Now... we pull this thing off, and we're out of here. But Einstien here screws up again, you're gonna be my ticket. Now I got a hostage sitting in my back pocket, just in case. But know this: one stupid move and I've got more than enough plastic bags for your body parts. Got it?
Shawn Spencer: [long pause] I got it.
[Longmore's partner uncocks the gun and walks away]
Shawn Spencer: Note to self: Call Hefty with commercial idea.
Shawn Spencer: [to Longmore] Thanks for duct-taping my bullethole with a chamois. Now, if you could just mail me... to my dad's house now... that would be... be awesome...
Shawn Spencer: [on learning that Longmore isn't his captor's real name] So, uh... what do I call you? Mr. Blonde? Mr Pink?
Garth Longmore: Shut it! God... what is your problem?
Shawn Spencer: [long pause] You know, I, uh... I've heard people say that with gun shot wounds it's really all about the shock, you know? That at some point, the... the wound itself just goes numb. You can't feel anything. Well, it's not true. I can say, without a doubt, that this is the most pain I've been in in my life. So, if you wouldn't mind turning the other direction, I would very much like to weep... if that's okay.
Garth Longmore: It's a flesh wound!
Henry Spencer: [running through the woods, with a breathless Lassiter behind him] Think you can pick up the pace... Mr. Viability?
Carlton Lassiter: There's an excelent chance I was bitten by a tick back there. I think I'm going through the beginning stages of Lyme's Disease.
Henry Spencer: [frowns] Man up, detective!
Carlton Lassiter: Steroids, right? You're juicing, aren't you? I knew it!
Juliet O'Hara: [searching Shawn's apartment with Gus] This is the old Mee Mee's Fluff and Fold!
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Yup. Shawn got a good deal on the rent.
Juliet O'Hara: Well, I hope so. It's a dry cleaners.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Yeah, well, it's kind of his thing. Last spring, he stayed at the Cullery Mine space. See all these saucers, here? He made them. Besides, this place has its advantages.
[Gus clicks the rack to spin the clothes around and starts taking off his coat]
Juliet O'Hara: [horrified] What are you doing?
Burton 'Gus' Guster: What? I'm not wearing these pajamas anymore.
Juliet O'Hara: So you're stealing his clothes? He's not dead!
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I'm not stealing anythi...
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Holy crap! Half these clothes are mine!
[pulls out a sleeve]
Burton 'Gus' Guster: This is *my* shirt!
Burton 'Gus' Guster: [Looking on Shawn's laptop] Let me just check into Shawn's history to see what his most recent web searches were... Mentalistspoilers dot com... Billy Zane dot thumbnail slash hair dot com...
Burton 'Gus' Guster: [driving the Echo in a high-speed persuit] Gun it, Jules! Give it all its got!
Juliet O'Hara: This *is* all its got!
Shawn Spencer: [takes a stance on the side of the truckbed he's in while they are still driving at high speeds] Get ready, buddy... I'm going to jump on your hood!
Burton 'Gus' Guster: You must be out of your damn mind, Shawn! This is a company car! Jump on Lassiter's!
[Shawn moves to the other side and waves to Henry and Lassiter]
Shawn Spencer: Move closer!
Carlton Lassiter: No! No! N-No! Do not jump on this vehicle! This is a brand new vehicle!
Shawn Spencer: Look, man, I have been shot! I am jumping on *somebody's* car!
Henry Spencer: [Shawn has just jumped onto Lassiter's moving car] Hang on tight! Hold on! Hold on!
Shawn Spencer: Great idea, Dad! I was thinking of *not* doing that!
Carlton Lassiter: Spencer!
Shawn Spencer: Which one are you talking to?
Carlton Lassiter: It doesn't matter. You're the same person!
Juliet O'Hara: [answers the phone] Shawn!
Shawn Spencer: This call is to say goodbye.
Juliet O'Hara: Shawn, are you okay?
Burton 'Gus' Guster: [behind Juliet] Try to get anything: a location...
Juliet O'Hara: Shawn, where are you?
Shawn Spencer: Don't... don't ask me any questions, 'cause I can't say anything else. If you care about me, you'll understand.
Juliet O'Hara: [sits down] I'm listening.
Shawn Spencer: We're not going to be able to have... much of a future anymore, but... back at where we were, I'll be there, okay?
Juliet O'Hara: Back... I don't know what that means, Shawn. What are you talking about?
Shawn Spencer: The wind chimes that I got you for your birthday... every time you hear them from now on, that'll be me.
Juliet O'Hara: Okay... Shawn, first of all, you are going to be fine. We're going to find you, okay? Don't worry.
Garth Longmore: [behind Shawn] Okay, this is supposed to be a goodbye call. Now, tell her you love her and let's go!
Shawn Spencer: Listen, before... before I go, I have to say one more thing.
Juliet O'Hara: Of course, Shawn. What is it?
Garth Longmore: [behind Shawn] Say it!
Shawn Spencer: I... I need you to know that... I love you.
Juliet O'Hara: [stunned] Oh... Shawn... I think that I...
Shawn Spencer: Goodbye, Abigail.
Carlton Lassiter: Nice shooting, detective.
Shawn Spencer: Did you just call me "detective"?
Carlton Lassiter: [holsters his gun] No...