Kat Stratford: [talking to Patrick] I'm not skipping home to scribble in my journal that maybe you're a vampire.
Patrick Verona: Noted.
Michael Bernstein: Cameron, how's it going?
Cameron: Not so good. I feel weird. Ever since Bianca got here, my head has been filled with rainbows and Enya.
Bianca Stratford: Kat, I need your help.
Kat Stratford: Finally. The first step is admitting you have a problem. The next step is making you a brunette again.
Bianca Stratford: [about Chastity] Kat was right. For a popular girl, she is a teenage Long Duk Dong.
Cameron: I'm sorry, who?
Bianca Stratford: The dictator of North Korea.
Larry: You girls are late. Where were you?
Bianca Stratford: We were having sex with the soccer team. It took longer than expected.
Bianca Stratford: I thought I'd learn the routine because, God forbid, someone gets sick or hurt or pregnant. Thanks a lot, Juno!
Chastity Church: [about the fundraiser] Okay, but no bake sale. The last thing this school needs is more fat people.
Kat Stratford: High school is like Vietnam and these stupid flowers are Agent Orange.
Kat Stratford: [about the yearbook pictures she took] It looks like one of those herpes commercials where everybody is so happy despite the fact that they have herpes.
Kat Stratford: [after Walter suggests to Bianca to have a car wash for a fundraiser] Great idea, Dad! Half-naked cheerleaders, wet and soapy, standing on a street asking for money.
Dr. Walter Stratford: No car wash.
Bianca Stratford: Daddy.
Dr. Walter Stratford: No car wash!